用老二釣魚?? 有可能嗎?? - 成人話題討論

By Harry
at 2009-04-24T10:21
at 2009-04-24T10:21
Table of Contents
其實用老二釣魚我不知道可不可行
但我記得外公曾經跟我說過一個
早在遠早鄉民跟隨鄭成功定居台灣
嘉義東石流傳著一個有名的神方癒疾的故事
是這麼說的...
由於那時登陸台灣的漢人大多屬年輕力壯的單身漢
或是妻子小孩遠在黑水溝另一岸的男子
空有一雙手腳的他們
爲安定的居住下來所使出的手段在那時代背景只能說迫於無奈
於是仗著年輕勇猛的30CM
一面與在地平埔族女子發生感情,一面密謀奪取農田財富的事情,時有可聞
然後將騙來的野豬牲畜等財產
變賣成可以捕魚的漁網或是可以往返黑水溝彼岸的小筏(聽說那時候有家室的男子
很多還是想回去接子女過來的)
然後有錢了以後開始建廟祭祀
求海上平安
旦對於這些既得利益、心懷不軌的漢人來說其實只是求個心安而已
私底下壞事還是繼續勾當
其中最富惡名的就是黃大貴
白天他是廟裏的總幹事
晚上則是姦淫婦女 殺很大的極其壞心之人
旦夜路走多了還是會遇到鬼
曾經被他推下井的平埔族女子在午夜時分出現在黃大貴熟睡的床前
一雙因為泡爛的雙手慢慢的退下黃大貴的褲子
然後握著還在昏覺得老二
慢慢的
吹著冷風的
滴下黃膿口水的
來回磨蹭
套弄著
....
等到黃大貴驚醒起身望著下半身時
老二因為細菌感染而腫脹不堪 而一旁的女鬼則面露憎擰的
從窗戶穿越而過 躍入水井....
於是擔驚受恐的黃大貴夜半雞啼未響的倉皇跑到大夫家裏
尋求醫治
無奈好幾天過去了,病情依舊沒有好轉,於是大夫只好叫黃大貴
去廟裏拜拜,看媽祖能不能指點迷津
然後心力交瘁的黃大貴便前往廟裏
而廟住就剛好就倚在門口的一隻石獅上對黃大貴說
"I like your gun..."
...
痾不是...
是"你平日為非作歹,今日還妄想媽祖會給你幫忙?"
黃大貴崩潰說道:「我知道我錯了!我最近也一直在反省自己!旦真的好痛苦
快救我!!!大夫說再這樣下去我就會死掉阿!!!嘎啊!」
"好吧!其實我早就料到會有這一天,也早早幫你擲過筊問過媽祖娘娘,
他說只要你有心懺悔,便指引內外陰魂皆不相干,開了六昧草藥急救,然後海水
的洗滌方能治癒"
於是家人急忙趕往藥房煎服藥方,到了半夜下腹鳴如雷,繼而放屁不止,穢氣逼人。
隔天清晨再到東石港邊退去衣物,眾目睽睽之下充滿羞愧的浸泡在海中等待...
然後海中的魚群有如受了神明的指示一樣
像現在盛行的溫泉魚啄食腳皮一樣
一尾一尾的游過來親吻黃大貴的下體,一口一口的帶走穢物
最後消除腫脹 免除苦痛的業障..
從此黃大貴不再為非作歹顛倒善惡
服務鄉里
為民喉舌...
的好人
後人也因此立了一個銅像,訴說著勸人為善的故事
最後補上這銅像的圖
http://0rz.tw/k4OF5
--
我在此鄭重發誓,我絕對是豪洨的
蛤利
--
--
--
但我記得外公曾經跟我說過一個
早在遠早鄉民跟隨鄭成功定居台灣
嘉義東石流傳著一個有名的神方癒疾的故事
是這麼說的...
由於那時登陸台灣的漢人大多屬年輕力壯的單身漢
或是妻子小孩遠在黑水溝另一岸的男子
空有一雙手腳的他們
爲安定的居住下來所使出的手段在那時代背景只能說迫於無奈
於是仗著年輕勇猛的30CM
一面與在地平埔族女子發生感情,一面密謀奪取農田財富的事情,時有可聞
然後將騙來的野豬牲畜等財產
變賣成可以捕魚的漁網或是可以往返黑水溝彼岸的小筏(聽說那時候有家室的男子
很多還是想回去接子女過來的)
然後有錢了以後開始建廟祭祀
求海上平安
旦對於這些既得利益、心懷不軌的漢人來說其實只是求個心安而已
私底下壞事還是繼續勾當
其中最富惡名的就是黃大貴
白天他是廟裏的總幹事
晚上則是姦淫婦女 殺很大的極其壞心之人
旦夜路走多了還是會遇到鬼
曾經被他推下井的平埔族女子在午夜時分出現在黃大貴熟睡的床前
一雙因為泡爛的雙手慢慢的退下黃大貴的褲子
然後握著還在昏覺得老二
慢慢的
吹著冷風的
滴下黃膿口水的
來回磨蹭
套弄著
....
等到黃大貴驚醒起身望著下半身時
老二因為細菌感染而腫脹不堪 而一旁的女鬼則面露憎擰的
從窗戶穿越而過 躍入水井....
於是擔驚受恐的黃大貴夜半雞啼未響的倉皇跑到大夫家裏
尋求醫治
無奈好幾天過去了,病情依舊沒有好轉,於是大夫只好叫黃大貴
去廟裏拜拜,看媽祖能不能指點迷津
然後心力交瘁的黃大貴便前往廟裏
而廟住就剛好就倚在門口的一隻石獅上對黃大貴說
"I like your gun..."
...
痾不是...
是"你平日為非作歹,今日還妄想媽祖會給你幫忙?"
黃大貴崩潰說道:「我知道我錯了!我最近也一直在反省自己!旦真的好痛苦
快救我!!!大夫說再這樣下去我就會死掉阿!!!嘎啊!」
"好吧!其實我早就料到會有這一天,也早早幫你擲過筊問過媽祖娘娘,
他說只要你有心懺悔,便指引內外陰魂皆不相干,開了六昧草藥急救,然後海水
的洗滌方能治癒"
於是家人急忙趕往藥房煎服藥方,到了半夜下腹鳴如雷,繼而放屁不止,穢氣逼人。
隔天清晨再到東石港邊退去衣物,眾目睽睽之下充滿羞愧的浸泡在海中等待...
然後海中的魚群有如受了神明的指示一樣
像現在盛行的溫泉魚啄食腳皮一樣
一尾一尾的游過來親吻黃大貴的下體,一口一口的帶走穢物
最後消除腫脹 免除苦痛的業障..
從此黃大貴不再為非作歹顛倒善惡
服務鄉里
為民喉舌...
的好人
後人也因此立了一個銅像,訴說著勸人為善的故事
最後補上這銅像的圖
http://0rz.tw/k4OF5
--
我在此鄭重發誓,我絕對是豪洨的
蛤利
--
--
推 steven0529: 小學時會有人說要烙國中生打人05/20 12:19
→ steven0529: 國中時會有人說要烙高中生打人...05/20 12:19
→ imanikki: 可是高中沒人說要烙大學生打人05/20 12:20
→ egg9: 因為大學生都在打魔獸吃泡麵 要烙的話也只會烙賽05/20 12:22
--
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at 2011-02-13T21:35

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at 2011-02-18T00:39
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at 2011-02-22T03:43
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at 2011-02-26T06:47
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at 2011-03-02T09:51
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at 2011-03-06T12:56
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at 2011-03-10T16:00
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at 2011-03-14T19:04
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at 2011-05-03T07:53
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