不要讓女伴和gay朋友同桌吃飯 - 成人話題討論

By Agnes
at 2014-06-28T03:34
at 2014-06-28T03:34
Table of Contents
最近發生一件慘劇
請聽小弟娓娓道來
害小弟憂鬱到連文都不想發,西斯版都不想上...
基本上,只是交朋友的話,一向都廣結善緣!
只要不要那種小人會陷害人的朋友我都很歡迎。
儘管他是gay,反正只要他不要喜歡上我,我都可以當好兄弟看待。
就像我和女生也能像好哥們一樣,只要互相沒喜歡上對方就好了!
所以說,誰說.......gay不會有男生朋友哩...
我身邊就有幾個朋友是gay!
當你有個gay朋友其實好處很多的,
很多gay都是妹頭,就是說他會有很多好姊妹(女性)
gay尤其受女生歡迎,然後對他們比較沒有戒心。
大概抱持著,反正他不會去追她們把她們造成困擾這樣!
很多gay也都蠻帥的,又瘋又愛玩!
有party &KTV 或一群朋友大家出去玩,都超熱鬧的!
然後他們都能約一堆妹仔出來。
gay朋友的女性好友很多都神正!!
也或許和我那幾個GAY朋友的職業有關啦。
他們的職業大多都是美髮造型師或者調酒師之類的。
接觸女性的機會很多,尤其是正妹。
但奇怪的是,卻在那麼美好的環境下竟然會變gay(攤手
如果我是在那個環境下工作的話
大概早就被報警送進警察局了吧!
好,這篇不是自介文,也不是歧視文,更不是我變成gay的文
事情是這樣發生的......
有一個星期四的晚上,一群朋友約了一間火鍋店吃飯(花雕雞鍋好好吃!!!
8個人,除了我和另外一個男生性向正常外,還有2個gay和4個女生
大家邊吃邊聊誰誰誰的八卦,誰誰誰的糗事,誰誰誰的媽媽也在玩神魔之塔
我一個女生朋友,當場抽到我笑想很久的"魔鏡皇后"
氣到我當下怒儲60顆加上原本的40幾顆現場神魔20抽
。。。。。。
然後最後都分解掉了換了一千靈魂QQ
大家扯來扯去,後來有兩個男生,穿著西裝打領帶,一臉剛下班的樣子一起進來吃
有個gay朋友就大聲的說
"哇! 那個男的超帥的"
大家順者目光看過去,感覺很高,穩健的短髮還抓了造型
一身黑色西裝一身勁裝,露出漂亮工整的皮帶濃眉大眼的
乍看之下還真有點像吳克群,真的還蠻帥的
隱隱中還真有那麼點 督教授的感覺
看的那個GAY超想督他的阿
一群女生當然也愛看帥哥,就雞哩瓜拉的討論起來
關於怎麼兩個帥哥會一起來吃飯,我覺得,就同事一起吃
當然他們仔細觀察gay一臉失望說。。。
"可惜他不是我的圈圈裡的人。。。"
"看的我都濕了" 。。。。。。= =|||
女生就在那邊起哄叫他去要電話,但是那個朋友就是不敢衝
其中有兩個女生說,
"不然我們兩個過去幫你搭訕他啊"
其他人也覺得,那兩個女生那麼正,一定不會被打槍
也一定可以順利讓那個GAY幫他打槍(?
總而言之大家起鬨來起鬨去誰也沒膽向那個混和吳克群和督教授的帥哥搭訕
聊著聊著越聊越A,有個女生朋友就問他們
當gay真的那麼爽嗎?你就沒吃過女生嗎?
"有啊!之前有被瞎妹倒追過,也吃過啊"
"我高中的時候有交過女朋友啊"
這兩個GAY如此說著
"反正刺激程度絕對是和女生比不上的"
"你看很多A片也都有肛交情節啊!就知道那有多爽了"
大家笑得亂七八糟! "真的" "對啊" "好像是耶"
的回答不絕於耳
gay看場子那麼HIGH越說越起勁
到底有多爽? 差在哪裡?
