花木蘭 - 成人話題討論

By Annie
at 2016-01-31T20:52

Table of Contents

從前從前

在一個平靜安祥的小村落裡

住著一對安逸悠閒的農村人家

某天

信鴿遠方至此

將一封神聖且貴重的書信交給這戶人家

男子接過信件

細心拆封

逐一品嚐信件內行行條理的字跡

信的內容是這麼寫的

『寄了~~~ 回我求單挑』

「爸爸，信上面說什麼阿～～」　　女兒雙手拖著腮在一旁問著

「嗯...是徵兵令呢......」　　男子回答

男子已年邁多時　且患有勃起症候群

實在不方便被徵召

女兒了解父親的病情

打定主義要盡一份孝心

於是瞞著父親

偷偷變裝

決定代父從軍

「喂！你是誰，幹什麼來著」　　兵營門口的衛兵對著前方的女子問道

「我叫花木蘭！收到徵兵令前來徵召！」　　女子回答著

衛兵上下打量了木蘭

木蘭雖然是女兒身

但身擁185cm 95kg的壯碩身材

結實的二頭肌及斜前肌

豐碩的小腿肌跟三角肌

左手叼著剛點燃的七星淡菸

右臉上的刀疤更是不在話下

看的衛兵實在是深感恐懼

「好了好了～你這一身身材一看就當兵的料～趕緊進去吧。」　　衛兵說著

木蘭進入隊伍後立正站好著

「聽好！這次徵召你們的目的是要前往北方討伐野豬騎士們！」　

站在最前方的李翔將軍大喊著

「哦哦哦哦！！！！！！！」　眾人回應著

「我們明天一早就出發，今晚早些休息。」　　李翔將軍再次喝著

看見了前方帥氣的將軍　　李翔

還有一群精銳且英勇的士兵們

木蘭看的真是可興可奮

口水流滿地

淫水也濕了滿地

沒想到當兵有如此福利真是心滿意足

而且還可以去討伐野豬騎士

野豬騎士來囉～～～～～～～～～～～

夜晚就寢時

躺在床上的木蘭輾轉難眠　興奮難耐

周遭都是些壯碩的帥哥們

害的木蘭床單已經濕了

木蘭拿出手機

上了熟悉的西斯板想跟大家分享如此喜悅

標題：小妹正在當兵　旁邊都帥哥害我濕濕的　怎麼辦

發完文馬上就被噓到XX

噓:甲甲
噓:滾回甲板好嗎
噓:別來反串
噓:借轉甲板

諸如此類的留言實在是讓木蘭心痛

難道是發文沒附張奶圖才會被噓嗎

就在此時

手機傳來《您有新信件》

木蘭開心至極的點開了站內信

「嗨～我也在當兵唷～要不要單挑呀～我們約後棟哨塔第五顆柳樹下等」　

信的內容這麼寫

木蘭很開心

下了床前往約定的目的地前進

柳樹下站著一名高大壯碩的男子

聞風飄逸威震四方

木蘭悄悄的向柳樹下的男子前進

男子向木蘭打招呼

木蘭瞬間濕了

「是李翔...是李翔將軍耶」　木蘭在心裡興奮的想著

沒想到將軍也會約炮

木蘭害羞著低下頭

輕聲問道

"你....你什麼時候發現我是女生的阿....?"

李翔 : "啥小　原來妳是女的喔"

李翔將軍臉瞬間垮掉

轉身頭也不回的離去

留下木蘭失望又濕濕的穴

暗自啜泣

後人稱此為五柳先濕

隔日一早

準備討伐野豬騎士的部隊們

在叢林間慢步前進

深怕誤入敵方前線陣營

木蘭緊緊跟隨在後

誓言一定要拿下野豬騎士的首級

將這個部落衝突告一段落

轉眼間

部隊周遭黑影重重

滿滿的野豬騎士們包圍了李翔軍隊

彷彿已等李翔軍隊的到來許久

雙方氣氛感覺一觸即發

但說時遲那時快

雙方人馬已拔刀相見

互不相讓

一陣交纏之戰

李翔不慎跌落馬

敵方主將直接壓制在李翔身上

李翔一臉猙獰的對著敵方主將怒盯著

李翔 : "哼，太郎....沒想到多年不見，你已經變成野豬騎士首領了"

豬太郎 : "噗自從我騎了野豬以後考試都考一百分呢噗"

