I have a dream - 成人話題討論

By Agnes
at 2014-11-09T22:02

Table of Contents

I have a dream

當兵是每個男人的夢想

我也一樣

從小就嚮往著穿著帥氣的軍服

去買珍珠奶茶跟雞排

或者穿著帥氣的軍服拿著帥氣的步槍帥氣的掃射機掰士官長跟連長

又或者是穿著帥氣的軍服去嫖妓

聽說軍人嫖還有半價

讀大學時

我常常穿著買來的迷彩服

“立正！！！稍息！！！”

“你是不會立正是不是？”

我在街上對著流浪狗這樣喊著

結果被警察抓走

還在精神病院住了一段時間

這天我終於等到抽軍種的時間

我腰桿挺直以坐二十分之一板凳的坐姿

精實的坐在鄉公所的大禮堂裡

等待著叫號抽籤

“426號郝精實請出來抽籤”鄉公所的人員叫著我的名字

是的我叫郝精實

旁人聽到我的名字都竊竊私語

“這個人有精實到”

“還沒當兵就這麼精實”

“是在精實什麼啦”

就像天注定般我的人生就是要精實的簽下去

我走向籤桶把單子交給一個看起來爽爽過的阿北

手伸進籤桶

慢慢的挑選每一隻籤

一小時過後

我依然還在挑籤

“妳妹的你是要抽多久啊幹”

“你媽毛咧你是在抽籤還是在抽插阿”

“你是想抽替代役是不是？操……”

一堆不耐煩的人

罵聲此起彼落

鄉公所人員揮揮手要所有人不要吵

並且微微笑的拍拍著我說

“國家的棟梁”

最後我拿出了一支籤

鄉公所人員大喊著海軍

老實說

我挺沮喪的

因為我的第一志願是海軍陸戰隊

我慢慢的走回位子上拿著東西準備離開

這時一位看起來莫約三十初頭的熟女

現在一堆2.30歲就自稱大叔熟女的

所以我就稱她熟女了

我知道她要幹嘛

因為她臉上寫著【國軍招募】四個字

“同學有沒想過換個軍種？看你不是很滿意抽籤結果” 她微微笑的問著

我搖搖頭

“可是海軍聽起來就有點弱耶”她笑笑的說

對不起我怒了

“現在是怎樣？現在是怎樣？”我把東西摔在地上

撕開她的上衣

雙手揉捏著她的雙峰

“你幹嘛啊……”她慌張的大叫

“幹嘛？教訓妳阿操看不起我們海上男兒是不是？”我邊說邊把手伸進她的內褲裡

撫摸著她的陰脣

“不要……我沒有看不起……”她哀求著

雖說她哀求著

但身體卻很老實的濕了

我摳著她的屄

大量的淫水跑出來跟我say hello

她腿顫抖著似乎呈現高潮後的腿軟狀態

我品嘗著她的淫水

“海水的味道”我深呼吸說著

我把她扶了起來

以背後式塞入

“啊~~好爽……”她呻吟著

我用力的擺動腰臀

猛烈的撞擊她的臀部

啪啪啪啪聲迴蕩在禮堂裡

繞樑三日

肉棒在那波浪般皺褶的穴裡

來回的進出

或許是插到激烈處

突然一個感覺上來

士氣高昂

“男兒立志在抽插男兒立志在抽插預備唱！！”

禮堂禮所有的新兵都士氣高昂的一起跟著唱著肉棒進行曲

“男兒立志在抽插

馬的老二硬邦邦

金戈揮屌找穴闖

精液奔騰憾山崗

頭可斷蛋可破

男兒尊嚴不可喪

挺起龜頭把穴插

插出勝利樂章~”

唱完一陣歡聲雷動大家猶如要反攻大陸般士氣高昂

唱完我射了

唱完她高潮了

我在同胞們的掌聲下走出禮堂

默默的說：我不幹日用品已經很久了

這天

我與同梯的新兵站在新訓中心外

其他人都在哭著跟馬子道別

十八相送

而我

豪邁的以這身軍服頭也不回的走了進去

http://i.imgur.com/0tY55x9.jpg

一分鐘後

我被教育班長抓去關緊閉

史上最速緊閉室get

--
Sent from my Android

--

Tags: 成人

All Comments

By Sarah
at 2014-11-11T23:34

首推！

By Odelette
at 2014-11-14T01:07

推

By Leila
at 2014-11-16T02:40

推

By Hedwig
at 2014-11-18T04:13

…推

By Suhail Hany
at 2014-11-20T05:46

５樓帥哥

By Christine
at 2014-11-22T07:19

六樓30cm

By Ingrid
at 2014-11-24T08:51

.......

