男友早洩勸世文 - 成人話題討論

By Emma
at 2020-06-24T12:34
at 2020-06-24T12:34
Table of Contents
大家好
先講結論:
如果伴侶有早洩狀況,導致你沒辦法滿足
千萬要在剛察覺到問題的時候
及早、明確、嚴肅而理性的跟對方溝通
不要太相信網路上的「幫男生保留自尊心、溫柔鼓勵」說法
這除了對沒吃飽的那方很不公平,沒爽到還要努力體貼,之外
還會讓心思不夠細的男生,直接沒意識到問題嚴重性
忍耐、委婉、開玩笑、裝高潮,長期下來對自己的心理,甚至關係品質都有影響
沒得到滿足與安撫的體貼撐不了多久的
最後總有一天爆炸,只會讓好好解決or好聚好散變得更無望
—
以下正文,微長
從剛開始交往就知道男友偏快
剛開始他也有說過,自己知道有這情況,因此以前有點自卑
但一開始沒很嚴重,再加上很有愛,想說多做會好一些
他也很願意前戲用手用口用玩具什麼的
雖然我還是最喜歡本番,但就儘量朝鼓勵&增加自信的方向去走
我們都20歲後半,標準身材,交往前也都早就不是處女處男
我是一個慾望偏大的人,一兩天會想要一次
而男友想要的頻率比我稍低一點,一週大概一兩次
CD時間也滿長,真的硬做大概也要隔半天才能再一次
其實沒互相協調的話慾望頻率有點對不上
加上早洩失落感會更大
但那時雖然沒有到100%滿足
抱著慢慢練等未來會變好的心情&熱戀期加乘
也還可以接受,過了一段性生活還算協調的日子
後來不知道是之前增加自信心加得太滿,還是交往久了難免的慣性
漸漸的他開始會說一些「你今天太緊了」「隔太久沒做了」
「你也滿容易到的吧我們這樣剛好」的話
心裡其實有點難過,但不想太傷人,有時候事後默默的滑ptt看解決方法
有時候就會用撒嬌再久一點、或是提議一起去運動、買什麼保健品之類
拐彎抹角的表示
但其實沒什麼用,沒有坐下來好好認真溝通過慾望對不上的事情
結果就是沒被真的當一回事
現在想想這樣委婉真的大錯特錯
後來就這樣拖著,情況在他換新工作前後急轉直下
常常動幾下就需要停一陣,再幾下就射了
最後靠射完還有一點硬再撐著多動一陣
但其實根本就不舒服
硬度差異太明顯,有時會感覺只是在湊時間長度而已
動一半停一下也是,從前戲堆到主菜,快感一直上升的過程
被這樣冷一下冷一下,最後變成跌停板
離高潮越來越遠
結束後只剩下:算了就這樣,快睡吧明天還要上班,的心情
有一次太失落,原本真的不想情緒化的
我也知道他壓力大上班忙等等
但他結束的瞬間,眼淚還是整顆直接滾下來
床單濕了一片結果是淚水,淒涼到有點好笑
最近幾次為此大吵,自己也覺得很不應該
但是情緒累積久了真的很容易爆炸,變成溝通更困難
以他的角度大概是:
前面不是都好好的嗎怎麼反應這麼大,最近工作關係不能體諒我嗎
以我的角度就是:
我妥協這麼久就是為了慢慢變好
結果你有自信到覺得不成問題,甚至還退步,那我這些算什麼
吵的時候男友說他幾年前(跟我交往前)看過醫生
後來覺得沒用就沒看,但他最近會重新開始吃藥
理性上明知道這是現在最佳解了
但心裡還是超不平衡,冒出一堆:
哇一定要弄到這程度你才會提出這個解法嗎
之前為什麼什麼都不做,真的覺得自己很棒嗎
等等的想法
現在這個問題已經養大到
我開始會閃掉一些肢體接觸
睡前的親親抱抱時光,我會有意無意制止一些太慾望的動作
也不再期待什麼端午節放假大做一場這種事
感覺身體上親密度一直降低,關係好像也變遠了
以前都是我比較常想做,現在的我只想逃避這件事
明明心裡就很渴望協調的性生活,表現出來卻是各種找理由別做
他也因此滿挫折的
好像變成惡性循環
求解
不分手的話真的有人順利解決過這種情況嗎
或是有沒有親身經歷推薦的醫生,吃藥或諮商都可以
約炮信就不用了完全沒心情看
謝謝大家
--
Tags:
成人
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