情人節前的化學課 - 成人話題討論

By Zanna
at 2020-02-15T10:40
at 2020-02-15T10:40
Table of Contents
這絕對是篇廢文,
可是手機發文沒有錢
還有請不要轉笨版,謝謝!
===我是搞笑咖的認證分隔線===
情人節前幾天我男友叫我準備好
我苦思著該準備些什麼
或許該問還有什麼可以準備?
鮮花?禮物?情人節(唱
玩具?戰袍?或是其他道具.....
爬個西斯版看看有沒有靈感好了
然後我看到這篇文章
R: [閒聊] 襯衫
https://moptt.tw/p/sex.M.1581515329.A.07F
歐歐歐,這個好像蠻好玩
就幫男友洗泰國浴好了(羞
找了化工行,買了材料
由於有自覺自己化學不太好
我問老闆娘「請問這個怎麼使用,比例大概多少?」
老闆娘[你回去用水喇喇欸就好,比例看你要幹嘛,自己抓一下,太稠加水,太稀加粉]
好歐!!!!!
既然是化學課,
先讓我們準備以下材料及工具
量杯,電子秤,攪拌器具(我用筷子),
增稠劑,水
準備好之後
我有想到比例是1:100
我先秤了5公克增稠劑
然後加了350cc水(因為我怕太稀)
https://i.imgur.com/foOlmh7.jpg
喇完發現他 非常水 又加了5g多的粉
再喇過之後 發現他一樣水
覺得靠杯 會不會買到假貨? 又倒了一些 粉
再喇發現一樣很水
等了五分鐘發現好像那邊怪怪的
完全不會勾!
然後我就爆氣了
啊......雖小攏齁哩啦!
不管重量抓了一大把的增稠劑往量杯丟
再喇一樣是水狀物,
只是上面浮了很多粉末狀物品
我思考著是哪裡出了錯
(別問我為什麼不求助,
因為我說不出口我要調水性潤滑劑失敗要求救)
然後上網看了一些影片,
突然發現水是好像加熱才會勾?
等等,西斯版沒教人調潤滑液要熱水啊
化工行老闆娘也只說加水喇喇欸
我把量杯整杯拿進去微波爐微波一分鐘
欸,棒,勾了勾了
((S大貼心建議:別隨便把液體拿去微波 有突沸現象 萬一遇到燙到可能毀容))
攪拌了一下發現水根本沒溫度
再把量杯微波一分鐘
我得到一坨像麻薯一樣勾到沒辦法動的外星生物.......
[太稠就加水]
我想到老闆娘的提醒,
可是這時我量杯已經8分滿
只好拿出另一個容器分一半
加水,喇喇喇,
這時大概像花生醬的濃度
不行,這濃度太噁心
我又拿了其他容器
分裝,加水......一直重複
然後我得到大概3-5公升的潤滑液........
各位,你們以為這樣就完了嗎?
不!!!!!
最笨的是
我把所有器具拿去臉盆洗
然後....我就得到一臉盆很稀的潤滑液
https://i.imgur.com/a/SinKdnS.jpg
情人節前的化學課下課.....
如果有人因為要做愛幹過其他蠢事的歡迎推文安慰我一下,我會很感謝你(跪
西斯點:
自從某次解了肛交成就之後,
男友一直對我的肛門興趣缺缺
他說:有解過成就就好,更何況我不想你痛
人家都說肛交很爽
可是我還沒在肛交中獲得愉悅
所以我買了尾巴(肛塞)
用了很多很多潤滑液終於塞到自己肛門裡面
很痛,很不舒服的腫脹感.....
終於等到男友回來
我:C先生今天要幹兔子嗎?
(我繞了一圈讓他看我身上的兔子裝跟尾巴)
男友拉著我的尾巴.......
好呦!!!!!!
不過你可以先去煎兩塊蔥油餅給我吃嗎?
我好餓
......不說了,我先去煎蔥油餅...QQ
--
可是手機發文沒有錢
還有請不要轉笨版,謝謝!
===我是搞笑咖的認證分隔線===
情人節前幾天我男友叫我準備好
我苦思著該準備些什麼
或許該問還有什麼可以準備?
鮮花?禮物?情人節(唱
玩具?戰袍?或是其他道具.....
爬個西斯版看看有沒有靈感好了
然後我看到這篇文章
R: [閒聊] 襯衫
https://moptt.tw/p/sex.M.1581515329.A.07F
歐歐歐,這個好像蠻好玩
就幫男友洗泰國浴好了(羞
找了化工行,買了材料
由於有自覺自己化學不太好
我問老闆娘「請問這個怎麼使用,比例大概多少?」
老闆娘[你回去用水喇喇欸就好,比例看你要幹嘛,自己抓一下,太稠加水,太稀加粉]
好歐!!!!!
既然是化學課,
先讓我們準備以下材料及工具
量杯,電子秤,攪拌器具(我用筷子),
增稠劑,水
準備好之後
我有想到比例是1:100
我先秤了5公克增稠劑
然後加了350cc水(因為我怕太稀)
https://i.imgur.com/foOlmh7.jpg

喇完發現他 非常水 又加了5g多的粉
再喇過之後 發現他一樣水
覺得靠杯 會不會買到假貨? 又倒了一些 粉
再喇發現一樣很水
等了五分鐘發現好像那邊怪怪的
完全不會勾!
然後我就爆氣了
啊......雖小攏齁哩啦!
不管重量抓了一大把的增稠劑往量杯丟
再喇一樣是水狀物,
只是上面浮了很多粉末狀物品
我思考著是哪裡出了錯
(別問我為什麼不求助,
因為我說不出口我要調水性潤滑劑失敗要求救)
然後上網看了一些影片,
突然發現水是好像加熱才會勾?
等等,西斯版沒教人調潤滑液要熱水啊
化工行老闆娘也只說加水喇喇欸
我把量杯整杯拿進去微波爐微波一分鐘
欸,棒,勾了勾了
((S大貼心建議:別隨便把液體拿去微波 有突沸現象 萬一遇到燙到可能毀容))
攪拌了一下發現水根本沒溫度
再把量杯微波一分鐘
我得到一坨像麻薯一樣勾到沒辦法動的外星生物.......
[太稠就加水]
我想到老闆娘的提醒,
可是這時我量杯已經8分滿
只好拿出另一個容器分一半
加水,喇喇喇,
這時大概像花生醬的濃度
不行,這濃度太噁心
我又拿了其他容器
分裝,加水......一直重複
然後我得到大概3-5公升的潤滑液........
各位,你們以為這樣就完了嗎?
不!!!!!
最笨的是
我把所有器具拿去臉盆洗
然後....我就得到一臉盆很稀的潤滑液
https://i.imgur.com/a/SinKdnS.jpg

情人節前的化學課下課.....
如果有人因為要做愛幹過其他蠢事的歡迎推文安慰我一下,我會很感謝你(跪
西斯點:
自從某次解了肛交成就之後,
男友一直對我的肛門興趣缺缺
他說:有解過成就就好,更何況我不想你痛
人家都說肛交很爽
可是我還沒在肛交中獲得愉悅
所以我買了尾巴(肛塞)
用了很多很多潤滑液終於塞到自己肛門裡面
很痛,很不舒服的腫脹感.....
終於等到男友回來
我:C先生今天要幹兔子嗎?
(我繞了一圈讓他看我身上的兔子裝跟尾巴)
男友拉著我的尾巴.......
好呦!!!!!!
不過你可以先去煎兩塊蔥油餅給我吃嗎?
我好餓
......不說了,我先去煎蔥油餅...QQ
--
Tags:
做愛
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