敵方的人數實在多到難以抗衡

野豬們源源不絕的從叢林鑽出

李翔軍隊完全占居下風

木蘭見狀不對

在這麼下去大家就要被野豬騎士騎了

必須拿出獨門絕學扭轉乾坤

木蘭把上衣完全脫去

展現出傲人登峰的造極身材

「哇！！！！」　所有士兵們看的入神

李翔見到木蘭的胸部

馬上勃起

「這...這難道是傳說中的 TMD-426型移動式核彈裝置?」李翔驚訝的問著

「沒錯！簡稱　阿姆斯特朗旋風噴射阿姆斯特朗砲　」　木蘭回答著

所有人退後　讓出了空間可以架設那對胸部砲彈

倒數

3

2

1

眾人屏息

發射

一道毀滅性的噴射白光朝天邊劃過

劃破了叢林間的紛紛擾擾糾糾葛葛

野豬騎士們瞬間被殲滅

「噗~~好討厭的感覺呀~~噗」　豬太郎被擊飛　　消失在鏡頭的另一端

就這樣

李翔軍隊打贏了這場戰爭

戰役後

將花木蘭封為戰爭女神

某遊戲也將戰爭女神做為紀念造型

已示對木蘭的尊敬跟緬懷

後人也將這個毀滅性的武器稱做木蘭飛彈

更有科學家想要把這歷史上的傳說武器再現江湖

李翔也向木蘭提親

入贅到花家

跟木蘭還有花爸過著幸福快樂的日子

至於之後李翔的老二被開發成 TMD-426s毀滅性噴射導彈

又是另外一個故事了

--

Tags: 帥哥

All Comments

By Annie
at 2016-02-03T11:47

廢到笑XDD

By Kama
at 2016-02-06T02:43

我看了3洨

By Oscar
at 2016-02-08T17:39

覺得前面比較好笑XD 但還是想看續集(敲碗

By Tracy
at 2016-02-11T08:34

這啥小XD

By David
at 2016-02-13T23:30

留下木蘭失望又溼溼的穴XDD

By Anonymous
at 2016-02-16T14:26

啥小原來你是女的喔那邊笑死哈哈哈
我都抽白大衛

By Christine
at 2016-02-19T05:21

那這樣是不是只能用一次？

By George
at 2016-02-21T20:17

笑到不行XDD

By Charlie
at 2016-02-24T11:13

185/95 是不是有點太壯ㄖ!!!!!

By Thomas
at 2016-02-27T02:09

拉克斯

By Barb Cronin
at 2016-02-29T17:04

幹我看了三小哈哈哈哈哈野豬騎士跟豬太郎噗

By Zanna
at 2016-03-03T08:00

XDDDDDDDD廢到笑

By Gary
at 2016-03-05T22:56

咖咖..廢到爆XD

By Dorothy
at 2016-03-08T13:51

有夠廢XDDDDDDD

By Eden
at 2016-03-11T04:47

TMD-426型移動式核彈裝置

By Necoo
at 2016-03-13T19:43

簡稱阿姆斯特朗旋風噴射阿姆斯特朗砲
簡稱比原名還長是哪招XD

By Kama
at 2016-03-16T10:38

我到底看了什麼！廢到笑了

By Madame
at 2016-03-19T01:34

By Leila
at 2016-03-21T16:30

工三小 XDDDD

By Yedda
at 2016-03-24T07:25

五柳先濕這梗哈哈哈哈

By Jessica
at 2016-03-26T22:21

靠北超廢XDDDDDD

By Bethany
at 2016-03-29T13:17

原來你是女的噢是甲甲嘛哈哈

By Poppy
at 2016-04-01T04:12

廢到笑

By Gary
at 2016-04-03T19:08

笑惹

By Daniel
at 2016-04-06T10:04

有笑有推

By Puput
at 2016-04-09T00:59

我到底看了三小...

By Zora
at 2016-04-11T15:55

超廢XDDD

By Todd Johnson
at 2016-04-14T06:51

有笑有推

By Christine
at 2016-04-16T21:47

超廢哈哈

By Olga
at 2016-04-19T12:42

XDDDDDDDDDD 白痴

By Linda
at 2016-04-22T03:38

TMD-426 XDDDDDDDD

By Barb Cronin
at 2016-04-24T18:34

毀滅性的噴射白光是青眼白龍是吧

By Robert
at 2016-04-27T09:29

前半段比較好笑XDDDDD

By Kumar
at 2016-04-30T00:25

廢到笑

By Carol
at 2016-05-02T15:21

三小XD

By Quintina
at 2016-05-05T06:16

我到底看了三小...

