運動員的能力(之前分類選錯刪後重PO) - 成人話題討論

By Eden
at 2016-04-21T17:00
at 2016-04-21T17:00
Table of Contents
※ 引述《chch0606 (Aspiration)》之銘言:
: 看到最近一些關於運動員能力如何的討論,
: 作為一個西斯潛水鄉民忍不住手癢獻出了首PO。
: 我是一個運動員,因為只喜歡女生,沒跟男生做過XD,
我曾經也是個運動員(笑),
不同種類的運動員,是會有不一樣的優點的。
以下請開電腦按空白鍵觀賞,手機請用全板模式/整頁模式。
(用電腦看比較不會失真,手機app會有圖歪掉或顏色跑掉的問題。)
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= 馬拉松選手 =
能連續跑42.195公里的體力不是蓋的,體力超好,
如果懶較也能撐這麼久的話,做愛基本兩小時起跳沒問題。
(跑步可以跑兩小時但是懶較只有兩秒鐘,就........就算了.......)
吸、吸、呼~
吸、吸、呼~
/
可以不要連做愛都控制呼吸嗎? 男
\ _█>
女r2 ||
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= 足球選手 =
除了馬拉松以外,足球也是個全場跑體力要很好的運動,
另一個優點是他們的腳很厲害,可能比手還要靈巧,
在腳交這一方面可以帶來很大的快感。
(腳比手要粗糙,喜歡摩擦係數高一點的女生會喜歡腳交。)
如何?
好棒! 腳是不是更棒?
不但會用手, /
還會用腳.... 男
\ ︿█>
女r2 |
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= 排球選手 =
一個排球隊裡面有分主攻手、快攻手、舉球員、自由球員,厲害的地方不一樣,
主攻手與快攻手手掌超夠力的,巴奶或巴屁股都可以打到熱辣辣,超級過癮,
舉球員的雙手靈活、有技巧又柔軟,摸奶、揉奶、搓奶很有一套,
自由球員很會飛撲接球,女生隨便亂跳下床都可以接得到,但跟做愛無關。
(最好是整隊收編,這樣才能享受各種奇才。)
很會巴 ●
↘
<攻/ ∥ 雜魚
█ ∥ ↙
)) [舉]∥ 接 自 ←很會接
█ ∥ // //
很會揉→ || ∥ << <<
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= 籃球選手 =
打籃球的都很愛射,不管是投籃、還是丟垃圾,
看到框或洞就要投一下,做愛當然也會挑戰三分線中出。
(厲害一點的神射手射出去就轉身歡呼、射後不理,有點煩。)
. .
. . 拎杯咖哩!
. . /
菌~~~! . . 男 — \男/
\ . ._█> — █
女r2 \\ — /|
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= 棒球選手 =
棒球選手最棒的就是他家裡會有很多支球棒,32吋、33吋、33.5吋、34吋各種長度,
平常用木棒,夏天天氣比較熱,可以改用鋁棒比較清涼,
再依照自己的喜好選擇用棒頭還是棒尾。
(棒球選手最重要的就是他的球棒!不是選手本身。)
享受擴張感用這端
按摩G點用這端 ↘
↙
█ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█████████████
██████████████████████████████████
█ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█████████████
(用手機看,這支球棒可能會破圖。)
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= 標槍選手 =
沒什麼優點,就是按摩棒丟超遠超準的。
(缺點是需要空間助跑,很少人家裡這麼大。)
要丟了要丟了!
▁ /
來吧! \男」—
\ █ —
女r2 <\ —
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= 舉重選手 =
顧名思義,超會舉的啦,可以適應各種體重的女生,
二女一男玩3P的時候,可以用一根超長雙頭龍按摩棒將女生串在兩端,
然後就舉起來了。
(前提是雙頭龍不會斷。)
女r2═══Sr女
\男/
█
< >
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= 網球選手 =
網球選手除了慣用的那隻手會很粗以外,最大的特點是很會叫,
每次使力都要叫,叫得宏亮、叫得淒厲、叫得撼動人心,
應該是因為這樣叫,施力的時候會比較順吧。
(喜歡聽男生叫的女生一定要找網球選手,叫豪大聲啊!)
喝欸!喝阿!喝欸!喝阿!
痾~啊~痾~啊~
討厭♥ /
你好會叫♥ 男
\ _█>
女r2 ||
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= 游泳選手 =
游泳選手在水裡面是最厲害的,
當女生不小心大量潮吹的時候,游泳選手可以很快地游回來,
不會被沖個老遠,造成雙方掃興。
(自由式選手比較快返回,蛙式游比較久不怕沖很遠,仰式妳會不知道他在悠哉三小。)
我...
潮吹了!
\ 我馬上游回去!
