有沒有人自己就是雷砲的 - 成人話題討論

By Belly
at 2018-05-31T17:28
at 2018-05-31T17:28
Table of Contents
不知道臨陣脫逃算不算雷炮
說個自己的故事
在莫約十幾年前 我經歷了一場奇幻旅程
當時候根本不懂甚麼叫做愛性愛管他甚麼愛
只會趁爸媽不在家偷偷摸去他們房間看彩虹頻道
發現內褲濕濕下面緊緊的 還以為那就是高潮
那是個線上遊戲逐漸蓬勃發展的時代
男生跟女生 認識->聊天->要不要當我婆/公->深入了解彼此
經歷這些過後 自然會想約見面看看長的是啥麼模樣
我以為是愛情的模樣 抱歉 對方想的是射在你臉上的模樣
好傻好天真的約出去見面 傻到第一次直接約對方家
妳以為對方會慢慢引導妳帶妳上天堂
抱歉下面硬硬沒空跟妳前戲三分情
就在那個摩曼頓 沒看過彩虹頻道解馬賽克後那條蛇真面目的我
被那條蛇嚇到嘴巴緊閉 因為它正散發出一股沒聞過的臭味
左嘟右嘟 嘟嚕嘟嚕答答答 嘟不進櫻桃小嘴
蛇蛇決定直接強攻我的花園 我警覺事態不妙
『我肚子餓了』
「蛤?」
『沒吃早餐肚子餓了』
看得出對方比我更餓 但是還是屈服了帶我去吃東西
吃完又回到他家又再一次突襲我
我又更怕自己把吃下去的東西吐出來
『我想大便』
「蛤?」
『我肚子好痛想大便』
看得出對方頭比我假肚痛還要更痛
我在廁所左思右想怎麼辦要怎樣逃離這個蛇窟
於是我傳簡訊叫我朋友在五分鐘後打給我假裝是我老母
騙到了這個有巨蛇的網公 結束了這場旅程
回到家後 對方立刻想約第二次
畢竟沒有嘟到我的心肝底
聰明如比爾蓋茲的我果斷的離婚
只看到密頻傳來一句
「 幹 妳 娘 臭 鮑 魚 雷 炮 」
以上為真實事件改編 謝謝大家觀賞
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