他神祕的一笑
"只有男人才懂男人想要的感覺是什麼"
"少在那邊" "最好啦" "我男友都說我很厲害啊"
"那是因為你男友沒被我幹過好嘛!如果被我幹過他就和你分手了啦!!"
gay如此的嗆回去
讓我想起數則新聞,大致上在說,女生抓姦意外發現小三是男的
或者結婚20年不知老公是同性戀之類的
-----以下節錄gay朋友說gay有多爽-----
很多女生根本體力很差啊,口交又隨便,作愛也只會躺下張開腿
女上男下的姿勢很多就像發不動的機車一樣
嘎嘎嘎嘎 嘎嘎嘎嘎 嘎嘎嘎嘎 嘎嘎嘎嘎
搖沒兩下就沒力軟掉了!
又常常怪男生前戲不足,很多時候根本就是前戲做到一半
女生自己就說快進來,不然就是自己握者就放進去了
根本愛享受又愛靠杯,超愛嫌的阿!
在上面幹那麼辛苦,根本不知感恩!作愛就千篇一律超無趣的!
因為男生射出來就不好玩了,所以前面的調情就很多!
(抱歉我不太想敘述兩個男人怎麼調情怎麼玩的。。。。請原諒
然後因為知道口交有多爽,都懂得拿捏分寸,怎樣又爽又不會讓對方射出來
口交不止是舔懶覺而已,還有肚子肩膀啊!啊!
尤其是有腹肌的舔起來超有感覺(意義不明?
而且屁股每天在夾大便,緊度絕對不是那些鬆鮑魚可以比的!!
再緊也沒他屁眼緊(? 再度意義不明
有時候對方貼心一點,還會一邊幹一邊捏你奶頭(?
一邊幹一邊打手槍(? 對不起 我敘述到自己都覺得不舒服
你都不知道緊緊夾住對方懶覺傳來的抽插感有多爽
有時候自己打手槍,有時候對方幫他打真的是完全的享受(我不知道。。。
真的是雙重刺激雙重感受啊!!
簡直就是同時享受女生鮑魚的感覺也享受到你懶覺的!!
此時眾人一臉半信半疑,一臉不可置信的樣子
火鍋都快吃不下去了(噁
"下次你們一邊打手槍一邊挖鼻孔就知道有多爽了啦!!還比那爽十倍"
[我沒這麼幹過。。。下次考慮考慮]我語長心重的回答
坐在斜對角和姊妹一起坐的Dora和那群女生笑得不可置否
"你說要考慮跟我們體驗看看嗎?" 那個gay一臉驚奇的像是發現新大陸一樣
[靠杯!!不是好不好!我是說一邊挖鼻孔一邊。。。的部分啦!]
他就像哥倫布以為他發現了印度實際上是發現了美洲一樣失望
不過仍不死心
的再那邊遊說我說,真的啦 好處很多 保證我絕對不會後悔之類的!
我就堅持的說打死我都不會讓別人肛我的!!!
此時喵向Dora,她卻一邊低著頭夾火鍋料,那樣子氣質非凡
突然她眼睛看向我,露出不知道是狡獪還是怎樣的奇怪微笑
笑得我心裡發寒
我趕緊轉移話題,繼續努力吃著另一邊的麻辣火鍋!
分開後大家在店門口各自到別,我開車去的!Dora坐捷運
因為朋友都不知道我和她的關係,所以她也就假裝要去搭捷運
甩開了幾個順路的朋友,走和大家反方向的地方到了附近一間7-11
的店門口的椅子上坐在那邊等我開車繞過去接她!
之後就往她家住處開去
當然免不了打了一砲,結束以後
她靠在我肩頭滑著她的NOTE3,而我在跑跑薑餅人!
一邊看著swrss的文章笑的根白癡一樣。
一旁的Dora好像再認真的看啥,轉過去看
她神速的藏起手機,心虛的笑了出來
"看屁啊!"
[給我看啦!藏什麼!!]
"不要啦"
幾經扭打後,最後以絕招"搔癢"取勝
拿過來一看
靠杯啊!!這不是情趣用品的網站嘛!!
