雷炮 - 成人話題討論

By Sandy
at 2018-05-29T11:48

Table of Contents

這是一篇勸世文
幫朋友代PO
當然

我絕對不會承認我朋友就是我，嘻嘻！

話說最近跟某個很ㄎㄧㄤ友人閒聊
她很哀怨的告訴我這個故事…
差點沒笑死

某天卵子衝腦性慾高漲
於是當某個聊很久的對象提出邀約
沒有事先驗貨就貿然答應還帶回家
之前在電話中吹噓自己的性愛技巧
講得天花亂墜口沫橫飛
照片看起來也一表人才相貌堂堂
結果一開門

「Hello? Excuse me? Who are you?」

人是被直接拉寬兩倍吧
這就算了
總長20分鐘，19分鐘都是我在幫他含
剩下的1分鐘我還以為我在跟打樁機上床
只是工具是「玉米筍」
拎鄒罵完全沒有爽到啊啊啊啊啊媽的咧
說好的前戲呢？說好的填滿呢？說好的大ㄐㄐ呢？
根本廣告不實啦！幹！
後來還把手機忘在我家
為了找我又是貼紙條在門上
又是問鄰居
甚至拍打鐵捲門
搞得左鄰右舍都知道我帶男人回家
幸好圓謊圓過去
喵的真得很雖小

我以為帶回家是一場淋漓瘋狂的性愛，原來只是1分鐘的陰道針灸體驗啊(菸

==============================

所以說…
公開說明書真的要認真看啊
還有
真的不要帶人回家，這樣鄰居會很困擾 XD

--

Tags: 成人

All Comments

By Jack
at 2018-05-31T22:11

一樓覺得很有道理五樓怎麼看?

By Mia
at 2018-06-03T08:34

五樓覺的不行

By Quintina
at 2018-06-05T18:57

歡迎來電洽詢陰道大整頓工程本公司保證一定敲敲打打
到鄰居出來抗議

By Callum
at 2018-06-08T05:20

自己不驗貨怪誰呢

By Donna
at 2018-06-10T15:43

怎麼老是聽說帥哥GG小，我不當帥哥了

By Edith
at 2018-06-13T02:05

已寄信

By Kristin
at 2018-06-15T12:28

樓下肥宅但是gg還是小

By Damian
at 2018-06-17T22:51

活該我當大賢者

By Xanthe
at 2018-06-20T09:14

感覺他就是故意把手機留下，準備再來第二次

By Enid
at 2018-06-22T19:37

我有聖人光環~你有嗎 =3=

By Hedy
at 2018-06-25T06:00

真是慈悲為懷(￣▽￣)ノ

By Victoria
at 2018-06-27T16:23

朋友把手機丟在門外叫他自己找XD
早知道就可以去撿一支iphone7

By Michael
at 2018-06-30T02:46

樓上要承認朋友就是你嗎

By Emma
at 2018-07-02T13:09

陰道針灸體驗XD 事前真的要驗貨啦!!沒驗貨通常都很雷阿

By Kristin
at 2018-07-04T23:32

拍拍，厭青介紹給我可以嗎

By Frederic
at 2018-07-07T09:54

他故意留手機的吧= =

By Lauren
at 2018-07-09T20:17

好慘喔!!!大家快寄信!!

By Franklin
at 2018-07-12T06:40

所以說驗貨這個關卡大家不是虛設的

By Odelette
at 2018-07-14T17:03

針灸，笑死 XDD

By Rebecca
at 2018-07-17T03:26

好險都是我雷人家嘻嘻

By Emily
at 2018-07-19T13:49

樓上雷我啊

By Lily
at 2018-07-22T00:12

鄰居事後越想越來勁

By Valerie
at 2018-07-24T10:35

陰道針灸療法！！

By Queena
at 2018-07-26T20:58

幫拍拍

By Agnes
at 2018-07-29T07:21

陰道針灸我笑了

By Dora
at 2018-07-31T17:43

來

By Edward Lewis
at 2018-08-03T04:06

原來妳有在...

By Ursula
at 2018-08-05T14:29

陰道針灸也是一門學問...

