大家喜歡在公司廁所裡尻嗎? - 成人話題討論

By Ursula
at 2019-11-01T14:10
at 2019-11-01T14:10
Table of Contents
我當兵的時候有個同梯叫威利,是重度手淫成癮患者。
對他來說,尻尻的慾望就像尿意一樣,總是突如其來,並且難以忍耐。
威利每天上班都會躲在廁所裡面偷打手槍,不論是會議進行中、主管訓話間,甚至重要客
戶來訪,只要燃起慾火,他就必須果斷離席,跑到廁所放飛自我。
幾個月前,威利上班時簡報做到一半,突然感到下身一麻,尻意排山倒海般襲來。
他當機立斷衝出了會議室,卻發現附近只有一間女廁。
再也按耐不住的威利只好衝了進去,想要速戰速決。
正當威利坐在馬桶上,一邊尻一邊思索待會該怎麼跟主管解釋時,馬桶突然上有劇烈地震
動了起來。
是地震!
外頭傳來同事們慌亂的尖叫聲,威利還來不及穿上褲子,慌忙站起身,卻被晃得重心不穩
,後腦框啷撞在馬桶水箱上。
地震停止後,四周很快寂靜了下來。
威利想推開門,卻發現有什麼東西從外側壓在了門上。
他很快明白,那是廁間對面的儲藏櫃。
鐵製的儲藏櫃很沉重,將威利牢牢困在廁所裡。
他頭暈目眩,後腦一片濕熱,只好坐在馬桶休息,順便繼續打手槍。
「救……救命啊……有人嗎?」隔壁間傳出了帶著哭腔的女聲。
威利一驚,認出那是公司裡女業務,他暗戀很久的小雯。
「……」他不敢說話,默默地尻著槍。
褲管相互摩擦,發出了悉悉簌簌的聲音。
「有人在隔壁嗎?拜託回答我一下好不好?」
小雯著急地拍打廁所的牆壁,發出碰碰碰的聲音。
「我不想死在這裡,有沒有人啊嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚……」她崩潰地哭了起來。
「有人。」威利無奈地應了聲。
「……威利?」小雯皺眉。
「是我。」威利承認。
「……這裡是女廁。」小雯說。
「抱歉。」
「你在這裡幹嘛。」
「打手槍。」威利羞愧地哆嗦。
小雯沉默了。
不知道過了多久,也許是十分鐘,也許是半小時,威利鼓起勇氣,試著打破尷尬。
「別、別擔心啦,一定會有人來救我們的。」
「你有帶手機嗎?」小雯問。
「沒有。」
「我也沒有。」小雯的語氣很是失望:「只好等人發現我們了。」
兩個人很快又陷入沉默。
「仔細想想,兩個性別不一樣的人在廁所遇到的機率還滿低的吧?」
「……」
「說不定其實我們還滿有緣的?哈、哈哈。」威利乾笑。
「閉嘴。」
他從未感覺到時間如此難熬。
大概兩個小時後,他又想尻尻了。
悉悉簌簌……
「你在幹嘛?」小雯問。
「……」威利脹紅著臉,沒有說話。
「你是不是又在打手槍!」小雯的音調拔高。
「……」
「你這個死變態!等我出去我一定告死你!嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚……」小雯大叫,然後又哭了起來
。
完蛋了,自己一定被小雯討厭了。
威利沮喪地打著手槍,腦袋昏昏沉沉的。
天黑了,救援仍然沒有抵達。
兩人逐漸意識到,災情超乎想像地嚴重。
小雯已經有好一陣子沒發出聲音,也許是哭累了
威利不禁開始擔心她的狀況。
「那個……小雯?」他硬著頭皮開口。
隔壁沒有回應。
「呃……小雯?」威利加大音量又問了一次。
「幹嘛啦?」小雯沒好氣地回吼。
「妳……妳有受傷嗎?」
「沒有。」
「嗯。」威利感到口乾舌燥:「沒、沒事了。」
「……你呢?」
「我……我也沒事。」威利根本不敢摸自己撞破的後腦勺。
知道小雯安好而鬆了一口氣的威利,很快地又硬了。
悉悉簌簌……
「威利?」
悉悉簌簌……
