衛 生 紙 - 成人話題討論

By Lauren
at 2014-12-17T00:02
at 2014-12-17T00:02
Table of Contents
各位30cm的鄉民安安!我是西斯變態內褲大魔王!
身為全國最大的嗜睡症患者聚集地
本魯也是嗜睡症的串者之一
昨天做了一個夢,夢境是這樣的
---------------------------------------
夢中主角是我朋友
情景是大三的那一年
因為大三課業比較少,想晚上打工賺點零用錢
從學校回家的路途,有一間咖啡店
玻璃貼著徵晚班工讀生
因為很順路,所以我朋友就寫好履歷進去應徵
這間咖啡店是私人的,非連鎖
因為店裡較忙的時段是6點過後
所以才想徵一名晚班工讀生來幫忙
面試的是店長
目測已過30,妝有點濃
雖然不知道卸妝會不會嚇死人
但起碼化完妝是正妹就是了
可能我朋友看起來很斯文,談吐很有禮貌
看起來就一副(假)文青樣
所以很快就錄取了
員工就
店長(屁股很翹,每次看到她穿低腰褲不小心露出內褲就IN惹!)
正職JJ(臉普普,但身材很好,前凸後翹)
假日工讀生(正妹臉,但身材是乾巴巴的紙片人)
老闆跟店長是兄妹,只出錢其餘都交給店長處理
我朋友只看過老闆兩次面而已
這裡先說一下我朋友
我朋友看起來雖然很斯文
但他是個不折不扣的大變態啊!
他有一個不為人知的怪癖
就是很喜歡聞女生的分泌物、尿騷味
幹!聽說他女友去洗澡時
他就會偷偷的去拿他女友剛脫下來內褲
拿來聞跟舔!
幹!真是有夠變態!
剛上班的前半個月都在學習、適應環境
隨著工作一天比一天熟練
我朋友的淫魂也逐漸覺醒
店裡有兩間廁所
一間在外面,給客人使用的
一間在內部,給員工使用的
看到這裡,各位鄉民一定以為我朋友去裝針孔
NONONO...我朋友雖然變態
但他的理智很清楚
決不會去幹會上新聞的蠢事
基本上,店長只有剛開始新人對工作、環境不熟悉
才會安排新人工作的流程
之後熟了要怎麼安排隨便你,她不會干涉
去店裡有一件事要做的就是垃圾打包
因為等等垃圾車會來
雖然正職JJ說內、外廁所可以等快滿了再打包沒關係
但我朋友不管內、外廁所的垃圾有沒有滿
一定會一起打包拿去倒
店長跟正職JJ都覺得我朋友工作很認真
哈~這當然是有目的
把廁所的垃圾清空
就是為了確認接下的衛生紙都是本人擦過的!
客人用的廁所我朋友是直接放棄
雖然常常有正妹來店裡
很想去廁所幹她剛擦過的衛生紙
但來店裡的還有阿桑
再加上有員工廁所不用跑去用客人的廁所
看起來就怪怪的吧!?
所以只能忍痛放棄了吧
所以目標就是員工廁所
而且員工廁所很單純
會用到衛生紙的就店長、正職JJ兩人(除非我朋友當天拉屎啦)
我朋友會先探測衛生紙是誰的
如何分辨?
很簡單,等店長或正職JJ上廁所後
等一段時間再進去廁所看一下衛生紙
因為每個人拿衛生紙擦都有不同習慣
像店長就是先把衛生紙摺好,擦完再摺對半丟到垃圾桶
正職JJ是擦完揉成一團丟到垃圾桶
假日工讀生是抽起來擦完直接丟到垃圾桶
但基本上同事中有龍才有必要分啦
店長、正職JJ、假日工讀生擦過的衛生紙
我朋友是全部打包啦!
接著就是等驗收甜美果實了!
正職JJ會先下班,因為她家有點遠
店長怕她太晚回去危險
所以收尾就我朋友跟店長
收到快完的時候
店長會去處理帳務、訂貨那些事
剩下的就我朋友收
我朋友會把清潔廁所排在快下班前
因為這時候店長都在忙她的事
所以根本不會理我朋友在幹嘛
幹完衛生紙就可以回家馬上品嚐啦!
通常垃圾桶場景是這樣
http://ppt.cc/J6qI
當然,因為才兩個人使用
量沒這麼多啦!
衛生紙上面會有黃黃的尿垢
http://ppt.cc/l3U3
聞起來就香香的尿騷味
尤其是店長的,尿騷味比較濃
聞一下就IN惹!
正職JJ跟假日工讀生聞起來就淡淡的
假日工讀生擦過的衛生紙
尿垢痕跡、顏色都比較淺
有時候還能挖到寶
就是擦過分泌物的
http://ppt.cc/inOs
幹!聞起來騷味十足,極品!
有時候看到剛擦過還濕濕黏黏的
這時候我朋友會假裝拉屎
因為要趕快品嚐舔一舔
才不會浪費如此極品!
當然,有時會遇到地雷
像拉屎過的,還有每月必備的護墊
雖然我朋友從小看到血就會有點頭暈的
但看到護墊還是要拿起來看一下
雖然每次頭都好暈
但為了挖到夢幻逸品
http://ppt.cc/QNFH
就是排卵期,分泌物量太多所以用護墊
能挖到夢幻逸品,暈這麼多次也值得啦!
各位鄉民應該會有疑惑
幹完衛生紙是直接放口袋嗎?
NONONO...
我朋友去店裡,一定會隨身帶小筆記
並用夾鏈袋封起來
因為這有一個非常好的理由
“怕洗杯、盤的時候弄濕筆記本,所以才用夾鏈袋封起來”
幹!這當然是嚎洨的!
這只是障眼法
這是為了最後驗收果實
把筆記本拿出來,把衛生紙放進夾鏈袋封存味道
而且清完廁所、打包完圾垃
跟店長打一下招呼就可以下班啦
回家就可以開始意淫慢慢享受啦!
而且都是本人擦過,原汁原味的!
雖然如今再經過,店已經收起來了
但每次看到那舊舊還沒拆掉的招牌
就會想起這美好的回憶!
夢到這裡,突然夢景一轉
我夢到我在上屁踢踢
我也不知道發生了什麼事?
只看到推文都是什麼
幹!哩金變態!
幹!我快吐了!
幹!快叫警察!
類似這樣
http://ppt.cc/XWVl
---------------------------------------
然後我打了個噴嚏醒了
以上都是夢到的
如有雷同,一定是巧合啦!
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