大家都拿什麼當雞雞的比例尺 - 成人話題討論

By Hedy
at 2016-01-12T19:24

Table of Contents

※ 引述《idamimi (英文老師咪咪很大)》之銘言：
: 除了學生很少人身邊會有尺
: 如果你很想泡的那個女生要你出示證明
: 你會拿什麼丈量呢
: 我覺得最方便的是保特瓶
: 再來就是打火機
: 也曾經用硬幣量過
: 不過硬幣量比較耗錢，花了10個50元硬幣才擺完QQ

雞雞！解你個雞雞痾！(海大富梗)

以下請開電腦按空白鍵觀賞，手機請用全板模式/整頁模式。

(用電腦看比較不會失真，手機app會有圖歪掉或顏色跑掉的問題。)

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這個問題讓我想起電影鍋蓋頭(Jarhead)裡面，黑人中士訓練士兵時的橋段，

使用錯誤的比例尺是一件很可怕的事情。

█
███ 目測從這裡到那棵樹的距離，
█████ 拿一些已知的長度來做比較，
██████　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　不要跟我說三百根你的老二什麼的。
█████　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 /
█ ＿士
█ █>
◢█◣　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　||　　　　
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正確的比喻能夠很清楚的地讓大家知道你在講什麼，

就像球場上的球友總是會拿食物來形容自己跳起來的高度。

老啦！
現在都跳三塊豆腐高。 ●
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 \　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 <老／　 ∥
　　　　　　　　█ ∥
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　)) [舉]∥ 接接
█ ∥ /／ /／
　　　 || ∥ << <<　　　　 (註：排球)
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用來量測雞雞的比例尺絕對不能夠太瞎，

什麼一千兩百萬根奈米屌啦、0.4根鄉民屌啦，

女生哪聽得懂！

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ????
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　├───────────┤
╭──╮─────────
│ ╬
╞
│ ╩═
╰──╯─────────

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　俺の金棒　

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最簡單的還是用女生身上的東西當做比例尺，

這樣可以讓對方直接用自己的身體想像，然後瞬間理解。

◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
█
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣
◢█████◣
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
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從女生的私處開始，請見紅色部位，

跟對方敘述你的尺寸：

　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
█
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
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若敘述插入後會讓對方感到子宮悶悶，

則達到對方可以滿足的尺寸。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
█
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣ ← 俺の金棒
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

若敘述插入後會讓對方感到腸子蠕動，

則達到洋人的巨大尺寸。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
█
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███● ← 俺の金棒
◢███◣
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

若敘述插入後會讓對方感到呼吸困難，

則達到頂你個肺的尺寸。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
█
◢███◣
█████
█████ ← 俺の金棒
█████
●███●
◢███◣
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

若敘述插入後會讓對方感到卡痰，

則達到深喉嚨的尺寸。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
█ ← 俺の金棒
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

若敘述插入後會讓對方感到肩膀痠痛，

則達到接近深喉嚨的尺寸，

只是有一點陰莖側彎。　　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
█
◢███◣ ← 俺の金棒
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

若敘述插入後可以讓對方舔到懶叫，

則達到抽插兼口交的完美尺寸。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
█████ ← 俺の金棒
█
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

若敘述插入後懶叫還可以從嘴巴跑出來，

則達到異形的尺寸。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
███████ ← 俺の金棒
█
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

若敘述插入後會讓對方感到下體震動，

好像使用跳蛋一般，

那純粹是懶趴震，　　　　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
跟尺寸無關。 █████
█████
█
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣ ← 俺の金棒
(震動) ◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
((█︾█))
█ █ (震動)
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

若敘述插入後會讓對方感到全身都被攪動，

則達到驚天駭俗的尺寸，俺の金棒
↙
但硬度略顯不足，可惜！　　　　 ◢███◣
█████
█████
俺の金棒 → █████
█
◢███◣
█████
█████
█████
●███●
◢███◣ ← 俺の金棒
◢█████◣　　← 女性の○○
█ █
█ █
█ █
█ █
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

這樣子的比例尺，

是不是很棒？

比起鬼扯自己好像賽亞人將老二纏在腰上，

http://i.imgur.com/Zl6pYyU.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/RLfwd3E.jpg