By Olive
at 2014-11-26T10:24

推我的神猜哥

By Erin
at 2014-11-28T11:57

沒看ID就先看文章我想說這人是不是在模仿猜哥

By Kelly
at 2014-11-30T13:30

結果是真的猜哥

By Mia
at 2014-12-02T15:03

push

By Frederic
at 2014-12-04T16:36

XDDDD

By Mia
at 2014-12-06T18:08

關緊閉也太快

By Hazel
at 2014-12-08T19:41

猜哥又一力作XDDDD

By Necoo
at 2014-12-10T21:14

By Dinah
at 2014-12-12T22:47

確定不是最速驗退XDXD

By Oliver
at 2014-12-15T00:20

這歌掰的太屌了

By Xanthe
at 2014-12-17T01:53

我跟著唱惹

By Skylar Davis
at 2014-12-19T03:25

會爆

By Michael
at 2014-12-21T04:58

By Noah
at 2014-12-23T06:31

幹，我居然跟著唱完了XDDDD

By Ina
at 2014-12-25T08:04

後面無力,還是警局梗比較優XD

By Victoria
at 2014-12-27T09:37

推猜哥哈哈

By Ida
at 2014-12-29T11:10

後面無力啦

By Blanche
at 2014-12-31T12:42

前段蠻廢
後段給推

By Anthony
at 2015-01-02T14:15

三小啦XDDD

By Andrew
at 2015-01-04T15:48

挑籤挑一小時是三小XD

By Erin
at 2015-01-06T17:21

後面少了點勁兒

By David
at 2015-01-08T18:54

靠邀, 不知覺跟著唱了

By Joseph
at 2015-01-10T20:27

笑死XD

By Joseph
at 2015-01-12T21:59

By Eden
at 2015-01-14T23:32

猜哥推

By Joseph
at 2015-01-17T01:05

為看先推，猜大必爆

By Agatha
at 2015-01-19T02:38

XDDDDDDDD

By Dora
at 2015-01-21T04:11

跟著唱+1

By Steve
at 2015-01-23T05:44

海水der味道

By Frederica
at 2015-01-25T07:16

XDDDDDDD

By Carol
at 2015-01-27T08:49

為什麼耳邊會傳來旋律…

By Oliver
at 2015-01-29T10:22

推真男兒

By Vanessa
at 2015-01-31T11:55

猜哥！！！

By Ina
at 2015-02-02T13:28

未看先推猜哥

By Robert
at 2015-02-04T15:01

XDDDDDDDDDD

By Oliver
at 2015-02-06T16:33

哈哈哈哈，不過怎麼關這麼快

By Harry
at 2015-02-08T18:06

流浪狗是三小XD

By Gary
at 2015-02-10T19:39

哈哈

By Suhail Hany
at 2015-02-12T21:12

推

By Mia
at 2015-02-14T22:45

果然是猜哥XD

By Cara
at 2015-02-17T00:18

幹我跟著唱了

By Margaret
at 2015-02-19T01:50

幹..........................我笑噴了!!!!!!!!!

By Ina
at 2015-02-21T03:23

有旋律太神拉

By Hedda
at 2015-02-23T04:56

By Kama
at 2015-02-25T06:29

ㄏㄏㄏ

By Olive
at 2015-02-27T08:02

推XDDD

By Noah
at 2015-03-01T09:35

結尾沒進警局!失敗!