(嘩啦啦) <女> / (嘩啦啦)
█ 男▃∠ ~
███████████████████████████████████████
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= 高爾夫球選手 =
跟棒球選手一樣,最重要的就是那些高爾夫球杆,
可以依照需求選擇木製、金屬製或特殊桿,
女生想用切的可以用P桿,下面沙子很多可以用S桿,
各種桿頭形狀可攻略各式各樣的G點位置。
(嫌高爾夫球桿太細?球桿全套有13支呢,不要擔心。)
攻略G點用這端
↘
██
平常用這端 ██▌
↙ ██▌
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= 體操選手 =
體操選手對於旋轉一事非常在行,當女生腿開開屁股朝上的時候,
地板操選手可以在單腳高速旋轉十幾圈,用腳服侍女生,
鞍馬選手可以使出湯馬士回旋,插入後可在女生雙腿上跨來跨去、轉來轉去,
雙環選手在天花板綁兩條繩子,就可以不接觸女生身體又使出旋轉性愛體位。
(各種力與美的結合,超讚!)
| |
| |
超會跨來跨去 | |
↘ | |
超會單腳旋轉 男 ♂_男_♂
↘ ╴█\ ╴█╴
(男) ▃▃▃▃▃▃ ↖
█ ██████ 超會掛在那邊
「 | ◤ ◥
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接下來,要講最厲害最強大的運動員了。
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準備好了嗎?
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= 摔角選手 = ▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
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WWE冠軍 「江 西那」
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「超~~~~~日衝擊」!!!! (回音) (回音)
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應該沒有運動員比他媽的WWE摔角手厲害了吧?
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再見
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那是要說給任何
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擋在江西那前的人的!
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「超~~~~~日衝擊」!!!! (回音) (回音)
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畫完這篇,應該會很多人問我,那手球呢?巧孤球呢?短跑選手呢?blabla.....
我應該會被問到壞掉。
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甚至,會有人說:「怎麼不畫軍隊呢?軍人也很多種類啊!」
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這個嘛.........
我就有梗了!
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因為我們正有一位前海陸隊員
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而他正是江西那啦!!!!!
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超~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (回音) (回音)
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~~~~~~~日衝擊啦 (回音) (回音)
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THE END
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看不懂江西那梗的請看這段
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_8eiOGvbmw
--
https://www.facebook.com/pttzoeforce
Summerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Slam~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
--
: 看到最近一些關於運動員能力如何的討論,
: 作為一個西斯潛水鄉民忍不住手癢獻出了首PO。
: 我是一個運動員,因為只喜歡女生,沒跟男生做過XD,
我曾經也是個運動員(笑),
不同種類的運動員,是會有不一樣的優點的。
以下請開電腦按空白鍵觀賞,手機請用全板模式/整頁模式。
(用電腦看比較不會失真,手機app會有圖歪掉或顏色跑掉的問題。)
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= 馬拉松選手 =
能連續跑42.195公里的體力不是蓋的,體力超好,
如果懶較也能撐這麼久的話,做愛基本兩小時起跳沒問題。
(跑步可以跑兩小時但是懶較只有兩秒鐘,就........就算了.......)
吸、吸、呼~
吸、吸、呼~
/
可以不要連做愛都控制呼吸嗎? 男
\ _█>
女r2 ||
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= 足球選手 =
除了馬拉松以外,足球也是個全場跑體力要很好的運動,
另一個優點是他們的腳很厲害,可能比手還要靈巧,
在腳交這一方面可以帶來很大的快感。
(腳比手要粗糙,喜歡摩擦係數高一點的女生會喜歡腳交。)
如何?
好棒! 腳是不是更棒?
不但會用手, /
還會用腳.... 男
\ ︿█>
女r2 |
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= 排球選手 =
一個排球隊裡面有分主攻手、快攻手、舉球員、自由球員,厲害的地方不一樣,
主攻手與快攻手手掌超夠力的,巴奶或巴屁股都可以打到熱辣辣,超級過癮,
舉球員的雙手靈活、有技巧又柔軟,摸奶、揉奶、搓奶很有一套,
自由球員很會飛撲接球,女生隨便亂跳下床都可以接得到,但跟做愛無關。
(最好是整隊收編,這樣才能享受各種奇才。)
很會巴 ●
↘
<攻/ ∥ 雜魚
█ ∥ ↙
)) [舉]∥ 接 自 ←很會接
█ ∥ // //
很會揉→ || ∥ << <<
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= 籃球選手 =
打籃球的都很愛射,不管是投籃、還是丟垃圾,
看到框或洞就要投一下,做愛當然也會挑戰三分線中出。
(厲害一點的神射手射出去就轉身歡呼、射後不理,有點煩。)
. .
