有關台大的新聞 - 成人話題討論

By Kristin
at 2017-10-20T21:01
at 2017-10-20T21:01
Table of Contents
昨晚趕稿時,知道了遺憾的事,有些話想跟大家分享,也許有點現實跟黑暗,但情愛跟性這件事,本來就是這麼地現實。
我自己的工作是影像工作者,以下為保護當事人,做過些許修改,希望大家看完,都能保護自己,也避免自己遺憾。
A.他是我採訪過的一個男性性侵犯,說實話那時到監獄採訪,我一開始不知道他是這樣的背景,我只知道他有很棒的藝術天賦,然後也將這樣的天賦在出獄後,跟更多受刑人跟民眾,無私的分享,從外表看過去,他就是那樣的白淨有禮貌,有時一樣有男孩的害羞,在跟他私下聊天時,他說到那時做的錯事。
他那時唸大一,同系的女友是他人生第一個女人,他很投入,幾乎把所有的自己與感情毫無保留地投注進去,而陷得越深,分開所承受的反彈就越強,他不斷地挽回,但事與願違,在一次女方的居所,他性侵了她。
他說,那個當下的自己是可怕的自己,所有的衝動就像一種無論如何都要找出口的宣洩,他失去了朋友同學和愛過的女人,她因為這樣得了重鬱症。他假釋時,站在獄所門口痛哭,他一點都沒因為懲罰而得到救贖。
他覺得自己就像個劊子手,原來三到四年的刑期,就能換了一個女人的一生;原來出獄之後的彌補懊悔跟自責痛苦,是要伴隨你一輩子的,你永遠都不知道要怎麼還。
B.有陣子因為小說題材蒐集,私下訪了些已出獄的女性重刑犯,詳細犯案細節我就不說了,因為都是很有名的案件。
先說說加害者吧,也許你會好奇他們出獄後的生活如何,但其實80%跟你我一樣,他們就是跟普通人一樣,你光從外表你是分辨不出來,她曾經有過什麼遭遇或做了什麼事的。
像其中一位殘殺情敵的,她出獄後改了名,隱姓埋名,基本上媒體是找不到她的,我是透過志工團體認識一位跟她還不錯的獄友,才間接同意跟我私下的會談。
或是另一位殺家暴男友的,她男友總是用性虐待跟暴力相向。
她們跟我說,即使到現在過了十幾二十年,犯案過程中的一絲一節,她們永遠記得清清楚楚。
不管是因為嫉妒,放不下,執著,佔有慾,心理受傷生理受傷,由愛生恨,種種理由,最後產生出來的怒,就像吉田修一寫的小說一樣,因為信任,所以無法原諒背叛,那股怒,往往會在你無法想像的時候,推你上悲劇舞台。
沒有道理,沒有預兆,就是狠狠吞噬你這個人的一切。
如果你的愛情或性伴侶,有你在正常狀態下,無法理解的暴力傾向時,你都該好好觀察與適時保護自己的。
而你覺得所有的受刑人都會懺悔嗎?
我記得某位,在我面前嘲笑被害人又冷笑的表情,好吧,當下我真的很佩服一些輔導志工,能與這群魔鬼相處。
我也記得A案例那位朋友跟我分享的,性侵犯基本上很多都是老面孔,犯了又入,出了又犯,出遊,相約陪伴或者到複雜場所,你也該保護自己的,你對自己的識人的自信能有幾多呢?
而被害者的家庭跟加害者呢?
我只能說那是沒有邊際的恨與悲傷。
C.我記得高中時,我有認識一個朋友,他喜歡上我另一個朋友,但後來我朋友開始發現他的情緒很不穩定,像是爭吵或是提分手時,他總是拿刀割腕自殘。
我記得有天半夜接到她的求救電話,我去到她家時,地上已是斑斑血跡,我先好聲好語,勸他放下刀子,拿走刀之後,再跟他講道理,等他心情漸漸平復之後,因為我那時算是在混的,我把他拖到外面,狠狠地打了他一頓,告訴他,永遠不要再像個孬種一樣再去糾纏她。
說實話,我不是牡蠣派的,在自身脫離危險的狀態,然後必要的時候,你一定要硬起來,而不是坐視不管,三心二意,優柔寡斷,無法反抗就離得越遠越好,溫良恭儉讓在這種時候是沒有用的。
而直到今天,雖然那男性朋友不再跟我聯絡,但我一點也不後悔。
說實話,情,性,愛,本來就是無比濃烈的情感,要不然不會這麼多的刑案非利即情;要不然那會那麼多的自我安慰,沒這麼普遍,但性暴力,性侵害,情關難過,恐怖情人,出約時的狼爪,三不五時就在你週遭發生。
不管你是異性戀還同性戀。
只希望當你走不過時,想想自己的家人,你的罪不是我扛一句話,你說了算,地獄是連你的家人們一起去的;想想你愛過的人,別讓自己的愛情如此廉價可笑;想想自己,別抹殺那個對的人,將來與你相遇的機會。
謝謝。
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Sent from JPTT on my Samsung SM-G610Y.
--
Tags:
成人
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