情慾深淵 - 成人話題討論

By Elvira
at 2018-11-06T07:54
at 2018-11-06T07:54
Table of Contents
七早八早就被夢給擾醒
夢到曾經某個對象
夢裡的滿滿失落
又促使我想用文字發洩惹XD
-------------------------------------------
不知道其他女孩是不是都曾經像我
懷抱期望卻不知不覺踩進這個深淵?
說說我這個人
既開放卻又傳統
整個承襲了雙子座的矛盾
小學時就明白開發自己情慾
自己為自己破處這回事
卻也傳統的認為
未成年時的自己不能輕易交出身體給當時男友
從前也不懂性愛分離這事
只覺得一旦給予了
彼此關係就應當是男女朋友這樣的發展
-
-
某一個大學宿舍的午後
Facebook跳出一則交友邀請通知
照片看起來是一個有點陽光
卻又帶點壞壞味道的男生
沒有任何共同朋友
當時也沒多想的就按了確認
確認後馬上傳來了他的訊息
「Hi」
成為了我們的開端
我們日夜聊著
聊著我剛開啟的大學生活
早安晚安也勤勞的問候
雖然未曾見面
卻充斥在我的生活
分享我所有點滴
他的一句句「想你」
讓情感在我們之間萌芽
抑或是只有當時的我自顧自的少女心爆棚
而他只是撒網的漁夫
等著我游進這個陷阱
大一的冬天清晨
約莫4、5點吧
他約了我吃早餐
雖然很想在這樣的天氣
窩在被窩賴床
但心裡更期待的是見他
他到學校門口接我
當時南部冬季的冷風
吹在我臉上的觸感我還記得
他已事先買了很多早餐
當時的我也不曉得
為何他要帶我去旅館吃早餐
我拘謹的坐在床上看電視吃小熱狗配奶茶
房內悶熱的空調及氣氛
讓我額頭沁出汗來
他說服我脫了大衣毛衣及靴子
留下內搭細肩背心及短褲絲襪
也忘記何時
他從後面抱了上來
嘴唇貼上我的
猶然記得當時他口中的鍋貼味
其實不愛食物在鼻息間流竄的味
但我已喜歡上他 所以無條件接受
當他進入我身體時
我眼角微微濕潤了
不是疼痛
而是當時自以為的甜蜜
就算在這之前
用過玩具開發自己
但被男人完整佔有
這是第一次
結束後的他
沒有立刻推開我起身沖洗
而是抱著我讓我躺在他懷裡
他抽著事後煙看著電視
我則聽著他的平穩心跳
舒服的快睡著
如果有人問說
做愛哪個當下讓我感受被愛
那我肯定回答
:事後被擁在懷中時
因為這樣的記憶已深植在腦中
就算在幾年後的現在
明知是只有慾沒有情的交合
我也是這麼認為
就算當下的溫柔是假的
也如此執迷不悟
事後的我們一如以往聊著
每回他說的約會便是肉體的交纏
我急欲尋求關係的確認
他總以喜歡我及想我來搪塞
當時的我便以為上了床
就是彼此的另一半
原來這就是愛情
不料時間久了
再傻再腦殘的我
也越想越不對勁
才明白自己只是陷於這樣的情慾深淵
黑暗
又
深不見底
-
-
某次在夜店喝醉
哭倒在朋友懷裡
一直發瘋問著
:他為什麼不要我
隔天睡醒超後悔
因為平時的我怎樣也不願在別人面前流淚
太討厭這樣脆弱的模樣
也因此
一夜之間
我
成長了
現在遇到的男生
就算後來才發現
他們曾經花言巧語深入心底的聊
只是為順利爬上床而鋪路
我也能淡然的釋懷
因為太輕易動心
最傷的也是自己
畢竟我們活在了
「上了床也沒有結果的年代」
---------------------------------------------
來一下微弱西斯點
比起赤裸裸的
我更喜歡買一些情趣服來穿
尤其那種有開檔的
免脫方便
還可以遮一下肉XD
然後再被架在鏡子前
實行背後式肉搏戰
想想都要濕惹
https://i.imgur.com/cZlhjaZ.jpg
各式絲襪&膝上襪是我某陣子的必備品
但我不曉得當時為何會擺出這麼奇怪的醜姿勢
性感值直線下降為0
--
夢到曾經某個對象
夢裡的滿滿失落
又促使我想用文字發洩惹XD
-------------------------------------------
不知道其他女孩是不是都曾經像我
懷抱期望卻不知不覺踩進這個深淵?