「你這個死變態!都什麼時候了!」小雯簡直快氣瘋了。
夜晚很快過去,兩人坐在馬桶上迎來清晨。
「今天一定會有人來救我們的。」威利試著替小雯打氣。
「嗯。」小雯有氣無力地回應。
然而救援始終沒有到來。
偶爾聽到外頭的動靜,小雯會歇斯底里地發出聲音,想引起救難隊的注意,卻始終沒有被
發現。
直到天黑為止,威利一共尻了五槍。
為了節省體力,兩人沒有再多做交談。
威利的身體越來越虛弱,尻槍的間隔也越來越長。
他覺得口乾舌燥,腦袋又脹又痛,整個人渾渾噩噩的。
遇難第三天,他幾乎是在昏迷中度過。
「喂,你還在嗎?」
「……」
「威利?威利?威利!」小雯不安地叫喚。
「……嗯?」威利氣若游絲地回應。
「我們……我們會不會死在這裡啊?」
「……」
威利沒有回答,他已經連睜開眼睛的力氣都沒有了。
「威利,你出點聲好不好?」
小雯的聲音也很虛弱,看樣子身體也快挺不住了。
這種時候失去求生意志是很危險的。
悉悉簌簌……
威利用僅有的力氣尻起了槍。
悉悉簌簌……
悉悉簌簌……
悉悉簌簌……
他什麼都不會,就只會打手槍。
「謝謝。」小雯用很輕很輕的聲音說道。
這句細不可聞的謝謝,讓威利一整個晚上都沒有停止打手槍。
第四天早上,救難隊經過的時候,終於注意到小雯的求救聲,將兩人刨出崩塌的廢墟。
原來公司大樓已經坍塌了一半,兩人一直卡在廁間中才免於罹難。
威利被挖出來的時候已經因為失血過多而昏迷。
但他仍然握著懶叫,緩慢卻堅定地抽動著。
悉悉簌簌……悉悉簌簌……
小雯這才發現,原來威利一直忍著嚴重的傷勢,用尻尻的陪伴著自己、鼓勵著自己。
她也許一輩子都不會承認,是這個聲音讓自己熬過漫長的三天時間。
兩人受到醫療救治後,一周左右就康復了。
公司換了臨時的辦公室,很快恢復運作。
那次事件過後,小雯再也沒有和威利說過話,工作要務也都請同事代為傳達。
威利仍然過著每天被主管臭幹、偶爾偷跑到廁所打手槍的生活,彷彿一切從未發生。
唯一不同的是,他再也不敢到女廁打手槍。
幾個月後的某天下午,公司為了慶祝辦公室重建完成,大家決定提早下班,一起去外面聚
餐。
威利一如往常地沒有參加活動,而是留在公司剛整修好的廁所裡打手槍。
人去樓空的公司萬籟俱寂,只剩下威利打手槍的聲音。
悉悉簌簌……
悉悉簌簌……
悉悉簌簌……
也許自己獨自一人在廁所裡打一輩子的手槍吧?威利心想。
悉悉簌簌……
悉悉簌簌……
悉悉簌簌……
叩叩叩。
隔壁有人敲了敲廁所的牆壁。
「威利嗎?」
威利心頭一驚。
不是所有人都去聚餐了嗎?
「我一直在想,兩個性別不同的人,在廁所遇到的機率到底有多少呢?」
明明是男廁,隔壁卻傳來女生的聲音。
「你知不知道,我在這裡等多久了?」
□
這就是我朋友在公司廁所尻尻的經歷,供您參考。
※ 引述《VVizZ (我很窮)》之銘言:
: 欸欸各位
: 我是蠻常在公司廁所裡尻的啦
: 因為在家偷尻的話被老婆發現會很不方便
: 但公司廁所就是屎尿味比較討厭
: 雖然自己也是會順便拉個屎
: 可是隔壁的屎味傳過來就比較不能接受
: 那呢
: 有時候隔壁沒屎味
: 感覺西西酥酥的沒在拉屎
: 那肯定是也在尻
: 這問題就來了
: 如果比他早尻完出去
: 好像就輸了
: 如果一起出去
: 這樣大家心照不宣都在尻
: 好像很尷尬
: 只能比他晚
: 最安全
: 哀競爭心態就是這樣
: 常常弄很久出不去被主管抓到
: 該怎麼辦好呢
--
Tags:
成人
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at 2020-05-12T17:40