這樣的敘述是不是更讓人能夠理解？

是不是更讓人覺得認真不唬爛？

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至於粗度，

用妙麗尺就夠了，

不再贅述。

http://i.imgur.com/Bj5EAsx.jpg

from 9gag

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--

https://www.facebook.com/pttzoeforce

廢到靠杯

--

Tags: 成人

All Comments

By Gilbert
at 2016-01-15T20:15

頭香

By Isabella
at 2016-01-18T21:06

終於等到你啦

By David
at 2016-01-21T21:57

我是帥哥

By Gilbert
at 2016-01-24T22:48

妙麗尺9

By Rebecca
at 2016-01-27T23:39

先推

By Lucy
at 2016-01-31T00:30

ZOEx2.5=lailungsheng…ya

By Brianna
at 2016-02-03T01:21

XDDD 超好笑

By Zora
at 2016-02-06T02:12

妙麗尺傳世永留傳

By Hardy
at 2016-02-09T03:03

再推~

By Daph Bay
at 2016-02-12T03:54

先推

By Ingrid
at 2016-02-15T04:45

先推XD

By Olga
at 2016-02-18T05:36

浪費才能XDD

By Wallis
at 2016-02-21T06:27

不要浪費你的才能好嗎

By John
at 2016-02-24T07:18

妙麗尺wwwwwwwwww

By Tracy
at 2016-02-27T08:09

妙麗尺也太好笑

By Selena
at 2016-03-01T09:00

XDXDXD 妙麗尺

By Jessica
at 2016-03-04T09:51

超好笑

By Isabella
at 2016-03-07T10:42

猛

By Anthony
at 2016-03-10T11:33

推妙麗尺XD

By Xanthe
at 2016-03-13T12:24

笑歪我了XDDDDDDDDDD

By Quanna
at 2016-03-16T13:15

哈哈哈哈哈大叔圖棒棒

By Margaret
at 2016-03-19T14:06

叔也懂觸手？？？

By Bethany
at 2016-03-22T14:57

太強

By Daniel
at 2016-03-25T15:48

從嘴巴出來了A\\\Ahttp://i.imgur.com/p4lbAAa.jpg

By Bennie
at 2016-03-28T16:39

只能推了

By Olive
at 2016-03-31T17:30

z叔！z叔！！！

By George
at 2016-04-03T18:21

很靠北XD

By Zanna
at 2016-04-06T19:12

推

By Zanna
at 2016-04-09T20:03

超靠北XDD

By Linda
at 2016-04-12T20:54

妙麗尺是三洨啦XDD

By Catherine
at 2016-04-15T21:45

\隸書挖哀里/

By Ida
at 2016-04-18T22:36

笑屎XDDDD

By Charlotte
at 2016-04-21T23:27

你不是睡了...

By Rebecca
at 2016-04-25T00:18

有笑有推!

By Todd Johnson
at 2016-04-28T01:09

妙麗尺好久諾~

By Ida
at 2016-05-01T02:00

推

By Eden
at 2016-05-04T02:51

笑慘了

By Dorothy
at 2016-05-07T03:42

看到卡痰就笑了

By Carolina Franco
at 2016-05-10T04:33

幹XDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Zenobia
at 2016-05-13T05:24

耶

By Bethany
at 2016-05-16T06:15

時事哏推一個XD

By Eartha
at 2016-05-19T07:06

妙麗尺XDDDDDD

By Steve
at 2016-05-22T07:57

推圖文解說

By Ingrid
at 2016-05-25T08:48

好噁心啊

By Frederic
at 2016-05-28T09:39

妙麗尺XDDDDDDD

By Zanna
at 2016-05-31T10:30

妙麗尺以後會變成通用度量衡單位嗎XDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Audriana
at 2016-06-03T11:21