By Jack
at 2018-08-08T00:52

哈哈看了邊吃飯邊笑

By Una
at 2018-08-10T11:15

我衝喔

By Erin
at 2018-08-12T21:38

已寄信

By Kumar
at 2018-08-15T08:01

我寄惹

By Carol
at 2018-08-17T18:24

可以請你朋友找我～

By Oscar
at 2018-08-20T04:47

奈米哥我有在幹嘛說清楚喔
朋友心靈創傷中哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

By Selena
at 2018-08-22T15:10

幹這真的有奇XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Joe
at 2018-08-25T01:32

拍拍，辛苦妳惹。阿不對...我4說妳朋友

By Hazel
at 2018-08-27T11:55

太多我變第一人稱了

By Donna
at 2018-08-29T22:18

這道理就是強者我朋友

By Oliver
at 2018-09-01T08:41

這種恥辱還是放心裡不要說出來比較好過一點

By Ina
at 2018-09-03T19:04

玉米筍表示總和還是有20分鐘是妳含太久

By Genevieve
at 2018-09-06T05:27

下次記得先視訊驗貨

By Regina
at 2018-09-08T15:50

我家沒鐵捲門快來我家

By Lauren
at 2018-09-11T02:13

乾，看到雷貨文真的不爽。我也要雷雷夥伴

By Kumar
at 2018-09-13T12:36

樓上肺腑之言，樓下要聽進去啊

By Ida
at 2018-09-15T22:59

回信唷

By Margaret
at 2018-09-18T09:21

我家是中醫世家到我祖傳第四代了陰道針灸略有涉獵吹密
吹密

By Kumar
at 2018-09-20T19:44

跟吃洋芋片一樣打開都空氣幹你娘

By Necoo
at 2018-09-23T06:07

約我

By Agnes
at 2018-09-25T16:30

我被驗貨後都表示可以，可是驗到臉就不行了

By Anthony
at 2018-09-28T02:53

寄了回我。

By Ethan
at 2018-09-30T13:16

品管開不良

By Robert
at 2018-10-02T23:39

雷槍專打巨人https://i.imgur.com/tGb8hfc.jpg

By Charlotte
at 2018-10-05T10:02

鄰居表示：鼻要吵吵哦

By Steve
at 2018-10-07T20:25

洋芋片我笑瘋哈哈哈

By Mia
at 2018-10-10T06:48

剔牙剔20分我覺得太久不行

By Olga
at 2018-10-12T17:10

拍鐵捲門我笑了，白目的可以

By Frederica
at 2018-10-15T03:33

真的有這麼多這麼小的人喔 0.0

By Leila
at 2018-10-17T13:56

拍拍

By Quintina
at 2018-10-20T00:19

推針灸XDD

By Christine
at 2018-10-22T10:42

原來是品嗑 ._.ψ

By David
at 2018-10-24T21:05

太唬爛

By Joe
at 2018-10-27T07:28

針對穴位針灸好針好針

By Freda
at 2018-10-29T17:51

https://i.imgur.com/N3sO83q.jpg 示意圖

By Dinah
at 2018-11-01T04:14

https://i.imgur.com/JcUlG2F.jpg
健生中醫關心您

By Victoria
at 2018-11-03T14:37

樓上這應該是被螞蟻咬到的星星腸

By Ivy
at 2018-11-06T00:59

我用尾指都贏過玉米筍（欸

By Charlie
at 2018-11-08T11:22

厭青的話我先寄了

By Rae
at 2018-11-10T21:45

我醜臉這關就過不了了QQ

By Hedda
at 2018-11-13T08:08

小白最近一直被插，表現有失水準

By Elvira
at 2018-11-15T18:31

小馬騙人QQ

By Madame
at 2018-11-18T04:54

笑死XDDDDDD

By Joe
at 2018-11-20T15:17

大家都愛插小白嘻嘻

By Donna
at 2018-11-23T01:40

寄惹

By Erin
at 2018-11-25T12:03

我寄了

By Barb Cronin
at 2018-11-27T22:26

被插是一種習慣插好插滿是一種態度

By Adele
at 2018-11-30T08:48

ㄧ分鐘還不如自己來

By Jessica
at 2018-12-02T19:11

小白我等著要插你

By Emma
at 2018-12-05T05:34

通常不是都會先在外面7-11嗎XD

By Ida
at 2018-12-07T15:57

身為一個男子漢要有好習慣跟好態度也是應該的

By Ethan
at 2018-12-10T02:20

原來可以寄，大家，我先寄了

By Bethany
at 2018-12-12T12:43

果然只靠一張嘴是不行滴

By Sarah
at 2018-12-14T23:06

傻傻的不找我 16好吃又好用

By Hedwig
at 2018-12-17T09:29

咂哺郎千萬母湯春幾支嘴

By Michael
at 2018-12-19T19:52

快被工具是玉米筍跟陰道針灸笑死

By Bethany
at 2018-12-22T06:15

想不到你...