By Olga
at 2020-05-14T03:15
at 2020-05-14T03:15

By Ingrid
at 2020-05-15T12:51
at 2020-05-15T12:51

By Isabella
at 2020-05-16T22:26
at 2020-05-16T22:26

By Rosalind
at 2020-05-18T08:02
at 2020-05-18T08:02

By Rosalind
at 2020-05-19T17:37
at 2020-05-19T17:37

By Olivia
at 2020-05-21T03:12
at 2020-05-21T03:12

By Una
at 2020-05-22T12:48
at 2020-05-22T12:48

By Frederica
at 2020-05-23T22:23
at 2020-05-23T22:23

By Kumar
at 2020-05-25T07:59
at 2020-05-25T07:59

By Michael
at 2020-05-26T17:34
at 2020-05-26T17:34

By John
at 2020-05-28T03:10
at 2020-05-28T03:10

By Edwina
at 2020-05-29T12:45
at 2020-05-29T12:45

By Sandy
at 2020-05-30T22:20
at 2020-05-30T22:20

By Ula
at 2020-06-01T07:56
at 2020-06-01T07:56

By Frederica
at 2020-06-02T17:31
at 2020-06-02T17:31

By Heather
at 2020-06-04T03:07
at 2020-06-04T03:07

By Edith
at 2020-06-05T12:42
at 2020-06-05T12:42

By Quanna
at 2020-06-06T22:18
at 2020-06-06T22:18

By Aaliyah
at 2020-06-08T07:53
at 2020-06-08T07:53

By Ivy
at 2020-06-09T17:29
at 2020-06-09T17:29

By Lydia
at 2020-06-11T03:04
at 2020-06-11T03:04

By Caroline
at 2020-06-12T12:39
at 2020-06-12T12:39

By Jessica
at 2020-06-13T22:15
at 2020-06-13T22:15

By Candice
at 2020-06-15T07:50
at 2020-06-15T07:50

By Ophelia
at 2020-06-16T17:26
at 2020-06-16T17:26

By Lily
at 2020-06-18T03:01
at 2020-06-18T03:01

By Agnes
at 2020-06-19T12:37
at 2020-06-19T12:37

By Poppy
at 2020-06-20T22:12
at 2020-06-20T22:12

By Caroline
at 2020-06-22T07:47
at 2020-06-22T07:47

By Freda
at 2020-06-23T17:23
at 2020-06-23T17:23

By Hedwig
at 2020-06-25T02:58
at 2020-06-25T02:58

By Leila
at 2020-06-26T12:34
at 2020-06-26T12:34

By Genevieve
at 2020-06-27T22:09
at 2020-06-27T22:09

By Bennie
at 2020-06-29T07:45
at 2020-06-29T07:45

By Doris
at 2020-06-30T17:20
at 2020-06-30T17:20

By Kumar
at 2020-07-02T02:55
at 2020-07-02T02:55

By Dora
at 2020-07-03T12:31
at 2020-07-03T12:31

By Oscar
at 2020-07-04T22:06
at 2020-07-04T22:06

By Elvira
at 2020-07-06T07:42
at 2020-07-06T07:42

By George
at 2020-07-07T17:17
at 2020-07-07T17:17

By George
at 2020-07-09T02:53
at 2020-07-09T02:53

By Blanche
at 2020-07-10T12:28
at 2020-07-10T12:28

By Andy
at 2020-07-11T22:03
at 2020-07-11T22:03

By Hedda
at 2020-07-13T07:39
at 2020-07-13T07:39

By Oscar
at 2020-07-14T17:14
at 2020-07-14T17:14

By Jacky
at 2020-07-16T02:50
at 2020-07-16T02:50

By Kristin
at 2020-07-17T12:25
at 2020-07-17T12:25

By Lauren
at 2020-07-18T22:01
at 2020-07-18T22:01

By Tom
at 2020-07-20T07:36
at 2020-07-20T07:36

By Heather
at 2020-07-21T17:12
at 2020-07-21T17:12

