《前傳》在她之前-1 - 成人話題討論

By Rosalind
at 2017-05-21T01:03
at 2017-05-21T01:03
Table of Contents
大家晚安。
我又來發廢文了。
看到文章《[討論] 大學跟幾個女生發生性經驗算是正常》我不禁想到,我大學
的求學生涯前半段其實很單純,一直到大三前,只有當時的女朋友,累積經驗人
數:1。
附上本次文章時間軸。
http://imgur.com/a/rxSfu
-本文開始-
震耳欲聾的音樂,舞池裡的男女們跟著音樂擺動身體,或有人忘情擁抱,也有男
女肆意的交換唾液,舌頭交纏。
我跟潔西卡還有她的同事們來信義區的夜店放鬆,與其說是放鬆,不如說是為了
她們的工作告一段落而慶祝,十月底,正是旁邊百貨公司週年慶結束的日子。
為了慶祝業績達成,她們相約到離公司相距不到50公尺的夜店狂歡,百貨公司
美妝專櫃每次都是週年慶的主要戰場,雖然客單價不算高,但勝在量大,也不乏
客人幾萬幾萬的在掃購化妝、保養品,甚至是十幾萬的在購買。
潔西卡與她的同事們正在舞池內宣洩一個月來的壓力,似乎跟著音樂大吼,可以
把存在體內不知名器官內的壓力傾倒殆盡。
桌上杯盤狼藉,各式各樣的調酒、香檳散亂,透明的玻璃杯上還印著某個女孩
的唇印,唇印上隱有脈絡般的細紋令人遐想。
「AQ!你幹嘛不跟我們一起下去?裡面超多鹹豬手的,再不來潔西卡就要被人
吃豆腐了喔。」
潔西卡她們的櫃長拉著我,要拖我去舞池。她是個26、7歲的姐姐,平常很照顧
潔西卡,白色碎花的洋裝下玲瓏有緻的身材,讓隔壁的包廂的幾個男生看得乾瞪
眼,甚至還忌妒的看著我。
忌妒個屁!
一行人當晚在夜店喝得七葷八素,連潔西卡也吐了好幾次,充當護花使者的我除
了在舞池時當她們的貼身保鑣,其他時候幾乎都只是笑著看她們嬉鬧、喝酒、然
後扶她們去廁所或是夜店外嘔吐。
好不容易把喝醉的同事送回家,天空已魚肚泛白,看看時間已近五點。
我看著車上熟睡的潔西卡,帶著她就近找了間MOTEL休息,打算瞇著三小時再
回去上課。我跟潔西卡是國中時期的同學,後來潔西卡因為家裡經濟因素不得不
放棄升學去工作,高中學歷只能學些美妝、美容的相關專業,進入了百貨公司這
個大染缸。
交往六年了,也是潔西卡進入社會的第四年,雖然我們的感情還是蠻好的,但總
覺得兩人之間慢慢得有了一些隔閡,對事、金錢、朋友的觀念有了些分歧。
好不容易把潔西卡扛進了房間內丟在床上,幫她脫掉高跟鞋,褪去沾了嘔吐物的
絲襪,讓她可以睡得舒服一點。
我坐在床沿,靜靜盯著潔西卡,看著她在睡夢中似乎也擰著眉頭,掛在眼簾上
的假睫毛微微顫抖,似乎剛剛令人耳鳴的重低音未能讓她宣洩所有的壓力。
我進廁所拿了條毛巾沾水,想幫潔西卡擦拭一下臉頰。忽然她的包包內傳來手機
的簡訊聲,我從包包裡把手機拿出來,打開手機。
原本以為是她同事平安到家的回報簡訊,沒想到看到的內容卻與我預期的相去甚
遠。
「我喜歡妳那天在床上淫蕩的模樣,下次我想射在妳的嘴裡。」
傳送簡訊的人是她們公司的主任。
至今我仍無法形容當下的感覺,我呆立在床邊,滿懷期望的告訴自己,或許是傳
錯了,我發了瘋似的把她手機內的簡訊全部看完,穿插著我跟潔西卡的簡訊,每
一封訊息都幫助我回想起,我不在她身邊的夜晚,她夜歸何處。
「我這幾天要考試,妳沒事就早點休息喔。」BY AQ
「今天晚上有空啊,你幾點要來找我?」BY潔西卡
「最近好忙,抱歉寶貝我一直沒時間陪妳,明天晚上去接妳下班好嗎?」BY AQ
「明天我男朋友要來找我,要約就今晚吧!」BY 潔西卡
「妳睡著了嗎?今天也太早就休息了吧!」BY AQ
「今天把你餵飽飽,他最近都會來,你要挨餓一段時間了唷时」 BY 潔西卡
我傳給她,她再傳給他。
看完簡訊後,我坐在床邊,一夜沒有闔眼,一直到她醒來。
我沒有哭,是因為不知道用什麼表情去面對這一切。
我盯著熟睡的她。
潔西卡稚嫩的臉蛋,讓我無法將她跟簡訊裡傳著淫穢話語的那個女孩連結起來。
總算,潔西卡濃黑的睫毛微微抖動,睜開了眼。
「現在幾點?你怎麼都沒有睡啊?」
潔西卡慵懶的伸展,好美,但是我沒有心情欣賞。
「AQ? 你眼睛好紅喔。」
潔西卡將頭枕在我的腿上,盯著我。
然後我將手機遞給她。
我不知道,那一陣沉默持續了多久。
「你看了…?」
潔西卡的聲音微微發抖。
我說不出話來,只能點點頭。
「你憑什麼這樣做?」
潔西卡忽然發怒,坐起身子。
「這些,不重要了吧…」
一開口說話,才發現我的聲音都啞了。
接下來又是一陣沉默,我不知道該怎麼做。
感覺不到憤怒的情緒,也哭不出來,腦中不斷浮現簡訊的內容以及一堆疑問。
「為什麼要這樣?」
我用沙啞的聲音問潔西卡。
換來的是一陣沉默。
「我哪一點比不過他?」
腦中不斷浮現的第二個疑問,依然沒有得到我想要的答案。
但卻得到一陣潔西卡的啜泣。
我嘆了一口氣,再問也改變不了什麼。
當時的我天真的以為,男女之間比的是誰用情最深,只要我一心一意的愛她,
就可以一直走到最後。
直到後來,我才知道,除了愛,還有錢,還有高級的餐廳,還有名貴的跑車,還
有浪漫的氛圍,所以,我輸的不冤。
那一天,我送潔西卡回去後,還是回學校了。
回程,眼淚不斷從眼眶內冒出來。
「我到底什麼地方不夠好?」
「為什麼她要這樣?」
「我到底什麼地方不夠好?」
「為什麼她要這樣?」
「我到底什麼地方不夠好?」
「為什麼她要這樣?」
當時的我很不甘心,很不甘心。
--
好幾天以後…
「我不想就這樣定下來。」
「或許,我們可以各玩各的,不要干涉彼此的交友。」
最後,在我沒骨氣的去挽回潔西卡時,她留給我的兩句話,讓我抉擇。
我跟潔西卡,沒有分開。
而潔西卡跟他,也沒有分開。
在我們共同的朋友與彼此的家人面前,我們還是跟平常一樣。
只是我還在思考,那天潔西卡說過的話。
「或許,我們可以各玩各的,不要干涉彼此的交友。」
我們都不知道。
那只是,互相傷害的開始。
-待續-
--
Tags:
成人
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