約砲冏事雜談 - 成人話題討論

By Victoria
at 2015-03-16T21:17
at 2015-03-16T21:17
Table of Contents
昨天K跟我分享他之前約砲時發生的糗事
他約了一個超正的女孩
有胸有腰有長腿 五官很立體
他說超興奮 從來沒遇過這麼正的女孩願意給他幹XD
我接著問說 有比我正嗎?
K說 比你正多了
聽到這邊心都涼了一半 不過不要灰心
讓我們繼續看下去
到了房間之後 兩個人忘情地摸摸親親
他順勢將手探入對方下體
赫然發現他也有跟自己同樣的雄性特徵!
K受到不小的驚嚇
止住動作 楞在現場
那位「正妹」還很溫馨地問說 怎麼了 你是太緊張了嗎 我可以幫你……
聽到這邊我笑到不行XD
最後K就說很抱歉臨時有事 當場收東西走人
我不忘糗K
恭喜你遇到「極品正妹」 只可惜他下面跟你一樣大XD
這讓我想到我有兩次一夜的經驗也是慘不忍睹
之前在健身房認識一個學長
學長白皙的肌膚配上背肌線條真的是秀色可餐
那天要去他家睡的時候我還自備了保險套 深怕不夠用
後來發現學長原來不是慢吞吞地烏龜
而是一匹快如閃電的良駒
就在學長插進去的時候
看著學長帥氣的臉龐 我已準備好享受隨之而來的猛烈抽送
但是他專業地抖動了一下
然後
就
射 了
「一下」就火山爆發 彈盡糧絕 實為罕見
他馬上說 對不起 接著把頭低下來
我只好輕鬆地說 沒關係 可能是我太緊了XD
可是這句話似乎沒有消除學長的心魔
因為後來學長好像陷入了自己的黑暗世界中 坐在床沿說他要先冷靜一下
冏 欸欸我還沒爽到耶!用手指或道具幫一下也行吧……
不過我明白學長可能要先處理一下自己的挫敗感
所以我就先去睡覺了XD
直到現在還是不曉得遇到「良駒」到底該怎麼處理
如果當下用撒嬌地口氣說
「學長~我覺得你剛才XX的時候還蠻舒服的(先誇獎),可是人家還沒到耶~~,可以在
一次嗎(親一下)~滿足人家一下馬~~」之類的
這樣有用嗎?
另外一次是遇到「不會帶保險套」的人
出來玩耍還不會戴保險套
只能說是找死
不過他不是「不想戴」 而是「不會戴」
因為我也不會幫男生戴 實在是無能為力
後來他還說
可以不要戴嗎
說不戴怎麼不去吃屎你哪位阿!
還白花了我三個保險套讓他練習
心裡著實不爽
遇到這種地雷真的是
望雞止渴 幹意難伸
最後請他回家
慢走不送
在補個西斯點
學長長得像李東旭 脣紅齒白 177/68
線條分明
就算他是一匹良駒好了
也是超帥的良駒
只是如果不處理
良駒也是難遇會欣賞的伯樂阿
--
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