想請問關於男生打手槍 - 成人話題討論

By Christine
at 2017-11-10T22:52
at 2017-11-10T22:52
Table of Contents
※ 引述《kkayla (每個人都在說謊)》之銘言:
: 因為我以前在租書店打工,遇到噁心的客人,每次還的書上面都有奇怪的味道
: 我們就從「最無法接受書有什麼味道」(檳榔味屎味菸味洨味)
: 一路超展開到「男生都怎麼一邊看書一邊打手槍」
: (當然書是指可勾起慾望的A書A漫A雜啦。如果能一邊看三國演義或深夜食堂一邊打手槍我也沒意見就是)
: 友:「一邊看書一邊打手槍要怎麼翻頁啊?」
: 我:「應該……就固定在最刺激的那一頁,然後一邊想像一邊開始撸了吧?」
以下舉幾種例子,男生大概都是這樣尻尻的,
請開電腦按空白鍵觀賞,手機請用全板模式/整頁模式。
第一人稱尻槍視角!
(用電腦看比較不會失真,手機app會有圖歪掉或顏色跑掉的問題。)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
█ █
█ 限 制 級 █
█ █
████████████
本文為限制級,18歲以下不得觀賞。
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. 右手尻槍,左手翻書頁
書擺桌上, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
或直接拿在手上翻, │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
都不是什麼難事。 │ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
╘════╧════╝
╭┬╮
│││ ╭╥╮
╭╯││ │ │
│ │╮ ╰ ╯
╰ ╯╯ │ │
██ ╭─╮
██ ╭│││
██ ├╰╯╰◣
██ ├─┤ █◣
██ ├─┤╭██◣
██ ╰─╯╯◥██◣
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
╔══════════╗ █████
2. 右手尻槍,左手控制滑鼠 ║ ║ ███◎█
║ ║ █████
初學者需要適應一下, ║ ● ║ █□□□█
║ _█> ║ █████
畢竟左手用滑鼠不是很順, ║ ●r2 || ║ █████
║ ║ █████
練起來之後這是最常用的。 ╚══════════╝ █████
║ ║ █████
╩══╩ █████
滑鼠 ╭─────────────╯ ↖
↘ ╭─╯ ╭╥╮ 電腦
╭┬╮ │ │
│ ╭╮ ╰ ╯
│ ││ │ │
╭─╯│ ╭─╮
│ │╮ ╭│││
╰ ╯╯ ├╰╯╰◣
██ ├─┤ █◣
██ ├─┤╭██◣
██ ╰─╯╯◥██◣
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
╔══════════╗ █████
3. 左手尻槍,右手控制滑鼠 ║ ║ ███◎█
║ ║ █████
右手控制非常順利, ║ ● ║ █□□□█
║ _█> ║ █████
左手尻槍力道與方向需要練習 ║ ●r2 || ║ █████
║ ║ █████
沒太大問題。 ╚══════════╝ █████
║ ║ █████
╩══╩ █████
│ ↖
╭╥╮ ╰╮ 電腦
│ │ ╭┬╮
╰ ╯ ╭╮ │ ←滑鼠
│ │ ││ │
╭─╮ │╰─╮
│││╮ ╭│ │
◢╯╰╯┤ ╰╰ ╯
◢█ ├─┤ ██
◢██ ├─┤ ██
◢██◤╰╰─╯ ██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. 雙手翻書,雞雞自己射
如果早洩,看了就射, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
或能夠靠著意念發射, │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
那雙手翻書也是可以的。 │ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
╘════╧════╝
╭─╮ ╭─╮
│╭╮ ╭╮│
│││ │││
╰ ╯ ╰ ╯
██ ██
██ ██
██ ╭╥╮ ██
██ │ │ ██
██ ╰ ╯ ██
██ │ │ ██
██ │ │ ██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. 叫你阿嬤來囉 A書
↙
如果完全沒辦法自己翻書, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
叫阿嬤來幫忙。 │ <● │ \●> ║ 蝦小?