By Adele
at 2020-07-23T02:47
at 2020-07-23T02:47

By Isla
at 2020-07-24T12:22
at 2020-07-24T12:22

By Brianna
at 2020-07-25T21:58
at 2020-07-25T21:58

By Ingrid
at 2020-07-27T07:33
at 2020-07-27T07:33

By Tristan Cohan
at 2020-07-28T17:09
at 2020-07-28T17:09

By Jacob
at 2020-07-30T02:44
at 2020-07-30T02:44

By Tristan Cohan
at 2020-07-31T12:20
at 2020-07-31T12:20

By Queena
at 2020-08-01T21:55
at 2020-08-01T21:55

By Yuri
at 2020-08-03T07:30
at 2020-08-03T07:30

By Jacob
at 2020-08-04T17:06
at 2020-08-04T17:06

By Valerie
at 2020-08-06T02:41
at 2020-08-06T02:41

By Madame
at 2020-08-07T12:17
at 2020-08-07T12:17

By Belly
at 2020-08-08T21:52
at 2020-08-08T21:52

By Rachel
at 2020-08-10T07:28
at 2020-08-10T07:28

By Poppy
at 2020-08-11T17:03
at 2020-08-11T17:03

By Isabella
at 2020-08-13T02:38
at 2020-08-13T02:38

By Edwina
at 2020-08-14T12:14
at 2020-08-14T12:14

By Jessica
at 2020-08-15T21:49
at 2020-08-15T21:49

By Dinah
at 2020-08-17T07:25
at 2020-08-17T07:25

By Audriana
at 2020-08-18T17:00
at 2020-08-18T17:00

By Edith
at 2020-08-20T02:36
at 2020-08-20T02:36

By Carolina Franco
at 2020-08-21T12:11
at 2020-08-21T12:11

By Edwina
at 2020-08-22T21:46
at 2020-08-22T21:46

By Donna
at 2020-08-24T07:22
at 2020-08-24T07:22

By Madame
at 2020-08-25T16:57
at 2020-08-25T16:57

By Adele
at 2020-08-27T02:33
at 2020-08-27T02:33

By Selena
at 2020-08-28T12:08
at 2020-08-28T12:08

By Dinah
at 2020-08-29T21:44
at 2020-08-29T21:44

By Ula
at 2020-08-31T07:19
at 2020-08-31T07:19

By Necoo
at 2020-09-01T16:55
at 2020-09-01T16:55

By Barb Cronin
at 2020-09-03T02:30
at 2020-09-03T02:30

By Elma
at 2020-09-04T12:05
at 2020-09-04T12:05

By Xanthe
at 2020-09-05T21:41
at 2020-09-05T21:41

By Lily
at 2020-09-07T07:16
at 2020-09-07T07:16

By Valerie
at 2020-09-08T16:52
at 2020-09-08T16:52

By Mason
at 2020-09-10T02:27
at 2020-09-10T02:27

By Susan
at 2020-09-11T12:03
at 2020-09-11T12:03

By Edith
at 2020-09-12T21:38
at 2020-09-12T21:38

By Suhail Hany
at 2020-09-14T07:13
at 2020-09-14T07:13

By Freda
at 2020-09-15T16:49
at 2020-09-15T16:49

By Rae
at 2020-09-17T02:24
at 2020-09-17T02:24

By Doris
at 2020-09-18T12:00
at 2020-09-18T12:00

By Bethany
at 2020-09-19T21:35
at 2020-09-19T21:35

By Jake
at 2020-09-21T07:11
at 2020-09-21T07:11

By Queena
at 2020-09-22T16:46
at 2020-09-22T16:46

By Eartha
at 2020-09-24T02:21
at 2020-09-24T02:21

By Damian
at 2020-09-25T11:57
at 2020-09-25T11:57

By Bennie
at 2020-09-26T21:32
at 2020-09-26T21:32

By Anonymous
at 2020-09-28T07:08
at 2020-09-28T07:08

By Emily
at 2020-09-29T16:43