推妙麗尺XDDDDDDDDD

By Liam
at 2016-06-06T12:12

妙麗哭哭

By Quanna
at 2016-06-09T13:03

可憐的妙麗XD

By Thomas
at 2016-06-12T13:54

太好笑了XDDDDDDDDDDDDDy

By Yedda
at 2016-06-15T14:45

推用心文

By Isla
at 2016-06-18T15:36

XDDDDDDDD快笑死我了

By Bennie
at 2016-06-21T16:27

看下來就這篇最有趣了

By Agatha
at 2016-06-24T17:18

笑噴

By Doris
at 2016-06-27T18:09

幹XDDD

By Joe
at 2016-06-30T19:00

這篇XDDDDD

By Cara
at 2016-07-03T19:52

妙麗尺～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～

By Frederica
at 2016-07-06T20:43

妙麗尺不錯用XD

By Ula
at 2016-07-09T21:34

推

By Franklin
at 2016-07-12T22:25

妙麗尺XDDDDDD

By Kyle
at 2016-07-15T23:16

妙麗尺超靠妖的

By Heather
at 2016-07-19T00:07

推

By Anonymous
at 2016-07-22T00:58

推

By Susan
at 2016-07-25T01:49

靠么XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Necoo
at 2016-07-28T02:40

XDDD

By Delia
at 2016-07-31T03:31

我看到了貪食蛇..............

By Heather
at 2016-08-03T04:22

我以為是雞腿==”

By Emily
at 2016-08-06T05:13

XDDDD

By Rae
at 2016-08-09T06:04

推妙麗尺

By Elvira
at 2016-08-12T06:55

貪食蛇膩XDDDDD

By Kristin
at 2016-08-15T07:46

我妙麗7

By Elizabeth
at 2016-08-18T08:37

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Bennie
at 2016-08-21T09:28

跪著推 orz

By Poppy
at 2016-08-24T10:19

z叔XDDDDDD

By Isabella
at 2016-08-27T11:10

妙麗九給推

By John
at 2016-08-30T12:01

哈哈

By Frederica
at 2016-09-02T12:52

手機阿不然咧

By Audriana
at 2016-09-05T13:43

妙麗尺太好笑啦XDDDD

By Elma
at 2016-09-08T14:34

推

By Jacob
at 2016-09-11T15:25

再推一次XD

By Edwina
at 2016-09-14T16:16

http://i.imgur.com/KbpOtva.jpg z大在召喚我啊！？

By Lydia
at 2016-09-17T17:07

講解精闢XDDDDD笑到肚子好痛RRR

By Caroline
at 2016-09-20T17:58

結合時事給推!!!

By Todd Johnson
at 2016-09-23T18:49

嗯

By Necoo
at 2016-09-26T19:40

妙麗尺太棒了當然是讓第一個含

By Skylar Davis
at 2016-09-29T20:31

推

By Xanthe
at 2016-10-02T21:22

廢

By Olive
at 2016-10-05T22:13

肩膀酸真的太靠腰啦~推

By Andy
at 2016-10-08T23:04

XD 太有才了

By Andrew
at 2016-10-11T23:55

妙麗尺是三小啦XDDD

By Mason
at 2016-10-15T00:46

哈哈！妙麗尺！

By Necoo
at 2016-10-18T01:37

那個圖是怎麼回事…

By Thomas
at 2016-10-21T02:28

時事梗欸XDDDD

By Rebecca
at 2016-10-24T03:19

推

By Ula
at 2016-10-27T04:10

推妙麗尺

By Necoo
at 2016-10-30T05:01

推z大叔~~

By Necoo
at 2016-11-02T05:52

結合時事棒棒

By Jack
at 2016-11-05T06:43

這是個淫獸的概念吧……

By Jake
at 2016-11-08T07:34

推Z大

By Zora
at 2016-11-11T08:25

光劍當比例尺阿

By Frederic
at 2016-11-14T09:16

推！這好笑!

By Donna
at 2016-11-17T10:07

快笑死了

By Delia
at 2016-11-20T10:58

廢到很好笑 XD

By John
at 2016-11-23T11:49

XDDDD 妙麗尺是三小啦

By Bethany
at 2016-11-26T12:40

太猛啦XDDD

By Kelly
at 2016-11-29T13:31

哈哈哈哈好像貪吃蛇

By Jack
at 2016-12-02T14:22

XDDD

By Bethany
at 2016-12-05T15:13

大推～～～

By Mason
at 2016-12-08T16:04

喵麗尺

By Oscar
at 2016-12-11T16:55

懶趴震都出來了哈哈哈

By Aaliyah
at 2016-12-14T17:46

太妙啦

By Yuri
at 2016-12-17T18:37

神串留名

By Daniel
at 2016-12-20T19:28

想請妙麗幫我量一下

By Andrew
at 2016-12-23T20:19

推妙麗尺哈哈

By Caroline
at 2016-12-26T21:10

讚!!