By Mason
at 2018-12-24T16:37

不少男人真的超會嘴的，詐欺行銷啊~

By Wallis
at 2018-12-27T03:00

玉米筍據說是真的很像啦，細細的前端又很尖XD

By Hedwig
at 2018-12-29T13:23

會推銷自己的才銷售的出去不包裝自己的活該單身嗚嗚嗚

By Freda
at 2018-12-31T23:46

我完全不會包裝自己佛系約炮(？)

By Noah
at 2019-01-03T10:09

已寄

By Bennie
at 2019-01-05T20:32

最近好多玉米筍 ww

By Valerie
at 2019-01-08T06:55

哈哈哈

By Oliver
at 2019-01-10T17:18

你們把金針菇放在哪裡啊！！

By Caroline
at 2019-01-13T03:41

嗚嗚嗚突然覺得自己好魯

By Todd Johnson
at 2019-01-15T14:04

已寄信回我

By Lily
at 2019-01-18T00:26

寄了回我

By Linda
at 2019-01-20T10:49

我超愛吃玉米筍啊啊啊啊以後我要怎麼面對玉米筍

By Jacob
at 2019-01-22T21:12

樓上，至少妳不會拿玉米筍針灸啊

By Rachel
at 2019-01-25T07:35

幫樓上qq

By Andy
at 2019-01-27T17:58

我記得你故事很多，不只這一個阿?

By Sierra Rose
at 2019-01-30T04:21

幸好我不喜歡吃玉米筍XD

By Joe
at 2019-02-01T14:44

幹...可次我喜歡啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 QAQ

By Rachel
at 2019-02-04T01:07

我超愛欸
安妮塔我們一起吃玉米筍，小白要不要來

By Candice
at 2019-02-06T11:30

小白我可以幫你針灸唷

By Dorothy
at 2019-02-08T21:53

小白說好的玉米筍燒烤ㄋ？我還要吃牛舌

By Iris
at 2019-02-11T08:15

我可以參一咖嗎

By Delia
at 2019-02-13T18:38

來啊中間給你插

By Necoo
at 2019-02-16T05:01

我在哪兩位中間？厭青跟安妮塔中間嗎XD

By Charlotte
at 2019-02-18T15:24

不是耶是台北跟新北的中間唷~

By Freda
at 2019-02-21T01:47

我台南，誰在我中間

By Yuri
at 2019-02-23T12:10

我也台南尋求中間(?)

By Jack
at 2019-02-25T22:33

人形蜈蚣的概念(?)