By Annie
at 2015-03-03T11:07

哈哈哈改編的好強

By Ina
at 2015-03-05T12:40

神歌

By Thomas
at 2015-03-07T14:13

這不推不行！這歌詞簡直深入人心根本神曲！

By Gilbert
at 2015-03-09T15:46

推

By Charlotte
at 2015-03-11T17:19

狂笑有推

By Necoo
at 2015-03-13T18:52

笑死

By Jack
at 2015-03-15T20:24

幹！我居然跟著唱了

By Olive
at 2015-03-17T21:57

XDDDDDDDD

By Jacob
at 2015-03-19T23:30

幹XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Hedwig
at 2015-03-22T01:03

猜哥先推

By Andy
at 2015-03-24T02:36

最好笑還是那篇天使與惡魔

By Olivia
at 2015-03-26T04:09

有笑到～

By Quintina
at 2015-03-28T05:41

推

By Anonymous
at 2015-03-30T07:14

有笑有推!!

By Heather
at 2015-04-01T08:47

猜哥我愛你XDDD

By Anonymous
at 2015-04-03T10:20

神曲給推啊啊啊

By Mason
at 2015-04-05T11:53

XDDDD

By Erin
at 2015-04-07T13:26

這一定爆

By Callum
at 2015-04-09T14:58

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Mason
at 2015-04-11T16:31

跟著唱xdxdxd

By Aaliyah
at 2015-04-13T18:04

最好是抽到海軍馬上變身海上男兒啦XDDDDD

By Kelly
at 2015-04-15T19:37

猜哥必推

By Lily
at 2015-04-17T21:10

推

By Hedwig
at 2015-04-19T22:43

By Mary
at 2015-04-22T00:15

不自覺唱完哈哈

By Ivy
at 2015-04-24T01:48

推

By Delia
at 2015-04-26T03:21

流浪狗

By Faithe
at 2015-04-28T04:54

海軍弟兄淚推

By Hamiltion
at 2015-04-30T06:27

推

By Daph Bay
at 2015-05-02T08:00

會心一笑推！海軍回憶瞬間湧起

By Michael
at 2015-05-04T09:32

啥鬼~"~

By George
at 2015-05-06T11:05

我以為這次會幹籤筒

By Joseph
at 2015-05-08T12:38

為什麼不給我警察局

By Zanna
at 2015-05-10T14:11

推

By Donna
at 2015-05-12T15:44

XDDD

By Lily
at 2015-05-14T17:17

呵呵

By Hardy
at 2015-05-16T18:49

真想看你本人.....

By Agnes
at 2015-05-18T20:22

馬上變海上男兒認同感太強了吧XDDDD

By Eden
at 2015-05-20T21:55

說真的軍歌只會勇士進行曲= =

By Kama
at 2015-05-22T23:28

可以轉軍旅版嗎XD

By Rosalind
at 2015-05-25T01:01

推……正義!

By Todd Johnson
at 2015-05-27T02:34

真男人啊XDD

By Connor
at 2015-05-29T04:06

還在想這次又會幹什麼呢XDDDDDD

By Edward Lewis
at 2015-05-31T05:39

讚

By Emily
at 2015-06-02T07:12

沒想到我能在收假前看到猜哥發廢文太感動啦!

By Hamiltion
at 2015-06-04T08:45

跟著唱哈哈

By Zanna
at 2015-06-06T10:18

下一個重邱

By Frederica
at 2015-06-08T11:51

所以這次真的沒幹日用品幹熟女!+

By Isabella
at 2015-06-10T13:23

看ID就是先推再看文

By Hazel
at 2015-06-12T14:56

推推

By Lily
at 2015-06-14T16:29

推Xdd

By Skylar Davis
at 2015-06-16T18:02

居然不是幹籤筒...失望...