By Valerie
at 2016-05-07T21:12

不推不行

By Ophelia
at 2016-05-10T12:08

五柳先師這戳到我哈哈

By Caroline
at 2016-05-13T03:03

幹這太好笑了

By Sandy
at 2016-05-15T17:59

幹好笑XDDD

By Suhail Hany
at 2016-05-18T08:55

好笑

By Callum
at 2016-05-20T23:50

野豬騎士來囉~~~~

By Suhail Hany
at 2016-05-23T14:46

淦有夠廢我喜歡

By Charlotte
at 2016-05-26T05:42

By Sarah
at 2016-05-28T20:37

好廢xD

By Ida
at 2016-05-31T11:33

XDDDD

By Doris
at 2016-06-03T02:29

廢到笑XDDDDDD

By Linda
at 2016-06-05T17:24

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Irma
at 2016-06-08T08:20

滿分XDDDD

By Tristan Cohan
at 2016-06-10T23:16

靠背我媽為何問我跪在螢幕前

By Olive
at 2016-06-13T14:12

推

By Vanessa
at 2016-06-16T05:07

被感動到給推

By Margaret
at 2016-06-18T20:03

重點是跟花爸rrr

By George
at 2016-06-21T10:59

這殺小XDDD

By Jacob
at 2016-06-24T01:54

XDDDD

By Kama
at 2016-06-26T16:50

幹花爸的菊花

By Hazel
at 2016-06-29T07:46

超廢XDDD

By Tom
at 2016-07-01T22:41

XDDDDD

By Ula
at 2016-07-04T13:37

五柳先濕 XD

By Irma
at 2016-07-07T04:33

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPkqtboFFYI

By Valerie
at 2016-07-09T19:28

廢到笑了XDD

By Hedda
at 2016-07-12T10:24

崩壞了

By Joseph
at 2016-07-15T01:20

靠北哈哈哈哈哈

By Carol
at 2016-07-17T16:15

放個寒假就這樣

By Rebecca
at 2016-07-20T07:11

跟花爸哈

By Rebecca
at 2016-07-22T22:07

有笑有推

By Necoo
at 2016-07-25T13:02

三小XDDDDDDDDD

By Megan
at 2016-07-28T03:58

哈哈哈哈撒毀啦

By Annie
at 2016-07-30T18:54

豬太郎 XDDD

By Yuri
at 2016-08-02T09:50

.....

By Doris
at 2016-08-05T00:45

.............

By Barb Cronin
at 2016-08-07T15:41

廢到笑

By Charlotte
at 2016-08-10T06:37

.......

By David
at 2016-08-12T21:32

...