│ UU> │ UU ║ /
│ /< │ () ║ 嬤
│ │ ║ ┌█> ←阿嬤
╘════╧════╝ │((
╭╥╮
│ │
╰ ╯ ╭╮
│ │ ││
╭─╮ │╰─╮
│││╮ ╭│ │
◢╯╰╯┤ ╰╰ ╯
阿嬤! ◢█ ├─┤ ██
來幫我翻書! ◢██ ├─┤ ██
\ ◢██◤╰╰─╯ ██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6. 用雙腳尻
如果柔軟度夠, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
腳折上來夾著雞雞尻, │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
雙手就可以空下來翻書了。 │ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
╘════╧════╝
╭╮ ╭╮
│╯╭╥╮╰│
│││ │││
左腳 ◢╯│╰ ╯│╰◣ 右腳
↘ ◢█ ││ ││ █◣ ↙
◢██╮││ ││╭██◣
◢██◤╰╯│ │╰╯◥██◣
◢██◤ │ │ ◥██◣
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7. 叫你室友來幫忙 A書
↙
有室友的話, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
無論是他幫尻你翻書, │ <● │ \●> ║ 最好啦!
│ UU> │ UU ║ /
或是反過來都很好。 │ /< │ () ║ <囧>
│ │ ║ █ ←室友
╘════╧════╝ )(
╭╥╮
│ │
╰ ╯ ╭╮
│ │ ││
╭─╮ │╰─╮
│││╮ ╭│ │
◢╯╰╯┤ ╰╰ ╯
同寢的! ◢█ ├─┤ ██
來幫我! ◢██ ├─┤ ██
\ ◢██◤╰╰─╯ ██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8. 雞雞自己翻書,雞雞自己尻,雞雞自己射
如果雞雞可以, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
這樣最方便。 │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
│ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
╘════╧════╝
╭╥╮
│ │
╰ ╯
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9. 奈米屌...
這輩子都不能尻, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
要拿顯微鏡,又要翻書, │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
而且還怕不小心捏壞掉, │ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
奈米屌男生比較辛苦。 ╘════╧════╝
╭╮←中指
││
╭┬╮╭╮
││╭─╮
╰┴╰ │
╰ ╯
██
██
██
██
██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
無論是書本,還是電腦,或者是手機,都是方便單手使用的,
以前古人尻尻要馬拉開畫卷,要馬打開竹簡,衣服又那麼繁複,
那才是真的辛苦,
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The End
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
https://www.facebook.com/pttzoeforce
喔喔,呵呵,先po廢文。
--
: 因為我以前在租書店打工,遇到噁心的客人,每次還的書上面都有奇怪的味道
: 我們就從「最無法接受書有什麼味道」(檳榔味屎味菸味洨味)
: 一路超展開到「男生都怎麼一邊看書一邊打手槍」
: (當然書是指可勾起慾望的A書A漫A雜啦。如果能一邊看三國演義或深夜食堂一邊打手槍我也沒意見就是)
: 友:「一邊看書一邊打手槍要怎麼翻頁啊?」
: 我:「應該……就固定在最刺激的那一頁,然後一邊想像一邊開始撸了吧?」
以下舉幾種例子,男生大概都是這樣尻尻的,
請開電腦按空白鍵觀賞,手機請用全板模式/整頁模式。
第一人稱尻槍視角!
(用電腦看比較不會失真,手機app會有圖歪掉或顏色跑掉的問題。)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
████████████
█ █
█ 限 制 級 █
█ █
████████████
本文為限制級,18歲以下不得觀賞。
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. 右手尻槍,左手翻書頁
書擺桌上, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
或直接拿在手上翻, │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
都不是什麼難事。 │ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
╘════╧════╝
╭┬╮
│││ ╭╥╮
╭╯││ │ │
│ │╮ ╰ ╯
╰ ╯╯ │ │
██ ╭─╮
██ ╭│││
██ ├╰╯╰◣
██ ├─┤ █◣
██ ├─┤╭██◣
██ ╰─╯╯◥██◣
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
╔══════════╗ █████
2. 右手尻槍,左手控制滑鼠 ║ ║ ███◎█
║ ║ █████
初學者需要適應一下, ║ ● ║ █□□□█
║ _█> ║ █████
畢竟左手用滑鼠不是很順, ║ ●r2 || ║ █████
║ ║ █████
練起來之後這是最常用的。 ╚══════════╝ █████
║ ║ █████
╩══╩ █████