at 2020-09-29T16:43

By Liam
at 2020-10-01T02:19
at 2020-10-01T02:19

By Jessica
at 2020-10-02T11:54
at 2020-10-02T11:54

By George
at 2020-10-03T21:29
at 2020-10-03T21:29

By Tracy
at 2020-10-05T07:05
at 2020-10-05T07:05

By Linda
at 2020-10-06T16:40
at 2020-10-06T16:40

By Anthony
at 2020-10-08T02:16
at 2020-10-08T02:16

By Rachel
at 2020-10-09T11:51
at 2020-10-09T11:51

By Rebecca
at 2020-10-10T21:27
at 2020-10-10T21:27

By Blanche
at 2020-10-12T07:02
at 2020-10-12T07:02

By Odelette
at 2020-10-13T16:38
at 2020-10-13T16:38

By Gilbert
at 2020-10-15T02:13
at 2020-10-15T02:13

By Harry
at 2020-10-16T11:48
at 2020-10-16T11:48

By Caroline
at 2020-10-17T21:24
at 2020-10-17T21:24

By Iris
at 2020-10-19T06:59
at 2020-10-19T06:59

By Thomas
at 2020-10-20T16:35
at 2020-10-20T16:35

By Queena
at 2020-10-22T02:10
at 2020-10-22T02:10

By Zora
at 2020-10-23T11:46
at 2020-10-23T11:46

By Robert
at 2020-10-24T21:21
at 2020-10-24T21:21

By Agnes
at 2020-10-26T06:56
at 2020-10-26T06:56

By Suhail Hany
at 2020-10-27T16:32
at 2020-10-27T16:32

By Daniel
at 2020-10-29T02:07
at 2020-10-29T02:07

By Queena
at 2020-10-30T11:43
at 2020-10-30T11:43

By Rosalind
at 2020-10-31T21:18
at 2020-10-31T21:18

By Damian
at 2020-11-02T06:54
at 2020-11-02T06:54

By Mason
at 2020-11-03T16:29
at 2020-11-03T16:29

By Christine
at 2020-11-05T02:04
at 2020-11-05T02:04

By Damian
at 2020-11-06T11:40
at 2020-11-06T11:40

By Sierra Rose
at 2020-11-07T21:15
at 2020-11-07T21:15

By Iris
at 2020-11-09T06:51
at 2020-11-09T06:51

By Zanna
at 2020-11-10T16:26
at 2020-11-10T16:26

By Tristan Cohan
at 2020-11-12T02:02
at 2020-11-12T02:02

By Frederica
at 2020-11-13T11:37
at 2020-11-13T11:37

By Zanna
at 2020-11-14T21:12
at 2020-11-14T21:12

By Yuri
at 2020-11-16T06:48
at 2020-11-16T06:48

By Oliver
at 2020-11-17T16:23
at 2020-11-17T16:23

By Sandy
at 2020-11-19T01:59
at 2020-11-19T01:59

By Ina
at 2020-11-20T11:34
at 2020-11-20T11:34

By Audriana
at 2020-11-21T21:10
at 2020-11-21T21:10

By Sandy
at 2020-11-23T06:45
at 2020-11-23T06:45

By Emma
at 2020-11-24T16:21
at 2020-11-24T16:21

By Vanessa
at 2020-11-26T01:56
at 2020-11-26T01:56

By Doris
at 2020-11-27T11:31
at 2020-11-27T11:31

By Barb Cronin
at 2020-11-28T21:07
at 2020-11-28T21:07

By Gary
at 2020-11-30T06:42
at 2020-11-30T06:42

By Doris
at 2020-12-01T16:18
at 2020-12-01T16:18

By Bennie
at 2020-12-03T01:53
at 2020-12-03T01:53

By Lucy
at 2020-12-04T11:29
at 2020-12-04T11:29

By Zora
at 2020-12-05T21:04
at 2020-12-05T21:04
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