雷炮 - 成人話題討論
By Ina
at 2018-10-05T02:06
at 2018-10-05T02:06
Table of Contents
好久沒發廢文惹^_^
最近跟朋友聊天聊到一件事覺得太匪夷所思
所以我就來惹 顆顆
先來講一下前情提要
首先呢,我是一個很愛打炮的人
但是我沒辦法接受自己好不容易約到一個男的
褲檔一打開不是大岩蛇就算了,還他媽的是綠毛蟲
所以在約見面之前,雙方換照是一定要的
當然也包含了很多男的很愛傳的屌照哈哈哈哈
雖然很多女生覺得看屌照很噁心
但那是在女生不想看,男生就強迫直接自動開圖的情況
我覺得有時候看屌照是為了保護自己XD
誰想化好妝換上騷內衣,結果大費周章上了床卻根本沒爽到
但如果有人為了約炮,連屌照都要盜別人的大雞雞那就另當別論=_=
雖然說光看照片也不一定就能百分之百保證這根老二好用
可是一根15公分看起來乾淨又好像蠻好吃的
和一根11公分毛很亂又長的有點奇怪的(?
應該有八九成的女生都會選擇前者吧XD
除非個人有特殊的癖好就是了
可是!就是這個可是!
一直以來信奉這個幹前驗屌美德的我竟然踩雷了Q___Q
就叫他J吧
其實也不是說每個約過的都是極品天菜會讓人回味無窮
而是J真的讓我期待太高卻又失望太大XD
聊天的過程中和大家沒什麼不同
就是充滿曖昧,卻又時而變態羞澀
和以往不同的是我們根本沒換過照
我所謂的照是指淫照
談論的話題雖有些限制級,卻又不至於太露骨腥羶
但我真的太想知道J的尺寸到底如何
試探多次他都不正面回答,有次我只好直接脫口而出了
「你到底粗不粗啊?」
「問這幹嘛?你喜歡粗的?」
「廢話喔,當然是喜歡又粗又硬的啊」
「我是不知道我算不算粗喇,但之前讓幾個女生都撕裂傷」
相信看到這的看官們
如果是頗有經驗或有敏銳直覺的,應該都很清楚關鍵字了
撕裂傷!!!!!
讓幾個女生都撕裂傷!!!!
不得不說當下看到J打出這段話
我真的差點口水和淫水都同時流出來
以前聽朋友說過,他曾和直徑4.5的做過
雖然很爽,但做到最後已經有點不舒服,因為太大了
後來又約到一個直徑5的,好像根本就沒有爽是只有痛
而且撕裂傷真的是會讓女生痛到想哭那種
所以我內心瞬間就開始小劇場了起來
『天啊會撕裂傷,那不就超粗超大感覺會爽死』
『但萬一真的受傷會超痛Q_Q又要休息不能打炮好可惜』
但是,想也知道變態如我當然還是去修幹了
不然怎麼會有今天這篇文的出現呢哈哈哈哈哈
快轉到了J的房間
朦朧的燈光下,他將我撲倒在柔軟的床褥
用臭跩的臉俯視著我,完全就是要大幹一場的淫靡氣氛
此時的我早已濕潤不已,內心的期待已經無法形容
J突然拉住我的手,往他的五分褲管裡面放
『天啊這個色胚!竟然沒有穿內褲>\\\\<』
這是我摸到小JJ的第一個反應
過了大約0.5秒,突然開始有種不祥的預感
『幹?????這三小?????痾......』
當J實際將褲子脫下後,更證明我剛剛的感覺沒有錯
你他媽的最好老二這樣女生會撕裂傷XDDDDDD
幹被你刺傷還比較有可能吧
後面打炮的過程太無聊了,也懶得贅述
J就是那種我把他的老二放到嘴裡,也無法塞滿嘴的尺寸
深喉嚨也是超級無敵輕鬆XD
說不定我還可以邊吃屌一邊吃棒棒糖哈哈哈哈哈
從頭到尾根本就沒有爽,也終於體驗了演戲到底有多累
從他插進來到拔出去,我還拼命夾緊想說可能會有感一點
但是,沒有。
好不容易終於結束一切,卻又面臨一個更尷尬的情況
「誒你好緊喔怎麼那麼緊」
J一臉心滿意足地看著我,嘴角的笑容卻讓我想撇過頭
「哈哈我也不知道誒,好像真的蠻緊」
但我已經連回話的意願都快沒有,只想快點睡覺
「那你剛剛有高潮嗎?」
哈哈哈哈哈你確定你要問這個?
約炮中最經典的問題居然出現了
可是我無法說謊,我只能邊乾笑邊說些不著邊際的話
「哎悠為什麼男生都那麼愛問這個XD」
反正就是最近和朋友聊到雷炮,剛好讓我想起這個人
我實在不明白怎麼會J可以爽成那樣,我卻一點都不爽
照理說打炮這件事不是應該互相的嗎?
你的屌插在我的穴裡
你被包覆住很爽,那我的穴應該也會很有感覺啊
為了研究這個問題,我們認真討論了一番
https://i.imgur.com/BoTNYl2.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/Sesxwpy.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/7jKWRX1.jpg

在手機上畫畫真的有夠難,大家看得懂意思就好XD
一直以為這個雷炮就是空幹,到底是在爽三小
朋友突破盲腸說:
「但你小拇指放進去也會被包住啊」
真的是太有道理了哈哈哈
為什麼我放自己的手指進去會比他放老二進去還有感呢
所以我就更搞不懂到底是為什麼了
有人也遇過這樣的情況嗎Q_Q
我真心求解啊
以過來人的經驗奉勸女性同胞
如果有男的說他的老二會讓人撕裂傷最好保持懷疑
不然他一定95%是太細把女生刺傷喇!!!
事情發生得當下沒想太多
現在回想起來越來越覺得自己好白癡,有夠蠢哈哈哈
在和朋友聊這件事的時候笑到停不下來
https://i.imgur.com/jHTGDKj.jpg

btw 之前有人寄信來問我奶為何可以拍得那麼大
其實你只要用下面這個姿勢拍,說不定男生拍也奶很大
但不要拍得和我一樣有點像女鬼就是了XD
https://i.imgur.com/yB4o63G.jpg

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https://i.imgur.com/JQNLc2N.jpg

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Tags:
成人
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at 2018-11-20T07:14
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at 2018-11-21T02:02
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