By Ursula
at 2019-02-28T08:56

厭青感覺不錯玩欸

By Lauren
at 2019-03-02T19:19

所以是露珠代表

By Hardy
at 2019-03-05T05:42

自己不驗貨事後抱怨雷的我都給噓

By Rosalind
at 2019-03-07T16:04

幫妳QQ 妳中的是最基本的雷招

By Frederica
at 2019-03-10T02:27

針灸XDDD

By Irma
at 2019-03-12T12:50

我針灸達人

By Tom
at 2019-03-14T23:13

拍拍

By Barb Cronin
at 2019-03-17T09:36

玉米筍好吃，幫玉米筍QQ

By Dorothy
at 2019-03-19T19:59

來這驗貨，來和神速粗大打樁機單挑阿

By Isla
at 2019-03-22T06:22

歡迎把我帶回家，不滿意可以退貨

By Jacob
at 2019-03-24T16:45

別森7嘛~害我以為不好笑被噓差點崩潰QQ

By Jessica
at 2019-03-27T03:08

針灸XD

By Rachel
at 2019-03-29T13:31

來，我想看妳崩潰

By Adele
at 2019-03-31T23:53

尼克way蛇摸都不回人家ㄋ?桑心心捏

By Hardy
at 2019-04-03T10:16

我晚一點考慮回妳，真心不騙

By Xanthe
at 2019-04-05T20:39

https://i.imgur.com/ZZppnfT.jpg

By Mary
at 2019-04-08T07:02

乾，按到噓。sorry

By Jacob
at 2019-04-10T17:25

尼克噓我補推回來

By Mary
at 2019-04-13T03:48

白白我愛你<3
你剛剛噓了ㄏㄏ，還被插樓

By Donna
at 2019-04-15T14:11

看到樓上我都是給推
乾

By Regina
at 2019-04-18T00:34

我推

By Rachel
at 2019-04-20T10:57

可憐的ㄋㄧㄎㄜ
尼克
我寄了沒回

By Noah
at 2019-04-22T21:20

妳先寄一封信來，我剛好有事問妳

By Tom
at 2019-04-25T07:42

我是純粹喝妳參考一下XDDDD

By Dorothy
at 2019-04-27T18:05

不要信箱爆了不想開，提問注意禮貌唷>.^

By Tom
at 2019-04-30T04:28

純粹喝不好喝啦換一個

By Necoo
at 2019-05-02T14:51

真雖小

By Barb Cronin
at 2019-05-05T01:14

哈哈

By Puput
at 2019-05-07T11:37

貝納頌

By Ingrid
at 2019-05-09T22:00

哪來那麼多玉米筍......

By Edwina
at 2019-05-12T08:23

樓上，全聯很多

By Olivia
at 2019-05-14T18:46

信箱不開是要我回什麼.....

By Jacky
at 2019-05-17T05:09

尼克怎麼又噓

By John
at 2019-05-19T15:31

我補推

By Eartha
at 2019-05-22T01:54

可能我跟尼尼有過結ㄅ?
We are not friend anymore嗚嗚

By Emily
at 2019-05-24T12:17

厭青拍拍，可以介紹給我嗎

By Kumar
at 2019-05-26T22:40

欸欸我們沒有過節，端午節我再考慮一起過

By Mia
at 2019-05-29T09:03

蟲蟲，澳洲太遠了，醒醒
不用考慮，我也沒有想過ㄏㄏ

By Edwina
at 2019-05-31T19:26

口是我要回去了

By Poppy
at 2019-06-03T05:49

蟲蟲不能出賣朋友啦QQ

By Mia
at 2019-06-05T16:12

哈哈哈

By Rae
at 2019-06-08T02:35

這不是出賣，這是介紹，她不願意也沒關係的XD

By Brianna
at 2019-06-10T12:58

我再腿推

By Ophelia
at 2019-06-12T23:20

欸推在CD

By Kristin
at 2019-06-15T09:43

含19分也太累了

By Andy
at 2019-06-17T20:06

請正名:剔牙19分XD

By Enid
at 2019-06-20T06:29

我都幫舔30分

By Catherine
at 2019-06-22T16:52

厭青妳......

By Rosalind
at 2019-06-25T03:15

對付大怪有時候用針槍比較有效喔

By Noah
at 2019-06-27T13:38

妳人真好

By Michael
at 2019-06-30T00:01

鬧鬧要看清楚內文ㄛ~^_^

By Thomas
at 2019-07-02T10:24

噗哈哈哈

By Heather
at 2019-07-04T20:47

我是覺得啦，武器弱小就不要拿出來丟人現眼了啦XD

By Edith
at 2019-07-07T07:09

我都會搭配副武器：嘴巴跟手

By Kyle
at 2019-07-09T17:32

太好笑，找我好嗎，保證滿意，用過都說讚

By Noah
at 2019-07-12T03:55

推爆

By Elma
at 2019-07-14T14:18

乾～玉米筍哈哈

By Joseph
at 2019-07-17T00:41

我恨你們啦我超愛吃玉米筍的嗚嗚

By Elizabeth
at 2019-07-19T11:04

樓上我也超愛啊

By Bennie
at 2019-07-21T21:27

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Megan
at 2019-07-24T07:50

哈哈哈陰道針灸好好笑

By Irma
at 2019-07-26T18:13

男人嘴不能信啊～茶

By Noah
at 2019-07-29T04:36

男人嘴可以用啊，樓上

By Eartha
at 2019-07-31T14:58

第一次就帶回家....是因為有梁靜茹給的勇氣嗎？

By Wallis
at 2019-08-03T01:21

阿斯~推一個!!