一堆不堪入目的淫穢廣告詞和拙劣的GIF動畫圖
畫面停留在
‵女性穿戴用陽具‵上
[靠杯啊!!!你看這個幹嘛啊!!你想幹嘛啊啊啊]
"沒有啊!他(GAY)說的好像很舒服一樣,想也讓你體驗一下啊"
[靠杯不準!不可以!千萬不要!我認真的!千!萬!不!要!]
我努力的義正嚴詞的反對著!堅定我的立場守護我的貞操
而她各種溫聲柔語嗲聲嗲氣的拜託請求!
當然都被我強烈駁回!!
以為這件事就告一段落了!!
沒想到這記仇的女人,因為我有一次因為看到拳交的A片
然後也想把手伸進去,最後只伸進3隻手指,在裡面努力撐開弄鬆
最後還弄傷她,之後那幾次儘管還有傷,還是沒拒絕和我上床
在兩個多禮拜後的周六,我去找她時
她拿這件事當要脅,說自己多麼犧牲奉獻。。。流血流淚的付出
沒想到換來我無情沒血沒淚的拒絕。。。半推半就下。。
[不對不對不對啊!!我還沒準備好啊!!給我點心理準備啊啊]
[不是這樣的阿 我感覺哪裡怪怪的!不要了啦!!]
[不對啦! 我還是覺得不太好啊啊啊啊]
[啊啊啊拿出來 怪怪的阿!!!]
[那個太長了啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啊啦!!]
[超怪的啦!!我不要了啦啦啦啦]
[我感覺頂到胃了啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊噁]
[呃呃呃呃呃˙呃呃呃˙呃呃呃呃˙呃ˊ這感覺不對啊啊啊]
[啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊]
[啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊]
[啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊<3]
[啊.....啊.....啊.......]
QQ
嗚嗚嗚 媽 你兒子再也不純潔了....
嗚嗚嗚 我的處男(? 嗚嗚嗚嗚QQ
所以說千萬別讓你的女伴和GAY有交流...緊記僅記...
以上真實血淚分享
--
真正的男人 不管做什麼事都要很專業
就算是一件無聊的事情
By 神人魔生
--
請聽小弟娓娓道來
害小弟憂鬱到連文都不想發,西斯版都不想上...
基本上,只是交朋友的話,一向都廣結善緣!
只要不要那種小人會陷害人的朋友我都很歡迎。
儘管他是gay,反正只要他不要喜歡上我,我都可以當好兄弟看待。
就像我和女生也能像好哥們一樣,只要互相沒喜歡上對方就好了!
所以說,誰說.......gay不會有男生朋友哩...
我身邊就有幾個朋友是gay!
當你有個gay朋友其實好處很多的,
很多gay都是妹頭,就是說他會有很多好姊妹(女性)
gay尤其受女生歡迎,然後對他們比較沒有戒心。
大概抱持著,反正他不會去追她們把她們造成困擾這樣!
很多gay也都蠻帥的,又瘋又愛玩!
有party &KTV 或一群朋友大家出去玩,都超熱鬧的!
然後他們都能約一堆妹仔出來。
gay朋友的女性好友很多都神正!!
也或許和我那幾個GAY朋友的職業有關啦。
他們的職業大多都是美髮造型師或者調酒師之類的。
接觸女性的機會很多,尤其是正妹。
但奇怪的是,卻在那麼美好的環境下竟然會變gay(攤手
如果我是在那個環境下工作的話
大概早就被報警送進警察局了吧!
好,這篇不是自介文,也不是歧視文,更不是我變成gay的文
事情是這樣發生的......
有一個星期四的晚上,一群朋友約了一間火鍋店吃飯(花雕雞鍋好好吃!!!