By Ethan
at 2016-08-15T12:28

笑了XDDDDD

By Ingrid
at 2016-08-18T03:24

啥小讓我笑出來哈哈哈

By Lily
at 2016-08-20T18:19

她發的文我怎麼沒跟到

By Delia
at 2016-08-23T09:15

爽啦

By Lucy
at 2016-08-26T00:11

廢到笑死

By Eartha
at 2016-08-28T15:06

突然想念猜哥

By Belly
at 2016-08-31T06:02

瞎爆了哈哈

By Candice
at 2016-09-02T20:58

我到底他媽看了什麼

By Elizabeth
at 2016-09-05T11:53

這篇會爆

By Xanthe
at 2016-09-08T02:49

靠腰啊這殺洨

By Eden
at 2016-09-10T17:45

他媽的廢到害我一直笑XDDDDD

By Hedy
at 2016-09-13T08:40

甲甲李翔為什麼會去提親R

By Jacky
at 2016-09-15T23:36

肛他爸啊

By John
at 2016-09-18T14:32

靠北不要鬧了好不好XD

By Hedwig
at 2016-09-21T05:28

XDDDDD

By Frederic
at 2016-09-23T20:23

廢到哭爸，跟野豬騎士結合得唯妙唯肖XDDD

By Michael
at 2016-09-26T11:19

會爆

By Jake
at 2016-09-29T02:15

靠背這三小

By Freda
at 2016-10-01T17:10

哈哈哈哈哈

By Noah
at 2016-10-04T08:06

野豬騎士來喔～～～～～

By Erin
at 2016-10-06T23:02

戰爭女神，神魔的雅典娜喔

By Heather
at 2016-10-09T13:57

野豬騎士來嚕~~

By Mia
at 2016-10-12T04:53

這到底是三小

By Elizabeth
at 2016-10-14T19:49

超廢XDDDDD廢到笑

By William
at 2016-10-17T10:44

野豬騎士安安

By Damian
at 2016-10-20T01:40

野豬騎士來喔XD

By Annie
at 2016-10-22T16:36

豬太郎XDDDD

By Margaret
at 2016-10-25T07:31

幹太神惹

By Thomas
at 2016-10-27T22:27

XDDDD

By Linda
at 2016-10-30T13:23

木蘭無長胸(兄)吧

By Carolina Franco
at 2016-11-02T04:18

不好笑

By Margaret
at 2016-11-04T19:14

那個「哇！！！！」超有聲音XDDDDD

By Cara
at 2016-11-07T10:10

這篇廢到有剩XD

By Iris
at 2016-11-10T01:05

幹，我以為首領會拿著杯紅酒走出乃，結果竟然是豬太郎 Orz

By Leila
at 2016-11-12T16:01

幹噗是殺小哈哈哈哈

By Mary
at 2016-11-15T06:57

By Cara
at 2016-11-17T21:53

哈哈哈哈

By Ophelia
at 2016-11-20T12:48

推

By Elvira
at 2016-11-23T03:44

有夠廢XD

By Dora
at 2016-11-25T18:40

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

By Rosalind
at 2016-11-28T09:35

三小XD

By Elvira
at 2016-12-01T00:31

推推

By Oscar
at 2016-12-03T15:27

XDDDD

By Ina
at 2016-12-06T06:22

這....

By Zora
at 2016-12-08T21:18

廢到笑XDDDDDDD

By Linda
at 2016-12-11T12:14

廢死了XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Mary
at 2016-12-14T03:09

哈哈，超廢的！不過我愛！

By Regina
at 2016-12-16T18:05

野豬騎士來哦~~~~

By Gilbert
at 2016-12-19T09:01

僕三小哈哈哈

By James
at 2016-12-21T23:56

。。。。

By Isla
at 2016-12-24T14:52

哈哈哈哈哈哈笑死

By Emma
at 2016-12-27T05:48

哈哈哈哈哈哈幹我看了什麼

By Suhail Hany
at 2016-12-29T20:43

................

By Joe
at 2017-01-01T11:39

XDDDD

By Oliver
at 2017-01-04T02:35

很有xD

By Catherine
at 2017-01-06T17:31

超好笑哈哈哈哈啥小原來你是女的喔XDD

By Eden
at 2017-01-09T08:26

很屌

By Brianna
at 2017-01-11T23:22

我看了什麼...

By Elizabeth
at 2017-01-14T14:18

廢到笑哈哈哈哈哈

By Heather
at 2017-01-17T05:13

太好笑......

By Sarah
at 2017-01-19T20:09

廢到炸xD

By Doris
at 2017-01-22T11:05

TMD-426XDDDDDDD

By Agatha
at 2017-01-25T02:00

XDDD

By Agnes
at 2017-01-27T16:56

笑到崩潰

By Iris
at 2017-01-30T07:52

有才

By Jack
at 2017-02-01T22:47

笑噴哈哈哈

By Eden
at 2017-02-04T13:43

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Todd Johnson
at 2017-02-07T04:39

XDD

By Enid
at 2017-02-09T19:34

我看了三小

By Elvira
at 2017-02-12T10:30

廢到笑出來

By Puput
at 2017-02-15T01:26

哈哈哈

By Yedda
at 2017-02-17T16:21

推五柳先濕

By Bennie
at 2017-02-20T07:17

XDDDD

By Eden
at 2017-02-22T22:13

還是很好笑XD戰爭女神

By Tristan Cohan
at 2017-02-25T13:09

超廢！

By Genevieve
at 2017-02-28T04:04

有笑有推XDD

By James
at 2017-03-02T19:00

完蛋了每個梗都看懂了

By Madame
at 2017-03-05T09:56

猜哥快出來對死他！！

By Una
at 2017-03-08T00:51

拿出手機你就贏了

By Ingrid
at 2017-03-10T15:47

想念猜哥

By Olga
at 2017-03-13T06:43

By Tom
at 2017-03-15T21:38

By Caitlin
at 2017-03-18T12:34

前面超好笑XDDD

By Quanna
at 2017-03-21T03:30

好廢

By Emma
at 2017-03-23T18:25

是野豬騎士來喔不是來囉怎麼老是弄錯都有字幕的說

By Damian
at 2017-03-26T09:21

Pekka ?