By Hazel
at 2015-06-18T19:35

看猜哥首推

By Kristin
at 2015-06-20T21:08

猜哥必推XD

By Cara
at 2015-06-22T22:40

郝精實就笑了XD

By Jacob
at 2015-06-25T00:13

猜哥推

By Carol
at 2015-06-27T01:46

風雲起山河動風雲起山河動預備唱

By Xanthe
at 2015-06-29T03:19

海上男兒推

By Irma
at 2015-07-01T04:52

這次有失水準

By Irma
at 2015-07-03T06:25

白癡XDDDDD

By Emma
at 2015-07-05T07:57

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Annie
at 2015-07-07T09:30

猜哥太神啦XDDDDD

By Regina
at 2015-07-09T11:03

推

By Delia
at 2015-07-11T12:36

爆

By Lucy
at 2015-07-13T14:09

猜猜！！（偷摸）

By Adele
at 2015-07-15T15:42

推

By Elizabeth
at 2015-07-17T17:14

推啦XDD

By Caitlin
at 2015-07-19T18:47

哈哈

By Carolina Franco
at 2015-07-21T20:20

幹我才大三就會唱。。。。

By Lydia
at 2015-07-23T21:53

猜哥等你好久啦

By Damian
at 2015-07-25T23:26

幹太好笑了

By Iris
at 2015-07-28T00:59

什麼時候來改一下夜襲吧XD

By Eartha
at 2015-07-30T02:31

海水的味道....XD

By Edward Lewis
at 2015-08-01T04:04

這啥毀啦！

By Jake
at 2015-08-03T05:37

竟然唱完了.......是說原本我也以為是幹籤筒

By Anthony
at 2015-08-05T07:10

猜哥必推，我還以為這次要幹籤筒

By Frederic
at 2015-08-07T08:43

By Kyle
at 2015-08-09T10:16

猜哥爆了。。。。

By Steve
at 2015-08-11T11:48

笑死哈哈

By Xanthe
at 2015-08-13T13:21

哈哈哈

By Yedda
at 2015-08-15T14:54

猜哥什麼時候由綠轉紅啊?

By Jessica
at 2015-08-17T16:27

我唱的出來~？！

By Dora
at 2015-08-19T18:00

猜錯了因為會進去警察局

By Anthony
at 2015-08-21T19:33

可惡沒猜到幹的是什麼XDD

By Elizabeth
at 2015-08-23T21:05

2191T 懇親假ing 推

By Brianna
at 2015-08-25T22:38

有笑有推

By Margaret
at 2015-08-28T00:11

幹XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Irma
at 2015-08-30T01:44

海軍原來是鋪梗阿XDD

By Genevieve
at 2015-09-01T03:17

哈哈哈給推

By Hedda
at 2015-09-03T04:50

國家有綱常軍隊有軍妓XDD

By Noah
at 2015-09-05T06:22

跟著唱+1XDDDDDDD

By Kama
at 2015-09-07T07:55

推猜哥！！！

By Sierra Rose
at 2015-09-09T09:28

哈哈

By Hedda
at 2015-09-11T11:01

有笑有推，海上男兒哈哈

By Brianna
at 2015-09-13T12:34

這會真的有幹到了

By Tom
at 2015-09-15T14:07

抽籤的時候很好笑XD

By Rebecca
at 2015-09-17T15:39

我到底唱了什麼

By Tom
at 2015-09-19T17:12

腦海裡有旋律跟著出來
最速退訓啦

By Hedy
at 2015-09-21T18:45

推一下

By Madame
at 2015-09-23T20:18

猜哥必推

By Iris
at 2015-09-25T21:51

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Susan
at 2015-09-27T23:24

幹~~~~跟著唱一遍阿

By Rachel
at 2015-09-30T00:56

廢到笑XDD

By Genevieve
at 2015-10-02T02:29

傻眼www

By Bethany
at 2015-10-04T04:02

猜哥文裡一定有一句“你幹嘛啊”XDD

By Victoria
at 2015-10-06T05:35

幹，舞告北妻又有畫面

By Victoria
at 2015-10-08T07:08

哈哈哈哈

By Christine
at 2015-10-10T08:41

推

By Una
at 2015-10-12T10:13

馬的這篇我真的廢到笑翻

By Gary
at 2015-10-14T11:46

哈哈

By Hazel
at 2015-10-16T13:19

朝聖推

By Thomas
at 2015-10-18T14:52

猜哥你好強！！歌詞太屌了XDDD

By Sandy
at 2015-10-20T16:25

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Lily
at 2015-10-22T17:58

幹我跟著唱了....