8個人,除了我和另外一個男生性向正常外,還有2個gay和4個女生
大家邊吃邊聊誰誰誰的八卦,誰誰誰的糗事,誰誰誰的媽媽也在玩神魔之塔
我一個女生朋友,當場抽到我笑想很久的"魔鏡皇后"
氣到我當下怒儲60顆加上原本的40幾顆現場神魔20抽
。。。。。。
然後最後都分解掉了換了一千靈魂QQ
大家扯來扯去,後來有兩個男生,穿著西裝打領帶,一臉剛下班的樣子一起進來吃
有個gay朋友就大聲的說
"哇! 那個男的超帥的"
大家順者目光看過去,感覺很高,穩健的短髮還抓了造型
一身黑色西裝一身勁裝,露出漂亮工整的皮帶濃眉大眼的
乍看之下還真有點像吳克群,真的還蠻帥的
隱隱中還真有那麼點 督教授的感覺
看的那個GAY超想督他的阿
一群女生當然也愛看帥哥,就雞哩瓜拉的討論起來
關於怎麼兩個帥哥會一起來吃飯,我覺得,就同事一起吃
當然他們仔細觀察gay一臉失望說。。。
"可惜他不是我的圈圈裡的人。。。"
"看的我都濕了" 。。。。。。= =|||
女生就在那邊起哄叫他去要電話,但是那個朋友就是不敢衝
其中有兩個女生說,
"不然我們兩個過去幫你搭訕他啊"
其他人也覺得,那兩個女生那麼正,一定不會被打槍
也一定可以順利讓那個GAY幫他打槍(?
總而言之大家起鬨來起鬨去誰也沒膽向那個混和吳克群和督教授的帥哥搭訕
聊著聊著越聊越A,有個女生朋友就問他們
當gay真的那麼爽嗎?你就沒吃過女生嗎?
"有啊!之前有被瞎妹倒追過,也吃過啊"
"我高中的時候有交過女朋友啊"
這兩個GAY如此說著
"反正刺激程度絕對是和女生比不上的"
"你看很多A片也都有肛交情節啊!就知道那有多爽了"
大家笑得亂七八糟! "真的" "對啊" "好像是耶"
的回答不絕於耳
gay看場子那麼HIGH越說越起勁
到底有多爽? 差在哪裡?
他神祕的一笑
"只有男人才懂男人想要的感覺是什麼"
"少在那邊" "最好啦" "我男友都說我很厲害啊"
"那是因為你男友沒被我幹過好嘛!如果被我幹過他就和你分手了啦!!"
gay如此的嗆回去
讓我想起數則新聞,大致上在說,女生抓姦意外發現小三是男的
或者結婚20年不知老公是同性戀之類的
-----以下節錄gay朋友說gay有多爽-----
很多女生根本體力很差啊,口交又隨便,作愛也只會躺下張開腿
女上男下的姿勢很多就像發不動的機車一樣
嘎嘎嘎嘎 嘎嘎嘎嘎 嘎嘎嘎嘎 嘎嘎嘎嘎
搖沒兩下就沒力軟掉了!
又常常怪男生前戲不足,很多時候根本就是前戲做到一半
女生自己就說快進來,不然就是自己握者就放進去了
根本愛享受又愛靠杯,超愛嫌的阿!
在上面幹那麼辛苦,根本不知感恩!作愛就千篇一律超無趣的!
因為男生射出來就不好玩了,所以前面的調情就很多!
(抱歉我不太想敘述兩個男人怎麼調情怎麼玩的。。。。請原諒
然後因為知道口交有多爽,都懂得拿捏分寸,怎樣又爽又不會讓對方射出來
口交不止是舔懶覺而已,還有肚子肩膀啊!啊!
尤其是有腹肌的舔起來超有感覺(意義不明?
而且屁股每天在夾大便,緊度絕對不是那些鬆鮑魚可以比的!!
再緊也沒他屁眼緊(? 再度意義不明
有時候對方貼心一點,還會一邊幹一邊捏你奶頭(?
一邊幹一邊打手槍(? 對不起 我敘述到自己都覺得不舒服
你都不知道緊緊夾住對方懶覺傳來的抽插感有多爽
有時候自己打手槍,有時候對方幫他打真的是完全的享受(我不知道。。。
真的是雙重刺激雙重感受啊!!
簡直就是同時享受女生鮑魚的感覺也享受到你懶覺的!!
此時眾人一臉半信半疑,一臉不可置信的樣子
火鍋都快吃不下去了(噁
"下次你們一邊打手槍一邊挖鼻孔就知道有多爽了啦!!還比那爽十倍"
[我沒這麼幹過。。。下次考慮考慮]我語長心重的回答
坐在斜對角和姊妹一起坐的Dora和那群女生笑得不可置否
"你說要考慮跟我們體驗看看嗎?" 那個gay一臉驚奇的像是發現新大陸一樣
[靠杯!!不是好不好!我是說一邊挖鼻孔一邊。。。的部分啦!]