By William
at 2016-12-29T22:01

妙麗尺有趣

By Belly
at 2017-01-01T22:53

讚！！

By Irma
at 2017-01-04T23:44

笑死我了

By Michael
at 2017-01-08T00:35

讚

By Odelette
at 2017-01-11T01:26

推符合時事XDDDDD

By Wallis
at 2017-01-14T02:17

笑噴…舞告靠北...XDDDDD

By Lydia
at 2017-01-17T03:08

推妙麗尺XD

By Edwina
at 2017-01-20T03:59

有笑有推...哈哈哈...妙麗尺哩

By Zanna
at 2017-01-23T04:50

這妙麗尺這想的啦 XD

By Lydia
at 2017-01-26T05:41

妙麗尺真實用!!

By Yedda
at 2017-01-29T06:32

By Lucy
at 2017-02-01T07:23

五零機槍

By Andrew
at 2017-02-04T08:14

妙莉尺.......

By Hedy
at 2017-02-07T09:05

哈哈哈哈哈哈

By Ethan
at 2017-02-10T09:56

廢到笑!!

By Anthony
at 2017-02-13T10:47

妙麗尺不是好久以前的了嗎...... 這麼多人沒看過?

By Lucy
at 2017-02-16T11:38

狂！推一個

By Gary
at 2017-02-19T12:29

妙麗尺XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Bethany
at 2017-02-22T13:20

XDDDDDD

By Hamiltion
at 2017-02-25T14:11

推懶趴震

By Poppy
at 2017-02-28T15:02

妙麗恥有點威XD

By Kyle
at 2017-03-03T15:53

笑到在圖書館發抖

By Cara
at 2017-03-06T16:44

幹廢到靠杯 XDDD

By Vanessa
at 2017-03-09T17:35

好笑有推

By Hazel
at 2017-03-12T18:26

XDDDDD

By Donna
at 2017-03-15T19:17

第一次看到妙麗尺www

By Valerie
at 2017-03-18T20:08

妙麗尺笑到廢

By Wallis
at 2017-03-21T20:59

懶趴震笑惹

By Delia
at 2017-03-24T21:50

妙麗尺lol

By Aaliyah
at 2017-03-27T22:41

廢到笑

By Connor
at 2017-03-30T23:32

推！

By Irma
at 2017-04-03T00:23

懶趴震笑歪哈哈哈時事梗太神啦！

By Genevieve
at 2017-04-06T01:14

屌!

By Harry
at 2017-04-09T02:05

優文不得不推~

By Doris
at 2017-04-12T02:56

XDDD

By Frederica
at 2017-04-15T03:47

妙麗尺又被拉出來救援了XD

By Linda
at 2017-04-18T04:38

有妙麗尺有推

By Bennie
at 2017-04-21T05:29

全身都會攪動是貪吃蛇吧哈哈哈

By Mary
at 2017-04-24T06:20

叔叔好文必推！

By Isla
at 2017-04-27T07:11

太神啦！

By Harry
at 2017-04-30T08:02

妙麗尺太可愛啦

By Eartha
at 2017-05-03T08:53

妙麗尺

By Erin
at 2017-05-06T09:44

有神快拜

By Harry
at 2017-05-09T10:35

xDDD

By Zenobia
at 2017-05-12T11:26

有時事有推XDDDDD

By Adele
at 2017-05-15T12:17

妙麗尺超靠爸

By Caitlin
at 2017-05-18T13:08

從嘴巴出來，想到陰道長在背上那部....

By Hedy
at 2017-05-21T13:59

推妙麗尺

By Jacob
at 2017-05-24T14:50

推

By Edward Lewis
at 2017-05-27T15:41

超好笑www

By Ina
at 2017-05-30T16:32

推推

By Rae
at 2017-06-02T17:23

妙麗尺懶趴震哈哈

By Suhail Hany
at 2017-06-05T18:14

妙麗尺XDDDD

By Audriana
at 2017-06-08T19:05

妙麗尺XD..

By Sierra Rose
at 2017-06-11T19:56

等等怎麼沒有頂出天靈蓋的xDD

By Audriana
at 2017-06-14T20:47

推啊太神啦!!!

大家都拿什麼當雞雞的比例尺 - 成人話題討論

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