By Susan
at 2015-10-24T19:30

有笑有推

By Franklin
at 2015-10-26T21:03

猜哥必推

By Oliver
at 2015-10-28T22:36

猜哥升級了從進警局變成關禁閉了

By Jacob
at 2015-10-31T00:09

推xdd

By Eden
at 2015-11-02T01:42

跟著唱完了XDDDDDD

By Dora
at 2015-11-04T03:15

ㄎㄎ

By Noah
at 2015-11-06T04:47

廢文界的典範

By Olive
at 2015-11-08T06:20

推

By Adele
at 2015-11-10T07:53

我笑了XD

By Ula
at 2015-11-12T09:26

好猛喔

By Sierra Rose
at 2015-11-14T10:59

不小心就跟著唱

By Blanche
at 2015-11-16T12:32

推XD

By Carol
at 2015-11-18T14:04

我還沒當過兵但也聽過軍歌
竄改軍歌歌詞會被處理掉嗎

By Lucy
at 2015-11-20T15:37

這好洨XD

By Ethan
at 2015-11-22T17:10

終於等到你了猜哥

By Eden
at 2015-11-24T18:43

好歌好哥

By Agnes
at 2015-11-26T20:16

推，太利害了

By Freda
at 2015-11-28T21:49

有屌到

By Ingrid
at 2015-11-30T23:21

有神....

By Madame
at 2015-12-03T00:54

哈哈哈哈ＸＤ

By Agatha
at 2015-12-05T02:27

海軍啊海軍

By Edwina
at 2015-12-07T04:00

你來秀軍歌的喔

By Edwina
at 2015-12-09T05:33

感覺剛從教召訓練營被放出來

By Hedwig
at 2015-12-11T07:06

???????????????

By Anonymous
at 2015-12-13T08:38

先爆吧!!!!!!!!!!!

By Callum
at 2015-12-15T10:11

沒進警察局

By Ina
at 2015-12-17T11:44

幹最後那張圖XDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Frederica
at 2015-12-19T13:17

跟著唱了幹XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Valerie
at 2015-12-21T14:50

幹未看我先推

By Kristin
at 2015-12-23T16:23

猜哥文筆，必屬好品

By Lily
at 2015-12-25T17:55

有笑有推

By Doris
at 2015-12-27T19:28

太屌了XDDDD

By Eden
at 2015-12-29T21:01

其實滿好笑的……

By Susan
at 2015-12-31T22:34

菜逼八幾t的?

By Leila
at 2016-01-03T00:07

收尾弱掉啦

By Hardy
at 2016-01-05T01:40

這首歌太猛了

By Faithe
at 2016-01-07T03:12

猜哥出桶了~~~

By Ingrid
at 2016-01-09T04:45

感覺是鄧佳華

By Bennie
at 2016-01-11T06:18

前面到底幹了什麼啊？籤桶嗎？

By Zanna
at 2016-01-13T07:51

最速禁閉室XD

By Charlie
at 2016-01-15T09:24

推

By Brianna
at 2016-01-17T10:57

幹我跟著唱了XDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Aaliyah
at 2016-01-19T12:29

hahaha

By Frederic
at 2016-01-21T14:02

跟著唱完+1XD

By Elma
at 2016-01-23T15:35

他馬的，我居然跟著唱完了，這三小

By Iris
at 2016-01-25T17:08

XD 唱歌部分嘴角失守

By Andrew
at 2016-01-27T18:41

猜哥我愛你！！

By Edward Lewis
at 2016-01-29T20:14

媽的老二硬邦邦XDDDDD

By Sierra Rose
at 2016-01-31T21:46

跟著唱...

By Lucy
at 2016-02-02T23:19

有好笑有推~~~ XD

By Hamiltion
at 2016-02-05T00:52

有好笑到

By Mason
at 2016-02-07T02:25

腦中跟唱惹

By Candice
at 2016-02-09T03:58

海水的味道

By Ula
at 2016-02-11T05:31

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Steve
at 2016-02-13T07:03

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Kelly
at 2016-02-15T08:36

推

By Callum
at 2016-02-17T10:09

你是在抽籤還是在抽插XDDDDDD

By Daniel
at 2016-02-19T11:42

XDDDDDD

By Hedwig
at 2016-02-21T13:15

XDDDDDDDDDDD

By Sandy
at 2016-02-23T14:48

新兵會被關緊閉??

By Gary
at 2016-02-25T16:20

跟著唱+1

By Callum
at 2016-02-27T17:53

挑籖ㄧ小時超猛XDDDD

By Edith
at 2016-02-29T19:26

神曲op

I have a dream - 成人話題討論

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