By John
at 2019-08-05T11:44

傻傻的來驗

By Vanessa
at 2019-08-07T22:07

我開始懷念梁靜茹了

By Andy
at 2019-08-10T08:30

玉米筍很好ㄘ欸

By Mia
at 2019-08-12T18:53

還能含個19分鐘好厲害，幫我含我讓妳開心(///▽///)

By Frederica
at 2019-08-15T05:16

叮叮咚咚是陰道打樁聲，我不是歸人，我只是個雷貨

By Zanna
at 2019-08-17T15:39

范范來我含～

By Sandy
at 2019-08-20T02:02

令~人~鼻~酸~

By Odelette
at 2019-08-22T12:25

陰道針灸 XDD

By Olive
at 2019-08-24T22:47

玉米筍哭哭...還滿好吃的，拿來做沙拉正好

By William
at 2019-08-27T09:10

范范我也幫你含

By Odelette
at 2019-08-29T19:33

ㄟ

By Delia
at 2019-09-01T05:56

因為只有帥哥會被約當然只能評論帥哥gg小

By Cara
at 2019-09-03T16:19

這我寄

By Jack
at 2019-09-06T02:42

樓上寄3小

By Zenobia
at 2019-09-08T13:05

脾氣這麼差，我喜歡:D

By Andy
at 2019-09-10T23:28

94兇

By Regina
at 2019-09-13T09:51

還好武器尺寸顏色都不差，女生看到都說顏色很棒

By Audriana
at 2019-09-15T20:14

有笑有推哈哈哈哈哈

By Tom
at 2019-09-18T06:36

顏色很棒是巧克力還是粉色？

By Isla
at 2019-09-20T16:59

總比我三小時摩鐵休息只用了三分鐘剩下時間只能泡澡泡到
退房....

By David
at 2019-09-23T03:22

泡澡很棒啊，我愛泡溫泉XD

By Callum
at 2019-09-25T13:45

泡到脫皮ㄌ

By Charlotte
at 2019-09-28T00:08

厭青跟我泡溫泉～

By Lauren
at 2019-09-30T10:31

搖搖冬天約北投～

By Hedy
at 2019-10-02T20:54

我也有受騙上當過，說有過一天9次，結果一次才五分鐘，
而且還軟的，根本沒感覺，我都不知道這在幹嘛

By Delia
at 2019-10-05T07:17

我一定超過一分鐘寄了回我

By Dora
at 2019-10-07T17:40

就叫你別找庸醫了吧來醫生看看

By Hedwig
at 2019-10-10T04:03

他用它點了妳的傷心穴

By Eden
at 2019-10-12T14:25

庸醫XD

By Quintina
at 2019-10-15T00:48

我是第100個～Ya 任務完成

By Megan
at 2019-10-17T11:11

有笑有推

By Eartha
at 2019-10-19T21:34

笑了

By Quintina
at 2019-10-22T07:57

By Bethany
at 2019-10-24T18:20

可以試試我

By Kelly
at 2019-10-27T04:43

還好我不帥

By Candice
at 2019-10-29T15:06

針灸體驗 1min

By Robert
at 2019-11-01T01:29

希望下次看到玉米筍，妳可以馬上走人

By Gary
at 2019-11-03T11:52

寄了寄了

By Joseph
at 2019-11-05T22:14

歡迎驗貨

By Jessica
at 2019-11-08T08:37

你484喜歡吃玉米筍

By Belly
at 2019-11-10T19:00

幫厭青朋友QQ

By Candice
at 2019-11-13T05:23

為玉米筍抱不平

By George
at 2019-11-15T15:46

推推～～

By Liam
at 2019-11-18T02:09

陰道針灸害我笑到不行

By Tom
at 2019-11-20T12:32

原來是你

By Una
at 2019-11-22T22:55

幹，真的不是我好嗎= =

By Rebecca
at 2019-11-25T09:18

鄰居路過

By Necoo
at 2019-11-27T19:41

推陰道針灸

By George
at 2019-11-30T06:03

針車潤滑油

By Kama
at 2019-12-02T16:26

玉米筍…

By Erin
at 2019-12-05T02:49

http://i.imgur.com/Ivf5lhC.jpg

By Ula
at 2019-12-07T13:12

把總長20分鐘看成20公分

雷炮 - 成人話題討論

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