他就像哥倫布以為他發現了印度實際上是發現了美洲一樣失望
不過仍不死心
的再那邊遊說我說,真的啦 好處很多 保證我絕對不會後悔之類的!
我就堅持的說打死我都不會讓別人肛我的!!!
此時喵向Dora,她卻一邊低著頭夾火鍋料,那樣子氣質非凡
突然她眼睛看向我,露出不知道是狡獪還是怎樣的奇怪微笑
笑得我心裡發寒
我趕緊轉移話題,繼續努力吃著另一邊的麻辣火鍋!
分開後大家在店門口各自到別,我開車去的!Dora坐捷運
因為朋友都不知道我和她的關係,所以她也就假裝要去搭捷運
甩開了幾個順路的朋友,走和大家反方向的地方到了附近一間7-11
的店門口的椅子上坐在那邊等我開車繞過去接她!
之後就往她家住處開去
當然免不了打了一砲,結束以後
她靠在我肩頭滑著她的NOTE3,而我在跑跑薑餅人!
一邊看著swrss的文章笑的根白癡一樣。
一旁的Dora好像再認真的看啥,轉過去看
她神速的藏起手機,心虛的笑了出來
"看屁啊!"
[給我看啦!藏什麼!!]
"不要啦"
幾經扭打後,最後以絕招"搔癢"取勝
拿過來一看
靠杯啊!!這不是情趣用品的網站嘛!!
一堆不堪入目的淫穢廣告詞和拙劣的GIF動畫圖
畫面停留在
‵女性穿戴用陽具‵上
[靠杯啊!!!你看這個幹嘛啊!!你想幹嘛啊啊啊]
"沒有啊!他(GAY)說的好像很舒服一樣,想也讓你體驗一下啊"
[靠杯不準!不可以!千萬不要!我認真的!千!萬!不!要!]
我努力的義正嚴詞的反對著!堅定我的立場守護我的貞操
而她各種溫聲柔語嗲聲嗲氣的拜託請求!
當然都被我強烈駁回!!
以為這件事就告一段落了!!
沒想到這記仇的女人,因為我有一次因為看到拳交的A片
然後也想把手伸進去,最後只伸進3隻手指,在裡面努力撐開弄鬆
最後還弄傷她,之後那幾次儘管還有傷,還是沒拒絕和我上床
在兩個多禮拜後的周六,我去找她時
她拿這件事當要脅,說自己多麼犧牲奉獻。。。流血流淚的付出
沒想到換來我無情沒血沒淚的拒絕。。。半推半就下。。
[不對不對不對啊!!我還沒準備好啊!!給我點心理準備啊啊]
[不是這樣的阿 我感覺哪裡怪怪的!不要了啦!!]
[不對啦! 我還是覺得不太好啊啊啊啊]
[啊啊啊拿出來 怪怪的阿!!!]
[那個太長了啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啊啦!!]
[超怪的啦!!我不要了啦啦啦啦]
[我感覺頂到胃了啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊噁]
[呃呃呃呃呃˙呃呃呃˙呃呃呃呃˙呃ˊ這感覺不對啊啊啊]
[啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊]
[啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊]
[啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊<3]
[啊.....啊.....啊.......]
QQ
嗚嗚嗚 媽 你兒子再也不純潔了....
嗚嗚嗚 我的處男(? 嗚嗚嗚嗚QQ
所以說千萬別讓你的女伴和GAY有交流...緊記僅記...
以上真實血淚分享
--
真正的男人 不管做什麼事都要很專業
就算是一件無聊的事情
By 神人魔生
--
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at 2016-03-19T21:58
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at 2016-04-19T20:02
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at 2016-04-22T22:15
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at 2016-04-26T00:27
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at 2016-05-05T07:05
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at 2016-05-11T11:30
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at 2016-05-14T13:42
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at 2016-05-17T15:54
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at 2016-05-23T20:19
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