By Isabella
at 2017-03-29T00:17

By Candice
at 2017-03-31T15:12

什麼鬼啊XDDD

By Carol
at 2017-04-03T06:08

將軍才是甲甲吧

By Frederica
at 2017-04-05T21:04

我看了3洨……

By Valerie
at 2017-04-08T11:59

哈哈哈哈

By Kelly
at 2017-04-11T02:55

hahahahahaha，幹，笑死我啦，這年輕人廢文太好笑了

By Barb Cronin
at 2017-04-13T17:51

By Jessica
at 2017-04-16T08:46

笑死

By Gary
at 2017-04-18T23:42

呃…靠這什麼

By Thomas
at 2017-04-21T14:38

靠北為什麼有一些橋段我會想烏龍派出所的小纏XD

By Hedy
at 2017-04-24T05:34

我看了甚麼東西XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Olive
at 2017-04-26T20:29

靠北XD

By Rae
at 2017-04-29T11:25

XDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Dora
at 2017-05-02T02:21

真的超廢的XD

By Genevieve
at 2017-05-04T17:16

有笑有推

By Queena
at 2017-05-07T08:12

我看了三小？

By Tristan Cohan
at 2017-05-09T23:08

XDDD

By Jacob
at 2017-05-12T14:03

另一個故事快發XD

By Steve
at 2017-05-15T04:59

太猛了

By Olivia
at 2017-05-17T19:55

推

By Anonymous
at 2017-05-20T10:50

廢到爆了XDD

By Frederic
at 2017-05-23T01:46

哈哈哈哈哈

By Doris
at 2017-05-25T16:42

神串留名

By George
at 2017-05-28T07:37

靠超廢笑死XDDDDDD

By Ophelia
at 2017-05-30T22:33

廢到笑xD

By Joe
at 2017-06-02T13:29

推簡稱比原名還長

By Cara
at 2017-06-05T04:24

不好笑

By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2017-06-07T19:20

李翔XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Caroline
at 2017-06-10T10:16

這三小啊xDD

By Necoo
at 2017-06-13T01:12

推

By Emma
at 2017-06-15T16:07

哈哈有好笑……

By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2017-06-18T07:03

廢到笑 XD

By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2017-06-20T21:59

五柳先濕超好笑XDD

By Lucy
at 2017-06-23T12:54

廢到笑xd

By Anonymous
at 2017-06-26T03:50

尚可

By Yuri
at 2017-06-28T18:46

你繼續掰沒關係

By Lauren
at 2017-07-01T09:41

這太好笑了XD

By Delia
at 2017-07-04T00:37

有豪洨有推哈哈哈

By Kyle
at 2017-07-06T15:33

哈哈哈哈哈

By Yuri
at 2017-07-09T06:28

...

By Jacky
at 2017-07-11T21:24

推

By David
at 2017-07-14T12:20

廢爆

By Lucy
at 2017-07-17T03:15

廢文

By Suhail Hany
at 2017-07-19T18:11

求續集

By Bethany
at 2017-07-22T09:07

神廢

By Megan
at 2017-07-25T00:02

科幻作品

By Mason
at 2017-07-27T14:58

我到底看了什麼

By Hamiltion
at 2017-07-30T05:54

推你有濠洨到

By Edwina
at 2017-08-01T20:50

有糾糾葛葛這種用法=_=

By Zora
at 2017-08-04T11:45

仨小啦XDDDD

By Kelly
at 2017-08-07T02:41

夠廢給推

By Isabella
at 2017-08-09T17:37

By Callum
at 2017-08-12T08:32

有夠號小

By Carol
at 2017-08-14T23:28

廢到哭

By Carol
at 2017-08-17T14:24

U質

By Isabella
at 2017-08-20T05:19

為什麼女兒會知道爸爸勃起症候群(驚

By Michael
at 2017-08-22T20:15

求續集((敲碗

By Mason
at 2017-08-25T11:11

XDD

By Donna
at 2017-08-28T02:06

我看了三小XDDD

By Callum
at 2017-08-30T17:02

廢到笑給推

By Joe
at 2017-09-02T07:58

還在野豬，早就氣球了

By John
at 2017-09-04T22:53

哈哈

By Jessica
at 2017-09-07T13:49

三小哈哈哈哈

By George
at 2017-09-10T04:45

廢到笑

By Anthony
at 2017-09-12T19:40

廢到0分

By Carol
at 2017-09-15T10:36

神

By Hedy
at 2017-09-18T01:32

By Tracy
at 2017-09-20T16:27

廢到笑啊XDDD

By Tracy
at 2017-09-23T07:23

睡前讓我看了啥………

By Connor
at 2017-09-25T22:19

這次不好笑..

By Edward Lewis
at 2017-09-28T13:15

幹哪有這麼長的簡稱啊XDD

By Hazel
at 2017-10-01T04:10

幹大雜燴欸

By Elvira
at 2017-10-03T19:06

222222222

By Agatha
at 2017-10-06T10:02

有笑給推

By Oscar
at 2017-10-09T00:57

淦哈哈哈哈

By Mary
at 2017-10-11T15:53

By Faithe
at 2017-10-14T06:49

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈好好笑

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