說說我這個人
既開放卻又傳統
整個承襲了雙子座的矛盾
小學時就明白開發自己情慾
自己為自己破處這回事
卻也傳統的認為
未成年時的自己不能輕易交出身體給當時男友
從前也不懂性愛分離這事
只覺得一旦給予了
彼此關係就應當是男女朋友這樣的發展
-
-
某一個大學宿舍的午後
Facebook跳出一則交友邀請通知
照片看起來是一個有點陽光
卻又帶點壞壞味道的男生
沒有任何共同朋友
當時也沒多想的就按了確認
確認後馬上傳來了他的訊息
「Hi」
成為了我們的開端
我們日夜聊著
聊著我剛開啟的大學生活
早安晚安也勤勞的問候
雖然未曾見面
卻充斥在我的生活
分享我所有點滴
他的一句句「想你」
讓情感在我們之間萌芽
抑或是只有當時的我自顧自的少女心爆棚
而他只是撒網的漁夫
等著我游進這個陷阱
大一的冬天清晨
約莫4、5點吧
他約了我吃早餐
雖然很想在這樣的天氣
窩在被窩賴床
但心裡更期待的是見他
他到學校門口接我
當時南部冬季的冷風
吹在我臉上的觸感我還記得
他已事先買了很多早餐
當時的我也不曉得
為何他要帶我去旅館吃早餐
我拘謹的坐在床上看電視吃小熱狗配奶茶
房內悶熱的空調及氣氛
讓我額頭沁出汗來
他說服我脫了大衣毛衣及靴子
留下內搭細肩背心及短褲絲襪
也忘記何時
他從後面抱了上來
嘴唇貼上我的
猶然記得當時他口中的鍋貼味
其實不愛食物在鼻息間流竄的味
但我已喜歡上他 所以無條件接受
當他進入我身體時
我眼角微微濕潤了
不是疼痛
而是當時自以為的甜蜜
就算在這之前
用過玩具開發自己
但被男人完整佔有
這是第一次
結束後的他
沒有立刻推開我起身沖洗
而是抱著我讓我躺在他懷裡
他抽著事後煙看著電視
我則聽著他的平穩心跳
舒服的快睡著
如果有人問說
做愛哪個當下讓我感受被愛
那我肯定回答
:事後被擁在懷中時
因為這樣的記憶已深植在腦中
就算在幾年後的現在
明知是只有慾沒有情的交合
我也是這麼認為
就算當下的溫柔是假的
也如此執迷不悟
事後的我們一如以往聊著
每回他說的約會便是肉體的交纏
我急欲尋求關係的確認
他總以喜歡我及想我來搪塞
當時的我便以為上了床
就是彼此的另一半
原來這就是愛情
不料時間久了
再傻再腦殘的我
也越想越不對勁
才明白自己只是陷於這樣的情慾深淵
黑暗
又
深不見底
-
-
某次在夜店喝醉
哭倒在朋友懷裡
一直發瘋問著
:他為什麼不要我
隔天睡醒超後悔
因為平時的我怎樣也不願在別人面前流淚
太討厭這樣脆弱的模樣
也因此
一夜之間
我
成長了
現在遇到的男生
就算後來才發現
他們曾經花言巧語深入心底的聊
只是為順利爬上床而鋪路
我也能淡然的釋懷
因為太輕易動心
最傷的也是自己
畢竟我們活在了
「上了床也沒有結果的年代」
---------------------------------------------
來一下微弱西斯點
比起赤裸裸的
我更喜歡買一些情趣服來穿
尤其那種有開檔的
免脫方便
還可以遮一下肉XD
然後再被架在鏡子前
實行背後式肉搏戰
想想都要濕惹
https://i.imgur.com/cZlhjaZ.jpg

各式絲襪&膝上襪是我某陣子的必備品
但我不曉得當時為何會擺出這麼奇怪的醜姿勢
性感值直線下降為0
--
Tags:
做愛
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