約泡信的起手式? - 成人話題討論

By Emily
at 2017-06-01T14:30
at 2017-06-01T14:30
Table of Contents
我的賤民工作終於告一段落!呼~
關於板上最近一直討論的站內信問題
讓我真的看的好手癢啊
畢竟自從三月開始可以發文以來,
我的站內也超過了一千多封(也有一些是寄出的備忘錄
每次當“你有新信件”的通知出現時 丹藍也是會小鹿亂撞
但常常一打開來
總有一種很吸濕速乾的效果
哀哀
可是看到眾多的海綿體生物
在廣闊的信海與無際的性海中浮沈
我真的很想借里長的大聲公來呼籲一下
站內信真的可以好好加油一下的好嗎!
於是我拿最近爆掉的一篇“約炮?固炮”做了實驗。
大約前前後後收到了一百多封信。
這並不是最高紀錄,上次爆掉的什麼”蕩婦萬歲“的,有到兩百多封
但是因為實在太多了,超過我負載量,就直接當機沒回惹orz
(可見要寄站內信,找爆掉的貼文 機率相對小,此其一)
是這樣的,“約泡固泡”那篇,應該是在跟洨情人鬧彆扭
心情煩躁之下打的
大約打了一百多字,說了一下對於約泡的想法,還附上了側乳的照騙
我一邊打一邊想,馬的,根本完美約泡文了這是。
然後收到還算不錯的迴響,
我就想,那我試著回信看看好了
到底有哪些是我會想回信的呢?
然後剛好今天有時間,我就隨手做了一個表格惹~
http://imgur.com/a/MvfSB
想以一個曾經有在約炮的淫海裡浮沈的女子
給想要約炮的各位
一點建議這樣
那就....
本文開始!(廢話好多XD I'm sorry~
///////////////////
站內信的起手式 不負責攻略
////////////////////
樣本數:87 (後來陸續還有,可是我耐性跟金魚的記憶一樣短,過了24小時就沒再回了
採樣時間:大約24小時唄
回信數:26
回信率:29.8%
到底你站內之後,收到回信的比率有沒有能超過這三分之一,又要如何超過這三分之一呢?
首先請記得,這純粹個人心得,而且是一個心眼絕對比你馬眼小的個人心得
我相信比我好相處的女孩太多了。
僅供參考。
我大概將站內信分成了以下幾類:
一,一句招呼文
共22封 比例:25%(竟然如此高!
回信:2 回信率:2/87=2 %
曾經有板友來信,說他約炮之後都悵然若失,覺得空虛。
哎,怕的不就是這個嗎?越約越空虛,那是約心酸的齁?
所以,如果只打“你好” “嗨?” “聊聊嗎?”
這種就不浪費大家時間了好嗎?
除非是那種很善良的女生吧?(還是太寂寞?
誰會回你這種信啦?!!
這種要真約成了, 我想連前戲都沒有,說不定還早洩,
就是感覺會是很空虛的一炮啊!
我都打了一百多字了,你也好歹說說話啊?沒有一點想法?
兩封有回信的,其實都不算是單純的一句招呼文
有一個附照,一個打了怪怪的招呼...
不過即使有回信,也是句點式的回法就是了...
然後其實我真正想說的是,
我也遇過那種一開始很木訥,但最後發現是很貼心並且超級好用的炮友
所以我相信,你有時候只打一聲“嗨”可能真的只是你害羞
但是這樣很可惜啊,
Mr. Right跟Miss Right 可能就這樣錯過了。
一句招呼文真的是很難回的啦,
花點心思說說話吧。
二,罐頭自介文
共17封 比例:19.5%(也不少呢
回信:0 回信率:0 %
其實裡面有些還不錯啦。
照片裡面壓了護照,表示常出國,或是工程師啊,或是有車啊。
或是喜歡美劇,興趣電影,專長攝影。
但我一封沒回,比一句招呼文還更有速乾效果。
為什麼?
因為,我就是,心眼比你馬眼小的椰絲,穴穴各位。
不是啊,我好認真佈置了一篇完美約炮文。
掏心掏肺的跟你自明心跡,說我心裡的話。
結果,
你只想到你自己!
感覺真的約的話,就是只顧自己爽而已的吧?
那這樣再帥有什麼用?
能吃嗎?不行啊。
而且!
你這樣複製貼上,根本就是約炮生產線的做法了啊。
你不怕得病,我還怕呢。
三,針對內容
共31封 比例:35.6%(最大族群
回信:19 回信率:21.8 %
如果能針對內容寄站內信,的確是會讓人最想要互動的。
通常西斯的女孩貼文時,大多也都會很認真地寫些什麼
找出一些你有共鳴的地方,回應她,應該是最容易成功的啊。
我不知道別人怎樣啦。
大肌肌或是帥啊有錢啊什麼的,根本不是考慮的重點。
一個女生要約炮呢,我是說,一般的女生齁。
當然還是希望起碼是安全的,可以信賴的人。
就是說,這個人的人品啊,氣質啊什麼的,是很基本的要求。
不然哪天在什麼視頻上發現自己的浪聲淫語,那就不用玩了啊。
就像羽兒說的,是感覺!
話又說回來,如果都已經對內容有回應了,
為什麼還是有三成以上我不想回信呢
我大概看了一下備註,有以下幾點
內容太單薄,也只有一句,感覺很草率啊,這樣打炮起來應該也很隨便吧
舉手發問的,但是內容不太想回答就跳過惹
還有稱自己屁孩的,或是說,“應該沒有什麼吸引力吧”的那種
你自己都沒自信,要別人怎麼對將來的發展有信心呢?
另外也有很妙的是喜歡下指導棋的。
我相信可能本人風度翩翩多金又會玩。
但是這就跟壓頭一樣。
抖M如我是完全可以被壓頭的,但是我得先喜歡你才能被你壓頭啊。
素不相識你壓我頭?
我有提過關於我的心眼的比例尺這件事嗎?
噢,對了,忘了說,
有一種一定會回的是,對他的推文很有印象。
如果對方常常在你的文章下面推文,而且又很懂得迎合心理
但妳看到他的來信,不可能不回的啊。
想要站內成功的盆友們
要速成的真的就去花錢好嗎
如果站內又想要得到回應,說穿了
就一分耕耘一分收獲,
並且平常要有禮貌推文啊!
然後呢,你還沒看累,我已經打累喏
果然就是耐性比金魚的記憶還短啊
還有針對照片做出讚美,附照,以及其他這幾類
如果只是很紳士的讚美,通常姐龍心大悅也是會回一下,
但如果直接說可以X你嗎?我也是會很怕出門被姦殺這樣。
附照的呢,也有身材很厲害的喲。
但是是在要也有對內文作出回應的,我才會回。
再說一遍,帥哥肌肉男,是能吃嗎?
而且肌肉男也不能保證唧唧就很大長粗久好用啊!
只寄照片就想要得到回應的話
老實說,感覺有點自大呢
哀,感覺約出來女生就要服務對方了啊
約炮這種事情是要看口碑跟服務的啦
而我就是,再說一遍,心眼比你馬眼小的椰絲。
相信比我飢渴以及善良的女孩還有很多,你們寄給她們就可以惹了,我pass。
噢,對了,還有其他。
有人寫來問我是不是 包小布。
靠北,我差點看成包尿布。
我的陰道還很緊實,真的不用。
驚嚇之中我就馬上左轉了
然後如果包小布妳有看到這篇,可以私我,有個癡漢在找您。
謝謝收看。
我相信發了這篇之後,
我的私人信箱,應該只剩空谷回音了吧
(((((((((哈哈哈哈哈))))))))))))
--
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