白色情人節要做什麼？ - 成人話題討論

By David
at 2018-03-14T19:22

Table of Contents

3月14日是白色情人節，

一個2/14一個七夕都還不夠，現在連3/14都熱起來了，

Motel前面等著進去打砲的車子一大排，

為了情人節排隊等待前一組才剛用過沒幾分鐘的床與浴缸，值得嗎？

白色情人節到底要做什麼才好呢？

以下請開電腦按空白鍵觀賞，手機請用全板模式/整頁模式。

(用電腦看比較不會失真，手機app會有圖歪掉或顏色跑掉的問題。)

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████████████
█ █
█ 限制級 █
█ █
████████████

本文為限制級，18歲以下不得觀賞。

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1. 蹲在超商門口吃冰，看到情侶就用很台的口吻問一些有的沒的。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　████████████████
██ＦｕｃｋｅｒＭａｒｔ████
████████████████
幹！牽手喔？ ██
是不是要進去買保險套啦？ ██ ▂▂▂▂▂▂
幹！為什麼不買？要中出喔？ ██ ██▉███
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　不怕懷孕膩？ ██ ██▉███
\ ██ ██▉███
怕怕> 兇 φ ██ ██▉███
/█\/█ <█﹀ ██ ██▉███
)( )( < > ██ ██▉███
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2. 看到牽手的情侶就手刀衝過去，撞開他們的牽手。

阿哈哈哈...
分手了分手了哈哈...
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 /
囧 — 囧　　　 —　衝」
/█\ /█\　— 　「◤
//— //　　 — ╱>
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3. 衝進餐廳裡面大吼，喊出他們內心深處真實的想法。

假掰吃什麼飯啦！
等一下還不是咿咿喔喔在那邊幹！
快吞一吞出發了啦！
/
\喊/ 囧囧囧囧囧囧
█ ██\▃▃/██ ██\▃▃/██ ██\▃▃/██
|| █▆》█《▆█ █▆》█《▆█ █▆》█《▆█
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4. 使用G.I.JOE經典台詞，在男方耳邊挑釁，直到他發怒追逐，讓其無法約會。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　哦呵呵...
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　我要摸你媽捏捏！
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　你媽的捏捏，讚！　
　　　　　　你再說一次你試看看！　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　你媽的捏捏.....讚！
\ /
傻　怒 <樂>
/█\/█> █
|| || /<
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5. 瞄準男生左邊蛋蛋約1.27公分處，用力踢下去，並且向女方嗆聲。

　　　　　　　不～～～回家嚕枕頭吧妳！
\ /
<囧> 痛 \踢/
█ \/▎█
|| ((√ \
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6. 如果隔壁男生要帶女友回家，買個保險套尻一槍，連同性感內褲從窗戶丟進去。

隔間牆
↘
▌
▌
▌
▌
▌
▌
這是誰的？ ▌ 偷吃的人也會說不是我的啊，
你最好說清楚！這不是我的啊！ ▌　　你死定啦！解釋不了啦！
\ / ▌ /
怒 <囧> ▌\爽/
<█> █ ▌ █
||　 _ γ || ▌ ||
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7. 如果隔壁女生要帶男友回家，買個長條氣球尻三槍，連同一搓黃色狗毛從窗戶丟進去。

隔間牆
↘
▌
▌
▌
▌
▌
▌
　　金毛？ ▌
這是什麼東西？妳是不是CCR？ ▌　　好粗好大一條啦！
\ / ▌ /
<囧> 怒 ▌\爽/
█ <█> ▌ █
|| ▂ 〃 || ▌ ||
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總之，

就是要大搞破壞啦！！！！！！！

發錢！

1樓、11樓、21樓，每10樓一發，

一直到101樓，稅後1000p！(遇噓則向下遞延一樓)

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白色情人節快樂！

--

https://www.facebook.com/pttzoeforce/

甲偷刀！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

--

Tags: 保險套

All Comments

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at 2018-03-16T21:59

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at 2018-03-19T00:37

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at 2018-03-21T03:14

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at 2018-03-27T11:07

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at 2018-03-29T13:44

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at 2018-06-26T03:58

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at 2018-07-06T17:05

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at 2018-09-12T05:04

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at 2018-11-08T03:56

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at 2018-11-10T06:33

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at 2018-11-12T09:11

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at 2018-11-14T11:48

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at 2018-11-16T14:26

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at 2018-11-18T17:03

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at 2019-02-08T23:24

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at 2019-02-11T02:02

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at 2019-02-13T04:39

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at 2019-02-15T07:17

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at 2019-02-17T09:54

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at 2019-02-19T12:32

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at 2019-02-21T15:09

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at 2019-02-23T17:47

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at 2019-03-04T04:16

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at 2019-03-06T06:54

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at 2019-03-08T09:31

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at 2019-03-10T12:09

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at 2019-03-12T14:46

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at 2019-03-14T17:24

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at 2019-03-16T20:01

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at 2019-03-18T22:39

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at 2019-03-21T01:16

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at 2019-03-25T06:31

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at 2019-03-27T09:09

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at 2019-03-29T11:46

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at 2019-03-31T14:23

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at 2019-04-02T17:01

真的笑死

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at 2019-04-04T19:38

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at 2019-04-06T22:16

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at 2019-04-09T00:53

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By Donna
at 2019-04-11T03:31