. . 拎杯咖哩!
. . /
菌~~~! . . 男 — \男/
\ . ._█> — █
女r2 \\ — /|
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= 棒球選手 =
棒球選手最棒的就是他家裡會有很多支球棒,32吋、33吋、33.5吋、34吋各種長度,
平常用木棒,夏天天氣比較熱,可以改用鋁棒比較清涼,
再依照自己的喜好選擇用棒頭還是棒尾。
(棒球選手最重要的就是他的球棒!不是選手本身。)
享受擴張感用這端
按摩G點用這端 ↘
↙
█ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█████████████
██████████████████████████████████
█ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█████████████
(用手機看,這支球棒可能會破圖。)
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= 標槍選手 =
沒什麼優點,就是按摩棒丟超遠超準的。
(缺點是需要空間助跑,很少人家裡這麼大。)
要丟了要丟了!
▁ /
來吧! \男」—
\ █ —
女r2 <\ —
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= 舉重選手 =
顧名思義,超會舉的啦,可以適應各種體重的女生,
二女一男玩3P的時候,可以用一根超長雙頭龍按摩棒將女生串在兩端,
然後就舉起來了。
(前提是雙頭龍不會斷。)
女r2═══Sr女
\男/
█
< >
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= 網球選手 =
網球選手除了慣用的那隻手會很粗以外,最大的特點是很會叫,
每次使力都要叫,叫得宏亮、叫得淒厲、叫得撼動人心,
應該是因為這樣叫,施力的時候會比較順吧。
(喜歡聽男生叫的女生一定要找網球選手,叫豪大聲啊!)
喝欸!喝阿!喝欸!喝阿!
痾~啊~痾~啊~
討厭♥ /
你好會叫♥ 男
\ _█>
女r2 ||
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= 游泳選手 =
游泳選手在水裡面是最厲害的,
當女生不小心大量潮吹的時候,游泳選手可以很快地游回來,
不會被沖個老遠,造成雙方掃興。
(自由式選手比較快返回,蛙式游比較久不怕沖很遠,仰式妳會不知道他在悠哉三小。)
我...
潮吹了!
\ 我馬上游回去!
(嘩啦啦) <女> / (嘩啦啦)
█ 男▃∠ ~
███████████████████████████████████████
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= 高爾夫球選手 =
跟棒球選手一樣,最重要的就是那些高爾夫球杆,
可以依照需求選擇木製、金屬製或特殊桿,
女生想用切的可以用P桿,下面沙子很多可以用S桿,
各種桿頭形狀可攻略各式各樣的G點位置。
(嫌高爾夫球桿太細?球桿全套有13支呢,不要擔心。)
攻略G點用這端
↘
██
平常用這端 ██▌
↙ ██▌
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
= 體操選手 =
體操選手對於旋轉一事非常在行,當女生腿開開屁股朝上的時候,
地板操選手可以在單腳高速旋轉十幾圈,用腳服侍女生,
鞍馬選手可以使出湯馬士回旋,插入後可在女生雙腿上跨來跨去、轉來轉去,
雙環選手在天花板綁兩條繩子,就可以不接觸女生身體又使出旋轉性愛體位。
(各種力與美的結合,超讚!)
| |
| |
超會跨來跨去 | |
↘ | |
超會單腳旋轉 男 ♂_男_♂
↘ ╴█\ ╴█╴
(男) ▃▃▃▃▃▃ ↖
█ ██████ 超會掛在那邊
「 | ◤ ◥
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接下來,要講最厲害最強大的運動員了。
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準備好了嗎?
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▄▄▄▄▄▄
= 摔角選手 = ▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄
那就是....... ▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
WWE冠軍 「江 西那」
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▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ (應該是夏日衝擊)
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
「超~~~~~日衝擊」!!!! (回音) (回音)
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應該沒有運動員比他媽的WWE摔角手厲害了吧?
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再見
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那是要說給任何
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▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
擋在江西那前的人的!
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▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
「超~~~~~日衝擊」!!!! (回音) (回音)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.....................
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畫完這篇,應該會很多人問我,那手球呢?巧孤球呢?短跑選手呢?blabla.....
我應該會被問到壞掉。
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
甚至,會有人說:「怎麼不畫軍隊呢?軍人也很多種類啊!」
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這個嘛.........
我就有梗了!
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因為我們正有一位前海陸隊員
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▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
而他正是江西那啦!!!!!
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▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
超~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (回音) (回音)
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▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄ 搭 搭搭 搭~
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
~~~~~~~日衝擊啦 (回音) (回音)
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THE END
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看不懂江西那梗的請看這段
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_8eiOGvbmw
--
https://www.facebook.com/pttzoeforce
Summerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Slam~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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