滑鼠 ╭─────────────╯ ↖
↘ ╭─╯ ╭╥╮ 電腦
╭┬╮ │ │
│ ╭╮ ╰ ╯
│ ││ │ │
╭─╯│ ╭─╮
│ │╮ ╭│││
╰ ╯╯ ├╰╯╰◣
██ ├─┤ █◣
██ ├─┤╭██◣
██ ╰─╯╯◥██◣
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
╔══════════╗ █████
3. 左手尻槍,右手控制滑鼠 ║ ║ ███◎█
║ ║ █████
右手控制非常順利, ║ ● ║ █□□□█
║ _█> ║ █████
左手尻槍力道與方向需要練習 ║ ●r2 || ║ █████
║ ║ █████
沒太大問題。 ╚══════════╝ █████
║ ║ █████
╩══╩ █████
│ ↖
╭╥╮ ╰╮ 電腦
│ │ ╭┬╮
╰ ╯ ╭╮ │ ←滑鼠
│ │ ││ │
╭─╮ │╰─╮
│││╮ ╭│ │
◢╯╰╯┤ ╰╰ ╯
◢█ ├─┤ ██
◢██ ├─┤ ██
◢██◤╰╰─╯ ██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. 雙手翻書,雞雞自己射
如果早洩,看了就射, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
或能夠靠著意念發射, │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
那雙手翻書也是可以的。 │ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
╘════╧════╝
╭─╮ ╭─╮
│╭╮ ╭╮│
│││ │││
╰ ╯ ╰ ╯
██ ██
██ ██
██ ╭╥╮ ██
██ │ │ ██
██ ╰ ╯ ██
██ │ │ ██
██ │ │ ██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. 叫你阿嬤來囉 A書
↙
如果完全沒辦法自己翻書, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
叫阿嬤來幫忙。 │ <● │ \●> ║ 蝦小?
│ UU> │ UU ║ /
│ /< │ () ║ 嬤
│ │ ║ ┌█> ←阿嬤
╘════╧════╝ │((
╭╥╮
│ │
╰ ╯ ╭╮
│ │ ││
╭─╮ │╰─╮
│││╮ ╭│ │
◢╯╰╯┤ ╰╰ ╯
阿嬤! ◢█ ├─┤ ██
來幫我翻書! ◢██ ├─┤ ██
\ ◢██◤╰╰─╯ ██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6. 用雙腳尻
如果柔軟度夠, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
腳折上來夾著雞雞尻, │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
雙手就可以空下來翻書了。 │ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
╘════╧════╝
╭╮ ╭╮
│╯╭╥╮╰│
│││ │││
左腳 ◢╯│╰ ╯│╰◣ 右腳
↘ ◢█ ││ ││ █◣ ↙
◢██╮││ ││╭██◣
◢██◤╰╯│ │╰╯◥██◣
◢██◤ │ │ ◥██◣
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7. 叫你室友來幫忙 A書
↙
有室友的話, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
無論是他幫尻你翻書, │ <● │ \●> ║ 最好啦!
│ UU> │ UU ║ /
或是反過來都很好。 │ /< │ () ║ <囧>
│ │ ║ █ ←室友
╘════╧════╝ )(
╭╥╮
│ │
╰ ╯ ╭╮
│ │ ││
╭─╮ │╰─╮
│││╮ ╭│ │
◢╯╰╯┤ ╰╰ ╯
同寢的! ◢█ ├─┤ ██
來幫我! ◢██ ├─┤ ██
\ ◢██◤╰╰─╯ ██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8. 雞雞自己翻書,雞雞自己尻,雞雞自己射
如果雞雞可以, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
這樣最方便。 │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
│ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
╘════╧════╝
╭╥╮
│ │
╰ ╯
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
│ │
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9. 奈米屌...
這輩子都不能尻, ┌────┬────╖
│ │ ║
要拿顯微鏡,又要翻書, │ <● │ \●> ║
│ UU> │ UU ║ ←A書
而且還怕不小心捏壞掉, │ /< │ () ║
│ │ ║
奈米屌男生比較辛苦。 ╘════╧════╝
╭╮←中指
││
╭┬╮╭╮
││╭─╮
╰┴╰ │
╰ ╯
██
██
██
██
██
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
無論是書本,還是電腦,或者是手機,都是方便單手使用的,
以前古人尻尻要馬拉開畫卷,要馬打開竹簡,衣服又那麼繁複,
那才是真的辛苦,
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The End
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
https://www.facebook.com/pttzoeforce
喔喔,呵呵,先po廢文。
--
Tags:
成人
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