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at 2019-04-13T06:08

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at 2019-04-15T08:46

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at 2019-04-17T11:23

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at 2019-04-19T14:01

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at 2019-04-21T16:38

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at 2019-04-23T19:16

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at 2019-04-25T21:53

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at 2019-04-28T00:31

推

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at 2019-04-30T03:08

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By Freda
at 2019-05-02T05:45

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at 2019-05-04T08:23

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at 2019-05-06T11:00

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at 2019-05-08T13:38

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By Lily
at 2019-05-10T16:15

Z 推哈哈哈哈

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at 2019-05-12T18:53

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at 2019-05-14T21:30

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By Emily
at 2019-05-17T00:08

推推

By Suhail Hany
at 2019-05-19T02:45

托

By Skylar Davis
at 2019-05-21T05:23

情人節快樂～～

By Eartha
at 2019-05-23T08:00

哈哈，好北爛

By Ingrid
at 2019-05-25T10:38

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at 2019-05-27T13:15

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at 2019-05-29T15:53

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at 2019-05-31T18:30

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at 2019-06-02T21:07

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at 2019-06-04T23:45

錢

By Elvira
at 2019-06-07T02:22

幹哈哈哈哈哈推了

By Charlie
at 2019-06-09T05:00

推

By Tom
at 2019-06-11T07:37

幹哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

By Skylar Davis
at 2019-06-13T10:15

推啦讚喔

By Ophelia
at 2019-06-15T12:52

推推

By Noah
at 2019-06-17T15:30

推，笑死XDDD

By Ula
at 2019-06-19T18:07

推!

By Candice
at 2019-06-21T20:45

大推

By Zenobia
at 2019-06-23T23:22

...

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at 2019-06-26T02:00

大推

By Quanna
at 2019-06-28T04:37

推推哈哈

By Candice
at 2019-06-30T07:15

推

By Rosalind
at 2019-07-02T09:52

推推

By Brianna
at 2019-07-04T12:29

幹XD

By Joseph
at 2019-07-06T15:07

笑到歪頭

By Todd Johnson
at 2019-07-08T17:44

唉唷媽阿HEN會

By Megan
at 2019-07-10T20:22

嗚嗚你別這樣

By Ingrid
at 2019-07-12T22:59

推

By Bethany
at 2019-07-15T01:37

我笑到美丁噹XDDD

By Emily
at 2019-07-17T04:14

台什麼台啦，齁！

By Annie
at 2019-07-19T06:52

笑推

By Mason
at 2019-07-21T09:29

推

By Daniel
at 2019-07-23T12:07

笑死

By Charlie
at 2019-07-25T14:44

推

By Connor
at 2019-07-27T17:22

推

By Hamiltion
at 2019-07-29T19:59

哈哈哈

By Harry
at 2019-07-31T22:37

朝聖Z爺

By Steve
at 2019-08-03T01:14

啪啪啪

By Kyle
at 2019-08-05T03:51

第一次西斯版推文就送給您了!

By Eartha
at 2019-08-07T06:29

笑死了啦幹

By Edwina
at 2019-08-09T09:06

推

By James
at 2019-08-11T11:44

推

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By Eartha
at 2018-03-13T21:39

蘋果日報「其實我想上的是妳！」　她怕媽媽傷心竟任繼父性侵5年 https://tw.appledaily.com/hot/realtime/20180313/1313437/ 毫無人性！高雄一名水泥工覬覦失婚女性友人之長女的美貌，竟假意追求失婚友人，待兩人結婚後再性侵當時仍在念高職的繼女，之後更一找到空 ...

約跑起手式？

By Franklin
at 2018-03-12T19:18

※ 引述《catperson628 (菠菜)》之銘言： : 前一陣子失戀，雖然一直沉浸在悲傷中，但在傷心之餘，生理需求也還是沒有消退 : 而我又是個需求滿大的女生，上一段遠距離讓我憋好久了 : 下載了一些交友軟體，但不知道怎麼開口聊到那方面的話題，所以話題都很一般 : 很想直接開口問對方可是又怕嚇到人家XD ...

現實世界有可能連續爆射嗎?

By Gilbert
at 2018-03-10T16:11

理論上應該還是有不過我覺得這種屌還是有使用須知的小弟從小是包莖一直到唸大學才露出頭所以打手槍一直以來都是嚕包皮但是嚕著嚕著也就這麼習慣了這種滑順觸感一直都還是粉紅色很敏感的狀態直到第一次第二次跟女朋友做愛後慢慢悟出道理通常剛戴上套子後進去扭扭動動超級不可一世但大概沒有一分鐘就很敏感一直很想 ...

前段感情留下的情趣用品後續

By Lauren
at 2018-03-06T02:33

上班前快速發個文好了（國外早上十點多）繼上篇文提到說我因為搬家整理出許多情趣物品，其中就有一個當時在前女友身上用過的聰明球。由於某些原因，分手時沒有給她。想請問一下大家，像這種跟私人衛生有關係的情趣用品，還會留下來給下一任或是床伴用嗎？畢竟聰明球也不是什麼便宜的物品，清洗乾淨還是可以用吧？（ ...

大家有闖紅燈的經驗嗎？

By Barb Cronin
at 2018-03-05T21:12

之前有從網路上約了一個姊姊，在新竹工作。特地坐高鐵下去找他，晚上十一點多。到了他的員工宿舍，聊了一下天。然後就兩個人擠在單人床上睡覺。從後面環抱著他開始從奶子往下摸起，摸著摸著調逗他的奶子，用舌尖從他的耳垂開始沿著脖子，舔著他的奶子。弄得她很濕的情況下。他就一直打我說，你有沒有戴套子。我就說我 ...